Wedding Etiquette Forum

unknown gift giver

We received one boxed gift at our wedding (a beautiful picture frame) but we don't know who it was from. IIRC there was a card on top but other cards got placed in the bag by the end of the night when we were packing up. I know which card was placed on top first, so going by that we have a slight idea who it may be based on the last card in the pile. The card contained a check, not a large sum, but a generous gift nonetheless. I'm wondering if someone would be more likely to give a smaller amount of money + a boxed gift, or if someone was more likely to give a boxed gift without a card (if my memory is wrong about seeing a card in the bag). Regardless, we would love to know who gave us this gift so we can thank them for it. Is it rude of us to ask our guests if they purchased it? A handful of guests didn't even give a card and I don't want to call attention to that by asking if they gave the frame. I'm lost as to what the right thing to do is :-/

After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!

Re: unknown gift giver

  • I would always give a card (or at least a tag) with a boxed gift.  As for cash/cheque and a boxed gift, I think it is usually one or the other or a small amount of money with a smaller cost boxed gift.  I don't know how to handle the situation though.  Depending on how close you are, maybe you could ask specific guests who you think might have given it.  Just explain the situation and ask.
    image
  • I have given a check with a boxed gift when it was a very small boxed gift.  I happened to come across a Christmas ornament I knew the bride would love a few days before the wedding and I couldn't pass it by.

    Maybe mention it to your families and some friends and that could get it working through the grapevine with your guests.  

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • we had that happen but in our case the wrong card got attached to the gift-- so we thanked the wrong person for the gift!  The people who gave the gift also gave a card with a check so we ended up thanking them for the $$ only. We see them regularly so next time they saw us they just asked us if we got the gift as well, and we said YES! and explained what happened.  We then called my husbands brother (his card got attached to the gift) and told him what happened. We all laughed about it, no harm no foul.  We were surprised husbands brother got us 2 gifts and money, lol, so it all made sense at the end.

    So either ask around family/friends, they may know/saw who brought that gift or try to do process of elimination if you think you know.  Eventually someone will mention if you received the gift and you will have a good explanation of why the TY was late. 
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    Anniversary
  • I would go down the list and eliminate anyone who you are certain did not get you the picture frame, then I would bring it up with the people who you think would know such as family memebrs.  Once the word gets out you will find out.
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