XP: Which (food) option would you like best as a guest?

misssunshine17 · November 2013

Good for you for not getting huffy. It sounds like you really are trying to make it the best you can. However, I would really suggest going back to the drawing board for a reception venue (if you're not locked in) to see if you can close the gap.

Are you doing a first look? I would highly suggest it since people are going to be waiting around long enough.

PrettyGirlLost · November 2013

misssunshine17 said:

Good for you for not getting huffy. It sounds like you really are trying to make it the best you can. However, I would really suggest going back to the drawing board for a reception venue (if you're not locked in) to see if you can close the gap.

Are you doing a first look? I would highly suggest it since people are going to be waiting around long enough.

I think this is a great idea.

csuave · November 2013

CallaLily25 said:

Another idea that my planner suggested was having an open tab at the bar for hotel guests AND having an open tab for the guests who aren't staying at the hotel at a bar and grille directly across the street from the reception venue.

As a guest faced with a gap this would be the option I vote for. When waiting out gaps top options for my circle are usually either bar or coffee shop.

tabathafaye · November 2013

phira said:

Honestly, this whole thing sounds like a mess. I'm sorry I can't be more helpful.

I think you need to tell your mom and aunt that you don't think that all of the guests should have to stick around for the formal exit.

Or, you know, have the receiving line at the reception where you're receiving your guests. Isn't that how it's supposed to work?

I thought "grand exits" were for after the reception.

PrettyGirlLost · November 2013

tabathafaye said:

phira said:

Honestly, this whole thing sounds like a mess. I'm sorry I can't be more helpful.

I think you need to tell your mom and aunt that you don't think that all of the guests should have to stick around for the formal exit.

Or, you know, have the receiving line at the reception where you're receiving your guests. Isn't that how it's supposed to work?

I thought "grand exits" were for after the reception.

I have only ever seen one once, and it was at the reception. It confused the majority of guests and most people ended up leaving, despite there being 1.5hrs left of the reception. . . open bar and everything. My mother told me they were more common a few decades ago when the B&G left to go on their honeymoon directly from the reception.

banana468 · November 2013

Several of DH's cousins have done grand exits from the reception but it's clearly the end of the event when they're done.

We went to one wedding with a grand exit from the church. It was 17 degrees and the MOB wanted us to throw birdseed at the couple once the receiving line was over and they exited the church. All the guests were audibly irritated at having to wait in the cold. I think DH just threw his unwrapped sachet at the groom's head.

CallaLily25 · November 2013

banana468 said:

Several of DH's cousins have done grand exits from the reception but it's clearly the end of the event when they're done. We went to one wedding with a grand exit from the church. It was 17 degrees and the MOB wanted us to throw birdseed at the couple once the receiving line was over and they exited the church. All the guests were audibly irritated at having to wait in the cold. I think DH just threw his unwrapped sachet at the groom's head.

hahaha! Yes, the "exit" I was referring to was after the receiving line...i.e. birdseed, bells, ribbons, etc. The two weddings I have been to didn't have these exits from the church and the guests did not seem to miss it, but my parents are very traditional and wanted me to do one. After hearing feedback from this board, I really don't feel comfortable having my guests wait until the entire receiving line is done to leave. It will be November so who knows how cold it will be or if it will be raining. I think I'll feel more comfortable letting guests choose what they'd like to do...if that's leave, fine, if that's stay and chat with other family and friends, that's fine too.

daveANDkristen · November 2013

misssunshine17 said:

CallaLily25 said:

Maggie0829 said:

Even with 200 guests I do not see the receiving line taking 45 minutes. And like others have said the people out of the church first will be on the road a lot sooner then those leaving the church last. You should move the cocktail hour to 5pm.
I thought the same thing until my mom insisted that guests wait until the receiving line is completely done (even if they're first in line) to do the formal exit of the bride and groom (bubbles, bells, etc). I've only been to two weddings (without receiving lines), so I'm really not sure how this typically works. I only have the opinions of my mom and aunts who say "that's how weddings are done here (New Jersey)."
That sounds completely awful and as a guest, I would be super pissed to have to sit around for your to have a grand exit like you're some sort of royalty.

I (sort of) disagree. Unless they are making an announcement that there will be a "grand exit", wouldn't people just leave after going through the receiving line if they want to? I don't think anyone would feel pressured to stick around unless someone went out of there way to tell the guests to stay.

@CallaLily25 how about hosting refreshments at the church from the end of the ceremony until 5:00/5:10, basically in place of cocktail hour. Arrive at the reception venue at 5:30 and just begin the reception right away. Entrance, toasts, whatever you are doing, and dinner served at 6 or 6:30.

