this is the code for the render ad
Wedding Party

Bridesmaid vs the Dress

I need some advice.

A little background - i'm getting married in April and my wedding party consists of six. My MOH, my best friend, two cousins and two FSIL's. One of my FSIL's recent got married this past August and I was in her wedding as well. Since July 2012 when she officially picked the date for her wedding it was all about her wedding - which was fine. We had many many many issues between us during that time frame which i'll spare the details aside from one important instance. April of this year I took my girls (including my SIL's) to start looking at bridesmaids dresses to begin getting ideas. Five months before her wedding. Everyone was having a good time - until I found out afterwards that she was telling everyone I was a total b**ch for making her do that when I should be focusing on her big day.

At the beginning of August (three weeks before her wedding) the other girls in my bridal party asked me if they could go again. They wanted to pick the dress and have time to save up money for it. So, to avoid another bout from my SIL that im a stuck up horrible bridesmaid - I didn't tell her and we went. