Speaking of Schmucks - No Shows

MuppetOverlord · October 2013

I know I haven't AW'd my wedding yet (which was awesome) but while I'm on the topic - I detest the no shows

After all the weddings I've been to in the past year, I really am understanding why so many friendships die at weddings. If you PLAN a no-show to my wedding to play D&D, I pretty much never want to talk to you again.....this accounts for 4 no shows.

1 person just ...we have no idea why she didn't show but she's plenty active on FB before, day of and after. She even posted a photo of her dog looking cute that day. Well, I guess we save a stamp at Christmas.

and the other was my FI's non-existent date. She told us 3 weeks before the wedding that she was bringing a date. Ok... What's his name so i can put him on the escort card? "I don't know," she says, "I haven't met him yet but I figure 3 weeks is plenty of time' (to meet someone on the internet). She didn't. This is probably the least offensive thing she did all year though.

Our entertainment also cancelled last minute, so a meal down for a vendor too.

If you don't want to come to our wedding, decline! I wouldn't have minded at all.

casey8784 · October 2013

Your entertainment cancelled? Did they give a reason or were they just MIA the day of? Sucks, though! But glad that you're wedding was awesome!

MuppetOverlord · October 2013

He was also my officiant. He e-mailed me (not called) the Sunday before to tell me he had a family 'issue' and wouldn't be able to stay after marrying us (ETA: to do the entertainment. He's also a comedian).

We don't know what the "issue" was but it wasn't an emergency because he had a whole week to plan for it and he was very careful not to use that word. We honestly had the impression he had a better paying gig. Putting my judgement on his "issue" aside for fairness....

I was annoyed that he did this via e-mail and it left me very uneasy and I felt like I was supposed to find a new officiant least minute. I was more annoyed that he didn't find a replacement as his contract states, and most annoyed that he removed the package pricing he gave us an charged me full price for the officiant service because he cancelled the rest.

We ended up with a caricaturist that everyone loved and are glad it happened in the end but....still annoyed with the guy.

HisGirlFriday13 · October 2013

I posted about a similar issue before our wedding. Two of DH's friends showed up toward the end of a friend's reception -- after having missed the ceremony -- because, 'We were going to come, but the game got good.'

Obtw, the 'game' was on ESPN classic. Yeah.

We had five no-shows:
-- my cousin, who had a baby the day before, and
her husband
-- one of DH's father's cousins and her husband, because the husband's brother died the day if our wedding
-- one of DH's co-workers, whose (finished) basement flooded in the torrential downpour we had the three days before our wedding

crunchymamaof2 · October 2013

If it hadn't been so close to the wedding I would have told that officiant to shove it where the sun don't shine.

I'm happy everything worked out for you though....can't wait for pictures :-)

LakeR2014 · October 2013

On a side note @acove2006 Best of luck for your wedding on Sunday! Congrats!

photokitty · October 2013

I had 8.

5 I totally understood-

-DH's boss & wife - her friends died suddenly and they traveled out of state for the funeral

-My friend & her DH - babysitter got sick that day and couldn't find a replacement. Still feels awful. She called my mom that day, if mom had told me I would have told her to bring the kids.

-Flower girl's dad - in hospital with heart issues. It was really scary, he's fine now that God!

2 I think were total asshats -

-2 of DH's employees asked if they could bring dates. They were single. One asked 3 days before the wedding. I was so ticked, but let them. Then neither date showed up! Seriously? Who does that? To their BOSS??

For the life of me I can't remember who the 8th person was, but I know it was 8. They missed an awesome time - their loss :-D oh well.

KickAssMOH · October 2013

No-shows were my biggest wedding fear. We had a small-ish wedding (90), and are pretty close with everyone who was there. I know this sounds silly, but I was honestly nervous that people would forget that it was our wedding day....and forget to show up. Aside from marrying my best friend, the 2nd happiest moment of my night was walking over to the escort card table and seeing that each and every one of those cards had been snatched up. I think that was when I finally let out a sigh of relief that all of our guests had made it ...and that zero dollars were wasted on our wedding. Gosh I sound like such a cheap a hole....

But yea, at $200 per meal and without a reason, that would've been a friendship-ending move.

MairePoppy · October 2013

@MuppetOverlord - Your 4 'friends' who skipped your wedding for D&D are asses. They could have at least made up a good story.

radleyboo · October 2013

Two of H's cousins were no-shows. We have no idea why, to this day. H didn't really care because his cousin's wife is a total nightmare beeotch, I guess. I wouldn't know because I've never met them. Oh well.

ETA-We had a very small wedding, about 50 people, so H's family definitely noticed. H's aunt actually called and texted them both, asking where they were and if they were coming, and they never responded. If anyone else noticed, they didn't say anything to me. To be perfectly honest, I couldn't have cared less, it was an amazing day and they are the ones who missed out.

And YES! One less Christmas card!

photokitty · October 2013

MairePoppy said:

@MuppetOverlord - Your 4 'friends' who skipped your wedding for D&D are asses. They could have at least made up a good story.

Ok, I just got that is was Dungeons & Dragons. I thought they missed it for being Drunk & Disorderly. DOH! Not sure which would be a worse "excuse"...

LakeR2014 · October 2013

My cousin had two entire families from her husbands side no-show, which equated to one whole table and a half being empty. It was clearly visible that there were no shows. Thankfully by the time it came to dinner, the wait staff must've decided they were no-shows removed the empty table and a couple from one table moved to the half empty table (they new the folks) to 'allow more space' at the other table.

The odd part is that the family made a huge fuss about coming and her MIL was adamant they be invited. To this day I don't think they've given a reason for missing it.

APDSS22 · October 2013

I finally broke down and counted. I had 15 no shows.

One called me a few days before to tell me there was a good chance she wouldn't be able to make it because some people at work had the flu so she might not be able to take off after all. I'm not mad about that because the same thing could've easily happened to me.

One made it to the ceremony, but due to his wife being sick had to skip the reception. So that accounts for 2 that I likewise understand but still had to pay for meals for.

One told me her homework was really bearing down on her so she might not show. I told her to come if she could get away, if only because we had free food for her. She never showed up though. Iffy on whether or not that is okay because the reception was literally less than a block away.

One of the groomsmen had his mom fill out the response card and we'd given him a plus one but he didn't intend to bring a date, his mom RSVP'd for 2 anyway and I honestly just didn't catch that "no show" so that's on me.

Apparently a flu was going around and at least 2 of my guests apologized for missing the wedding but they felt dead when they woke up that morning. I told them not to worry about it, it's not really something that they could've foreseen and I'm happy they didn't come and make all my guests sick for the next week.

One apparently no showed in a fit of pique because his tempestuous on again-off again (but more often off-again) beau was not invited. Yet he never told us that they'd gotten together again and last we heard he was being kicked out of the apartment they share. I didn't find out about this from him. I'm still pissed off about that one because if he cared that much, he should've informed us they were dating. I would've extended an invite for the guy to make my should've-been guest happy.

The other 7 I never received an explanation from and I refuse to call them first because I will probably get rage-y. A few are more hubby's friends than mine so maybe I'll feel better if I just pretend they are etiquette oblivious and meant to come but had something important come up. The extra food didn't go to waste though, one of my friends asked if she could take the food to a local domestic violence charity and they apparently really loved it so I feel a teensy bit better about the whole thing.

phira · October 2013

D&D has got to be one of the WORST excuses I've heard of. I'd be astounded if someone RSVPed "no" because the wedding was during a regularly scheduled game. But to RSVP "yes" and not show up because of a game? No thank you, you can leave forever, goodbye.

I am NOT saying that the flu is a bad reason to miss a wedding (it's not!), but my partner had the flu when we were up at a wedding last weekend. I'll tell you, he probably should have stayed in the hotel (or at home!), although he says he had a good time.

loca4pook · October 2013

MuppetOverlord said:

He was also my officiant. He e-mailed me (not called) the Sunday before to tell me he had a family 'issue' and wouldn't be able to stay after marrying us (ETA: to do the entertainment. He's also a comedian).

We don't know what the "issue" was but it wasn't an emergency because he had a whole week to plan for it and he was very careful not to use that word. We honestly had the impression he had a better paying gig. Putting my judgement on his "issue" aside for fairness....

I was annoyed that he did this via e-mail and it left me very uneasy and I felt like I was supposed to find a new officiant least minute. I was more annoyed that he didn't find a replacement as his contract states, and most annoyed that he removed the package pricing he gave us an charged me full price for the officiant service because he cancelled the rest.

We ended up with a caricaturist that everyone loved and are glad it happened in the end but....still annoyed with the guy.

I would sue his arse...seriously, he broke a contract

loca4pook · October 2013

I had two couples

1) my cousin and they husband was sick. They sent a gift along with another cousin because they felt bad

2) my DH's parents friends. They screwed up the date and showed up to the wedding the next day. They felt horrible and also sent a gift.

