Wedding Etiquette Forum

STD etiquette vs. invitation etiquette

Simky906Simky906 member
250 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
edited November 2013 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
When sending out invitations I will be following proper etiquette; everyone 18 and over gets their own invitation with SO included. However, I read in an earlier post that STD etiquette is a bit more flexible. The example from that post was sending 1 STD to a family of four (where 2 are college students living at home) was acceptable. I wanted to make sure this was okay to do. I also have one other instance I would like advice on. We are inviting 3 adult platonic roommates to our wedding; would it be okay to send them 1 STD? My initial instinct was that they should get their own, but we're doing magnet STDs so I also feel like that would be silly. Thanks in advance for your advice! ETA: Apologies for the lack of formatting. I can't get paragraphs to show up on my iPad.

Re: STD etiquette vs. invitation etiquette

  • I think sending one STD, with everyone's name on it, to one house is OK. Especially if you're doing magnets -- no one needs THREE magnets on their fridge reminding them of your upcoming wedding. 
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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • I think sending one STD, with everyone's name on it, to one house is OK. Especially if you're doing magnets -- no one needs THREE magnets on their fridge reminding them of your upcoming wedding. 
    Agreed. That would almost seem AWish. Like "PLASTER MY WEDDING ALL OVER YOUR LIFE SO YOU DON'T FORGET"
  • I think sending one STD, with everyone's name on it, to one house is OK. Especially if you're doing magnets -- no one needs THREE magnets on their fridge reminding them of your upcoming wedding. 
    Agreed. That would almost seem AWish. Like "PLASTER MY WEDDING ALL OVER YOUR LIFE SO YOU DON'T FORGET"
    That's exactly how I felt about it- just wanted to make sure I was doing things by the etiquette book!
  • I am about to send our StDs and sent one per household as described above.  The only exception is I sent individual ones to those adults in the wedding party, even if in the same household, save couples (e.g., mother is BM, child is Usher).  However, mine are not magnets nor pictures, but cards. I also included a little handwritten note.  Not sure if I needed to, but I wanted to make sure my honored guests each got a card/note.
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      Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • We have always received 1 per social unit from FH and or roommate's friend. I have 6 STDs on my fridge right now for weddings we went to already or were invited to, and they are doubles. For us, friends never know if they should send one or two, so most opt for 2. Though we did get a Christmas card last year addressed to all in alphabetical order by last name.

    I think for us we will send the STDs on a case by case sitution, only because writing 10+ names on one STD seems excessive. I say that because FH has one uncle who owns his house and he has 3 kids, and FH's aunt, her DH and 2 adult children plus their SOs and 4 or 5 kids between them also live there, so that is about 14/15 people at one house! But at the same time FH has 2 cousins in college who want all mail sent to their parent's house, but all 3(aunt & uncle and both cousins) will get their own STD since the cousins will take theirs to their own places.
    You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back. - Barbara DeAngelis
  • I don't see anything wrong with what you have planned.  I was also planning on doing it that way (especially because we have just over 100 Family/VIP's that we are definitly inviting and doing this will bring us down to 43 StD's.)
  • Where adult children are living at home we only sent one STDate to each household.  They'll get their own invitation from us of course, but ours are postcards and like PP said, I think it would have been AWish of us to send 3 photo postcards to the same address.
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