FINALLY got FI to sit down and talk budget!

KytchynWitche · October 2013

We managed to nail down a budget, at long last, AND decide once and for all that we're going dry.

My sister told me yesterday that our stepmother's drinking is now getting to the point where people are asking my sister to please talk to our dad about it. Considering we were already worried that she would cause a scene at the wedding (because that's the kind of person she is), we definitely don't want to tempt fate by putting alcohol in the mix.

We also decided NOT to invite my stepsisters, who just turned 10 and can't behave at any function where they're not the center of attention. We aren't having other children at the wedding, and they're at that awkward age where they're too old for colouring books and building blocks, but not old enough to just eat and be merry. And I'm not prepared to hire entertainment just for two bored little girls. My budget does not extend to that. I'm sure that this is going to cause drama, but really it's my wedding and I don't want kids there - even if they are my "sisters".

But yay for making progress!

Lauderdale Pink · October 2013

OK, you have way more going on here than just the budget. It sounds like you are planning your wedding around what you "don't want" rather than what will make you happy. I've been to "dry" weddings and, to be honest, did not really notice a difference. People who want to have fun, will.

As for the step-sisters, I agree that they should not be there if they have no self-control, but if their mother has none, where would they have learned it? Could you and your sister take them out for a "girls" lunch and really talk to them about behavior expectations at a wedding?

All in all, take some time to decide what you really want at your wedding and not what you are trying to avoid. Try to make yourself happy too!

KytchynWitche · October 2013

Lauderdale Pink said:

OK, you have way more going on here than just the budget. It sounds like you are planning your wedding around what you "don't want" rather than what will make you happy. I've been to "dry" weddings and, to be honest, did not really notice a difference. People who want to have fun, will.
As for the step-sisters, I agree that they should not be there if they have no self-control, but if their mother has none, where would they have learned it? Could you and your sister take them out for a "girls" lunch and really talk to them about behavior expectations at a wedding?
All in all, take some time to decide what you really want at your wedding and not what you are trying to avoid. Try to make yourself happy too!

Oh don't worry, this is just one teeny tiny part of the planning - it's mostly about what we DO want.

Unfortunately, I live almost 5 hours away from them, so a "girls" lunch wouldn't be possible. And knowing my stepmother it would cause even more drama because "how dare we presume to tell her darlings what to do". It's really safest just to not invite them.

We're getting the venue we want (I've spoken to the venue owner already and we have some plans in place, we're just waiting for our officiant to get back to us about dates). We're getting the officiant we want, and the food we want, and the music we want. We have the bridal party we want, and (very nearly) the guest list we want. Our colours are our colours, and I'm DIYing pretty much all the decor and stationery to be sure it's exactly what we want.

The venue owner has some fantastic ideas on how to make the drinks festive so no one even really notices that they're alcohol-free, and we're pretty much in agreement on everything.

Really, this thing with the step-family is a teeny tiny part of the whole plan. I only posted about it because we've finally made a decision after back-and-forthing it for weeks.

FINALLY got FI to sit down and talk budget!

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