JoanE2012 · October 2013

MuppetOverlord said:

He was also my officiant. He e-mailed me (not called) the Sunday before to tell me he had a family 'issue' and wouldn't be able to stay after marrying us (ETA: to do the entertainment. He's also a comedian).

We don't know what the "issue" was but it wasn't an emergency because he had a whole week to plan for it and he was very careful not to use that word. We honestly had the impression he had a better paying gig. Putting my judgement on his "issue" aside for fairness....

I was annoyed that he did this via e-mail and it left me very uneasy and I felt like I was supposed to find a new officiant least minute. I was more annoyed that he didn't find a replacement as his contract states, and most annoyed that he removed the package pricing he gave us an charged me full price for the officiant service because he cancelled the rest.

We ended up with a caricaturist that everyone loved and are glad it happened in the end but....still annoyed with the guy.

He broke a contract.....I would've just paid him what the original contract stated for the officiant role. No way in hell I'd give him even more.

ETA: clarity

MuppetOverlord · October 2013

photokitty said:

MairePoppy said:

@MuppetOverlord - Your 4 'friends' who skipped your wedding for D&D are asses. They could have at least made up a good story.

Ok, I just got that is was Dungeons & Dragons. I thought they missed it for being Drunk & Disorderly. DOH! Not sure which would be a worse "excuse"...

you made me LOL with your original interpretation!

Actually, the excuse they each provided to is individually was that their car broke down and needed repair. Now, they each have a second car... but they played D&D and posted about it on FB which is how we found out.

I told my assistant about this and she said that was so BS because she doesn't even have a car and she came. Also, my cousins broke down on the way and called a limo to get them real quick (its all they could get at that moment) to quickly come get them so they could make the ceremony

MuppetOverlord · October 2013

JoanE2012 said:

MuppetOverlord said:

He was also my officiant. He e-mailed me (not called) the Sunday before to tell me he had a family 'issue' and wouldn't be able to stay after marrying us (ETA: to do the entertainment. He's also a comedian).

We don't know what the "issue" was but it wasn't an emergency because he had a whole week to plan for it and he was very careful not to use that word. We honestly had the impression he had a better paying gig. Putting my judgement on his "issue" aside for fairness....

I was annoyed that he did this via e-mail and it left me very uneasy and I felt like I was supposed to find a new officiant least minute. I was more annoyed that he didn't find a replacement as his contract states, and most annoyed that he removed the package pricing he gave us an charged me full price for the officiant service because he cancelled the rest.

We ended up with a caricaturist that everyone loved and are glad it happened in the end but....still annoyed with the guy.

He broke a contract.....I would've just paid him what the original contract stated for the officiant role. No way in hell I'd give him even more.

ETA: clarity

The contract was always a bundled rate. They were broken down via e-mail (which arguably could be considered part of the contract in court).

But we're only talking about $50

Honestly, I just wanted him to come, do the ceremony and leave. I didn't want to have to find a new officiant 5 days before I needed one. I also did not want to have an argument with him at the wedding when I was giving him the check.

The reviews he's getting, however, are the way that I am acknowledging this mess.

AddieCake · October 2013

I was pissed about our no-shows.

JoanE2012 · October 2013

MuppetOverlord said:

JoanE2012 said:

MuppetOverlord said:

He was also my officiant. He e-mailed me (not called) the Sunday before to tell me he had a family 'issue' and wouldn't be able to stay after marrying us (ETA: to do the entertainment. He's also a comedian).

We don't know what the "issue" was but it wasn't an emergency because he had a whole week to plan for it and he was very careful not to use that word. We honestly had the impression he had a better paying gig. Putting my judgement on his "issue" aside for fairness....

I was annoyed that he did this via e-mail and it left me very uneasy and I felt like I was supposed to find a new officiant least minute. I was more annoyed that he didn't find a replacement as his contract states, and most annoyed that he removed the package pricing he gave us an charged me full price for the officiant service because he cancelled the rest.

We ended up with a caricaturist that everyone loved and are glad it happened in the end but....still annoyed with the guy.

He broke a contract.....I would've just paid him what the original contract stated for the officiant role. No way in hell I'd give him even more.

ETA: clarity

The contract was always a bundled rate. They were broken down via e-mail (which arguably could be considered part of the contract in court).

But we're only talking about $50

Honestly, I just wanted him to come, do the ceremony and leave. I didn't want to have to find a new officiant 5 days before I needed one. I also did not want to have an argument with him at the wedding when I was giving him the check.

