Dear youngest sister,
I'm sorry you had to break up with your boyfriend (again), however I'm concerned that you're still "in a relationship" with him on FB when last time you broke up with him you changed that within an hour. Please, please, PLEASE do not let this mean you are back together already! The guy is a dope and doesn't make you happy, so why, WHY would you stay with him??? Okay - I'm going to tell myself that you're just trying not to hurt his feelings anymore right now and that you'll get around to changing your relationship status later. If you don't, and you're already back together, I'm going to verbally slap you later - that's a promise.
Love,
Your sister who you only call when you're crying
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Dear BF,
Unexpected and unwarranted compliments are the best. You make me feel so good about myself. Keep it up.
Love,
Goobs
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Dear middle sister,
I love you, and I appreciate you filling me in on what happened with little sis and her BF, but I can't take you seriously when you talk about your last BF. You said "It sucks knowing you need to end a relationship and you feel so guilty and responsible for someone's unhappiness." Well, yes - you were cheating on your boyfriend of 3 years with his friend, and you told him via Skype when he was out of the country, thus ruining his trip. Just saying - probably not the best way to handle things, which is why you feel bad about it. Mystery solved.
Love,
Older, wiser, sister
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Dear
@buddysmom80 and
@swazzle,
I have to say, I was SO nervous when I was heading out to meet you. i was worried it would be awkward, you wouldn't like me at all, etc. However, the minute I arrived at the restaurant, I started relaxing because you guys were so friendly and fun. I had such a great time drinking with you and cannot wait to do it again!!!
-Hummingbird