+1 Etiquette

Re: +1 Etiquette

• phira member

  

  November 2013

  Significant other (SO): You want to invite Casey and they are in a relationship (doesn't matter how serious). You must invite their SO. When you address the invitation, you address it to "Casey and SO." If Casey breaks up with their SO, they can't just bring a random date (SO was invited by name, and the invitation is non-transferrable).

  
  

  Plus one (+1): You want to invite Casey, who is single. You do not have to let Casey bring a date. Either address the invitation to "Casey" alone, or, if you want to let them bring a guest, "Casey and Guest." Casey can bring whoever they'd like to bring.

  
  

  This is all at the time of the invitation (about 2 months before the wedding). So if Casey starts dating someone 3 months before the wedding, then invite Casey with their new significant other.

  
  

  You don't get to be the judge of whose relationship is serious enough. At the same time, though, it's a little less stressful: you don't HAVE to make that call.

  

  now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
  
  

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• PrettyGirlLost member

  

  November 2013

  ginger2431 said:

  I am a little curious as to how plus ones work, and who you are obligated to extend them to.  I understand that obviously friends who are engaged, married, or in long term (or otherwise serious) relationships obviously have their SO invited  Yes, but what about friends who are constantly in and out of relationships?  You don't need to extend a +1 to truly single guests.  One of my close friends assumes she's getting a plus one, but the trouble is, she has had three "boyfriends" in the past three months.  I don't want to make her feel as though her SO doesn't deem an invitation  Then be sure to give her SO an invite if she still has an SO at the time you mail invitations, but our mutual friends (who are single) are now thinking (and have voiced) that they will also be extended plus ones because they might get a boyfriend at some point prior to the wedding.  If they are single at the time you send out invitations, you do not need to give them a +1.  I clearly don't want to exclude the SO of someone who is in a committed relationship, but at what point do you determine the relationship serious enough You don't.  You don't ever judge a relationship.  If a person is in a relationship then their SO should be invited by name. that you know you won't have paid for a slot that no one will take?  Please feel free to take me to the cleaners if I'm out of line in asking this question, but I've only ever been to one wedding, so I don't know the rules for invites and the like.  Any advice would be greatly appreciated.  Thanks!

  SO invites and +1 invites are two different things. 
  
  If a guest is in a relationship at the time you send out invitations, their SO should be invited by name.  You are not required by etiquette to extend a +1 to single guests, that is totally your prerogative if you wish to do so.
  

  
  "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
  
  

  
  

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• HisGirlFriday13 member

  

  November 2013

  Ditto @phira, who is spot-on. Also, once you send out STDates, anyone who starts a relationship is not allowed to demand their SO be invited under the SO rule. It's 'in a relationship' at the time the invites are mailed, 6-8 weeks in advance.

  

  
  

  
  

  I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'

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• ashleyep member

  

  November 2013

  HisGirlFriday13 said:

  Ditto @phira, who is spot-on. Also, once you send out STDates, anyone who starts a relationship is not allowed to demand their SO be invited under the SO rule. It's 'in a relationship' at the time the invites are mailed, 6-8 weeks in advance.

  Wait, what? I'm somehow confused about what you're saying here. 

  

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• phira member

  

  November 2013

  @ashleyep I think she means once you send the INVITATIONS out.

  

  now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
  
  

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• ashleyep member

  

  November 2013 edited November 2013

  phira said:

  @ashleyep I think she means once you send the INVITATIONS out.

  Oh okay. I wasn't sure if I was somehow misinterpreting it. It would be pretty sweet if we didn't have to extend invitations to SOs if they started dating after STDs go out though.

  

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• annathy03 member

  

  November 2013

  Ditto PPs, if they aren't dating when invitations go out, they don't have to be invited.

  
  

  Also if you would want to, the only acceptable "b-listing" is if you get enough declines to allow all single guests to bring a date, you can extend a +1 invitation verbally to your single guests.  Since they aren't named guests they were never on a b list, which is why the exception holds muster.

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