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Re: .

• QueerFemme member

  

  November 2013 edited November 2013

  kriswoodten said:

  Hey guys.

  I know this may sound like a rude thing to do, but has anyone ever heard of inviting people to the reception only? Because of the location I can only have around 100 guests in the chapel for the ceremony, however, the reception area will allow closer to 200. Is this an unheard of thing to do? I don't want to be rude.

  Thanks! 

  Well, I know you don't want to be rude, but that plan is rude.  The wedding is one big event. Not a "you are important enough to actually see me get married, but you are only important enough to bring me a gift".

  Either find a new venue that can accomodate all 200 people you want to invite to the WHOLE event, or only invite the 100 that will fit in your ceremony venue.

  The only possible way around this, is to have a truly private ceremony, and a larger reception.  Private ceremony means immediate family and maybe a best friend.  No cousins, no next door neighbors. No favorite coworker.  Immediate family, and it needs to be around 15-25 people, tops.  Any more than that, and you are having a tiered event, and that's rude. 

  Think of it this way. How would you feel to be person #101, and know that you didn't quite make the cut of being important enough to be invited to witness the ceremony?  it's crappy

  

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  http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
  

  http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
  

  http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/
  

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• PrettyGirlLost member

  

  November 2013

  kriswoodten said:

  Hey guys.

  I know this may sound like a rude thing to do, Yep it sure is but has anyone ever heard of inviting people to the reception only? Yes, and it's very rude.  Because of the location I can only have around 100 guests in the chapel for the ceremony, Then only invite 100 people to your ce4emony AND reception, or find another ceremony venue however, the reception area will allow closer to 200. Is this an unheard of thing to do? Yes, don't do it.  I don't want to be rude.  Then don't so it.
  

  Thanks! 

  You have two options:
  
  1. Book this ceremony venue and keep your guest list at a maximum of 100 people.  Invite those people to both the ceremony and reception.
  2. Find a different ceremony venue that can accommodate your entire guest list.
  

  
  "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
  
  

  
  

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• JoanE2012 member

  

  November 2013

  kriswoodten said:

  Hey guys.

  I know this may sound like a rude thing to do, but has anyone ever heard of inviting people to the reception only? Because of the location I can only have around 100 guests in the chapel for the ceremony, however, the reception area will allow closer to 200. Is this an unheard of thing to do? I don't want to be rude.

  Thanks! 

  It's completely rude.  The people you invite to the ceremony must be invited to the reception (unless it's a truly private ceremony).  Kudos to you for asking before doing.  I hope you take our advice.

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• MyNameIsNot member

  

  November 2013

  You've reached one of the many times in wedding planning where you have to make a decision.  Which is more important to you?  The ceremony people or guests 101-200?  Either choice is ok, but you have to pick one or the other.

  
  

  As PP mentioned, you can go with a truly private ceremony (15-20 very close guests), but you should be weary that even though this isn't rude, it may result in some hurt feelings.  Would your aunt or cousin be hurt to not be invited to watch you exchange your vows?  Mine sure would.  

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• Fran1985 member

  

  November 2013

  It is great you are asking before doing- your instincts are right, it is rude and its going to hurt a lot of feelings if you do this. Agree with PP, either keep the invite list under 100, or find a different ceremony location.
  

  
  
  

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• Jen4948 member

  

  November 2013

  It's not a good idea to invite twice as many people to the reception as the ceremony. 
  
  If you are not inviting someone to the underlying occasion for the reception, it doesn't make sense to invite them to be "received" afterward-not to mention that it is very rude.
  
  Either cut your guest list back to 100 people or choose a ceremony venue that can hold 200 people. But you can't politely have this both ways.
  

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• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  November 2013

  Yep - you are correct. It is rude. The only way to make that work is if you had an intimate (REALLY intimate - like immediate family only) ceremony and then everyone else was invited to the reception. The only way this works is if it's like 10-15 people at the ceremony and then invite your 200 guests to the reception. Splitting it 50/50 is really rude. If I were you, I would:

  
  

  1) Find a new ceremony venue if you want to have 200 guests - one that can accommodate everyone.

  2) Keep your ceremony venue and only invite the ceremony guests to the reception. 

  3) Have a super intimate ceremony (10-15 people) at your current ceremony venue and invite all 200 guests to your reception. 

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