PrettyGirlLost · November 2013

CallaLily25 said:

banana468 said:

Several of DH's cousins have done grand exits from the reception but it's clearly the end of the event when they're done. We went to one wedding with a grand exit from the church. It was 17 degrees and the MOB wanted us to throw birdseed at the couple once the receiving line was over and they exited the church. All the guests were audibly irritated at having to wait in the cold. I think DH just threw his unwrapped sachet at the groom's head.

hahaha! Yes, the "exit" I was referring to was after the receiving line...i.e. birdseed, bells, ribbons, etc. The two weddings I have been to didn't have these exits from the church and the guests did not seem to miss it, but my parents are very traditional and wanted me to do one. After hearing feedback from this board, I really don't feel comfortable having my guests wait until the entire receiving line is done to leave. It will be November so who knows how cold it will be or if it will be raining. I think I'll feel more comfortable letting guests choose what they'd like to do...if that's leave, fine, if that's stay and chat with other family and friends, that's fine too.

Why not do that exit at the end of your reception, then?

phira · November 2013

I've seen some grand exits from churches (in photographs--I've never been to a church wedding myself), so I assumed it was for either the ceremony or reception.

annathy03 · November 2013

I've seen two grand exits IRL, one from a catholic church after a full mass ceremony, the ushers handed out bubbles so we all knew to stick around, but there was no receiving line so we were only waiting a few minutes for everyone to get outside. The second was the end of a reception, they had us make a tunnel from the hotel ballroom towards the elevator to send off the B&G. I hated that, everyone including their parents blowing bubbles, waving ribbon wands and cheering them basically to go consummate struck me as creepy. I mean, we all knew the B&G were going to go do that, but I really disliked the production of it.

As far as the gap, if you can't get out of your venues I like hosting a tab at both the hotel and the bar across from the reception venue. It's a bit confusing since it's another place to go, but given the time restraints of your venues that seems like the best option. I'd treat that as the cocktail hour though and go straight into your entrance and first dance and such at the reception.

PrettyGirlLost · November 2013

annathy03 said:

I've seen two grand exits IRL, one from a catholic church after a full mass ceremony, the ushers handed out bubbles so we all knew to stick around, but there was no receiving line so we were only waiting a few minutes for everyone to get outside. The second was the end of a reception, they had us make a tunnel from the hotel ballroom towards the elevator to send off the B&G. I hated that, everyone including their parents blowing bubbles, waving ribbon wands and cheering them basically to go consummate struck me as creepy. I mean, we all knew the B&G were going to go do that, but I really disliked the production of it.

As far as the gap, if you can't get out of your venues I like hosting a tab at both the hotel and the bar across from the reception venue. It's a bit confusing since it's another place to go, but given the time restraints of your venues that seems like the best option. I'd treat that as the cocktail hour though and go straight into your entrance and first dance and such at the reception.

Exactly! For that very reason I don't have any desire to get it on the night of my wedding. . . I'd prefer to take a big old bubble bath and open any gifts, if I get any :-P We'll see what actually happens.

melbelleup · November 2013

We're doing both the receiving line at the church and bubbles after the receiving line as an "exit". My SIL and brother did them both at their wedding. It was a lot of fun. It's actually done a lot in my circle though so people usually know to hang around. My cousin also had one in his October '12 wedding.

ETA: I really like the food truck idea. It's unique and fun! No one will be boozie driving to the reception place then.

beachek · November 2013

my friend did a church wedding and had a receiving line at the end. it was fine, every one stuck around, went through the line, and then they did a 'grand' exit with bubbles. it was also November and kind of cold. people will be fine.

annathy03 · November 2013

PrettyGirlLost said: annathy03 said: I've seen two grand exits IRL, one from a catholic church after a full mass ceremony, the ushers handed out bubbles so we all knew to stick around, but there was no receiving line so we were only waiting a few minutes for everyone to get outside. The second was the end of a reception, they had us make a tunnel from the hotel ballroom towards the elevator to send off the B&G. I hated that, everyone including their parents blowing bubbles, waving ribbon wands and cheering them basically to go consummate struck me as creepy. I mean, we all knew the B&G were going to go do that, but I really disliked the production of it.
As far as the gap, if you can't get out of your venues I like hosting a tab at both the hotel and the bar across from the reception venue. It's a bit confusing since it's another place to go, but given the time restraints of your venues that seems like the best option. I'd treat that as the cocktail hour though and go straight into your entrance and first dance and such at the reception. Exactly! For that very reason I don't have any desire to get it on the night of my wedding. . . I'd prefer to take a big old bubble bath and open any gifts, if I get any :-P We'll see what actually happens.
************************************************************************************************
Yeah, this was right after college and they'd waited (at least as far as all of us knew), so that was definitely on the to-do list that night, which I get and haven't had a second thought about at any other wedding I've attended. It just weirded me out to make a spectacle of it.

Now, grand exits right after the ceremony I'm fine with, everyone is headed to photos or cocktail hour. Honestly if they were headed to an after party, or to a getaway car, it probably wouldn't have had that affect, it was that we were literally making a tunnel to the elevator in their hotel. Strange.

ETA: Quote box problems.

XP: Which (food) option would you like best as a guest?

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