The reviews he's getting, however, are the way that I am acknowledging this mess.

Good for you.....the guy isn't bright enough to realize that reputation is worth more than $50!

photokitty · October 2013

phira said:
D&D has got to be one of the WORST excuses I've heard of. I'd be astounded if someone RSVPed "no" because the wedding was during a regularly scheduled game. But to RSVP "yes" and not show up because of a game? No thank you, you can leave forever, goodbye.

I am NOT saying that the flu is a bad reason to miss a wedding (it's not!), but my partner had the flu when we were up at a wedding last weekend. I'll tell you, he probably should have stayed in the hotel (or at home!), although he says he had a good time.

I think the flu is an excellent reason to miss~ but that's bc I don't want to catch the flu from you. When you are sick please stay home and keep your germs to yourself

phira · October 2013

photokitty said:

D&D has got to be one of the WORST excuses I've heard of. I'd be astounded if someone RSVPed "no" because the wedding was during a regularly scheduled game. But to RSVP "yes" and not show up because of a game? No thank you, you can leave forever, goodbye.

I am NOT saying that the flu is a bad reason to miss a wedding (it's not!), but my partner had the flu when we were up at a wedding last weekend. I'll tell you, he probably should have stayed in the hotel (or at home!), although he says he had a good time.
I think the flu is an excellent reason to miss~ but that's bc I don't want to catch the flu from you. When you are sick please stay home and keep your germs to yourself

Tell that to him. (In his defense, he had just gotten sick and we didn't realize it was the flu, but he goes to work even when he's extremely sick and contagious and often has to be sent home by his boss. I'm tired of it, but he's an adult and I can't control him.)

MuppetOverlord · October 2013

AddieL73 said:

I was pissed about our no-shows.

Too bad you didn't know a Muppet Overlord at that time.

And too bad he got drunk at mine and didn't do his job (Ill post a pic later)

Keith+Brenna · October 2013

I was extremely offended by no-shows. Not by the people who called a couple days before with a reason/excuse, but the people who just simply didn't show up. No call, no text, no facebook message. C'mon people, gimme something! I had two couples do this. I sent them an e-mail saying "Sorry we missed you this weekend. I hope everything is okay and we hope to get together sometime soon." Although, I do agree that is probably a friendship-ender. I just hope they realize on their wedding day how it feels.

banana468 · October 2013

We had two no shows. One was the (now)ex fiancée of DH's cousin who had a rep for being a jerk and the other was my great aunt who had issues with lupus that day and she just couldn't get out. In all I think we escaped well.

Bubblegum5586 · October 2013

we had numerous no shows, some I knew about the day before but wasn't going to change anything at that point and a few that didn't show up that night. Most of which I barely noticed the night of because it was hard enough to see all the people who came nvmd, trying to remember the people who didn't!

We also had 2 crashers! DH aunt and uncle who were MIA while trying to get an RSVP from them, decided to show up, luckily we had plenty of food with the no shows!

Jen4948 · October 2013

This happened at the wedding of some friends. My BF was closer friends with the couple than I am and was invited while I wasn't, and he told me that while at the wedding, he took a call from another friend who was invited to the wedding but was not attending because he was starting a new job that day (he was since fired from that job). He had RSVPd yes and told my BF to tell the couple that he was not attending. They've refused to speak to or socialize with him ever since, to the point that they won't accept invitations from other people if they know that this no-show is invited. I don't want to invite the no-show to my wedding either (I've witnessed some other instances that led me to realize that the no-show in question has absolutely no social grace) but my BF insists on inviting him and that he, my BF, will pay for him. I refuse to do so!

MuppetOverlord · October 2013

It's amazing how much a wedding affects relationships....or perhaps, shows us who people really are and how much you mean to them.

Over the past several months through the different weddings we've been to, it's just crazy what we found people we've known many years to be capable of. You read about the stories on here but don't think you know anyone like this... and then...you realize you do!

MairePoppy · October 2013

My daughter had many no shows due to Hurricane Sandy, completely understandable.

I had eleven no shows at my wedding. My mother's sister added her sons, their wives and grandchildren to her RSVP. My mother decided to let it go since my aunt was a big trouble maker in the family and she wanted to avoid drama. None of them showed up. They didn't call before or after, either. Even though it was a waste of food and money, there was a silver lining. It was the end of my relationship with those awful people.

banana468 · October 2013

Maire, how did I forget that your daughter was married after Sandy? I get chills thinking about that terrible storm!

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