• Images
  • Text
  • Find a Couple + Registry
GO
November 2013 Weddings

UGH!

So I get home from work tonight and check my email to find a message from my mom's cousin. "Just wanted to confirm that your wedding date was the 16th, I'm thinking about coming out for it, flutterfly's parents do you have space for me to stay with you, or should I ask flutterfly's uncles?".

Really, it's less than 4 weeks away, you think you would've gotten an invite by now if you were invited. But it's just one more, so we'll find the space to squeeze him in. I'd rather that than create family drama, and hurt feelings (can you tell how much I hate confrontation?)

 

 Wedding Countdown Ticker:)

 





Re: UGH!

  • You need to do what is best for you, not to worry about insulting people.  If I was worried about that, then I would have crying babies at the wedding, and that is a big NO.
  • I would be annoyed to!  We had a cousin who decided to invite 2 guests. We just let him do it because we do know the 2 people and we have several NO RSVPs. 
  • That is so annoying! I'm sorry. Just remember to do what's best for you!
    Carly

    First month TTCing #2 7/12

    m/c 10/2004, m/c 7/2005, pregnant with my daughter after 6 months of clomid 8/06, loss of her twin 11/06, m/c 1/09, m/c 2/13

    [IMG]http://i45.tinypic.com/axla9z.jpg[/IMG]
  • We had a similar situation in that my FI's aunt and uncle couldn't attend our DW, but they wrote in their son (FI's cousin) and his girlfriend instead. Good times. Turns out, only the cousin will be coming, but we're letting him since he has a flight booked. But gah!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • way past annoyed is how i will feel that that is good you are going to squeeze him in 

    Daisypath - (PNE7)
  • So just got another, "sorry to do this to you, but would you mind if we brought along 26 yr old daughter?" And it's still 3 weeks to the wedding, don't know how much more we can take!

     

     Wedding Countdown Ticker:)

     





  • That's extremely rude! Seating charts are most likely done, and you have to find room and you have to shell out more money. When people asked it wasn't hard for me to say no. We are paying for this ourselves and we don't have another 200 to pay for some random person you decide you want to bring or a distant cousin I never see. Sorry, no can do. I know that sounds harsh but need to cut it somewhere.. Besides you let one and it seems to spread quick.
    WedReMix13
  • bjnoel said:
    That's extremely rude! Seating charts are most likely done, and you have to find room and you have to shell out more money. When people asked it wasn't hard for me to say no. We are paying for this ourselves and we don't have another 200 to pay for some random person you decide you want to bring or a distant cousin I never see. Sorry, no can do. I know that sounds harsh but need to cut it somewhere.. Besides you let one and it seems to spread quick.
    this.. I agree...i dont feel bad saying no any more

    Daisypath - (PNE7)
  • bjnoel said:
    That's extremely rude! Seating charts are most likely done, and you have to find room and you have to shell out more money. When people asked it wasn't hard for me to say no. We are paying for this ourselves and we don't have another 200 to pay for some random person you decide you want to bring or a distant cousin I never see. Sorry, no can do. I know that sounds harsh but need to cut it somewhere.. Besides you let one and it seems to spread quick.
    This exactly.   At $130 per person, plus another 26% for tax and gratuity, I would have no problem telling someone no.  Do people just not get how expensive it is to throw a wedding and financial position in can put people in to do that to them?  FI has a couple of buddies who keep trying to give him info on where and when ours is.  I'm pretty sure if they found out, they'd just show up, uninvited.
    WedReMix13
  • WonderRedWonderRed member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited October 2013
    *knot fart*
  • I hope nobody else tries to add guests for us at this point!
  • flutterfly88flutterfly88 member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited October 2013

    I agree, if anyone else asks I will have to have the courage to say no, if anyone else comes people will be sitting on each other's laps! Or as my FI says, they can always climb a ladder and watch through the window!

    ETA for forgotten words!

     

     Wedding Countdown Ticker:)

     





    WedReMix13
  • Update, now my mom's cousin isn't coming, his wife is sick, so he is staying home, but he didn't email me that info, he emailed my uncle to tell him. So uncle emails me and passes on the message, and also asks, if anyone cancels can my friend come? I will pay for her plate. This is a lady who I don't particularly like, and had already told my uncle she wasn't invited. At least this one I will be able to keep my resolve, and say no. The church is full, and if a few people end up not being able to make it, it just means that there is a little more elbow room for those who can :)

     

     Wedding Countdown Ticker:)

     





  • We were still adding guests as of Wednesday.  I feel your pain.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker 
      Visit The Knot!
  • Just need to vent. I am just the long-suffering mom who has done 3 weddings in 5 years with my baby getting married November 23.  Our invites were totally and completely clear but few of the grooms friends understand the rule about what name is written on the inner envelope. I have made the groom tell several people they can't bring their brand new girlfriends.
    Three week ago our reception venue was closed after a fire.  We got moved to a new space that will be fine.  Then a groomsman got called up to the Marines. Got that worked out.  
    Now I have a friend of mine, who certainly knows better, bringing her boyfriend who we do not know and did not invite.  I have just had it.  I feel like I should tell her she can't bring him, but she is just sweet and dumb, not manipulative. Of course most of the groom's step and half siblings as well as my husband's sister who has 6 kids, have not bothered to reply.  Third wedding they did this for.  Bridal showers, whatever, never hear. She just had 2 girls get married and we promptly RSVP, sent gifts (even though one said "send money!)

    My advice to everyone is to have a cake and punch reception at the church or venue. Invite them in the church bulletin or on Facebook.  This lovely new world of "there are no rules for weddings" sucks! So glad I am DONE!
  • @TJNoack - I'm sure it will all work out for your daughter's wedding. 

    I would argue that there are still LOTS of etiquette rules for weddings. Unfortunately, most people don't seem to follow them (confusing etiquette and tradition as the same thing). 

    We had a whole mess of people who still haven't responded for my 11/24 wedding so I had my mom and Fiance's mom call all their family/friends to make sure they're definitely not coming. Can your daughter's future mother in law call the groom's family members (or get the groom to do it himself?!) 

    But, in regards to etiquette and your friend - anyone with a significant other at the time of the invitations (whether you've met them or not) should be invited with their SO (by name), since they're considered a social unit. You're both in the wrong here (you should have invited this person if they were dating when you sent invites, she should not have asked to simply bring a guest), and since, like you said, she's not being manipulative, I would add her boyfriend. 

    Regarding the groom's friends - similarly,  if they were single at the time and the bride + groom didn't extend them plus ones, they don't get to bring dates. HOWEVER - if there's room in the budget/, extending them a plus one probably won't hurt anything and will just add to happy day.  
    [Deleted User]
  • To add to all these "UGH!s" - I emailed my FI's older BROTHER since we STILL haven't gotten his RSVP yet. 

    He lives several states away, so at this point we're assuming he's not coming, but he is a 41 (almost 42) year old adult who should know how to RSVP for stuff by now. 


This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards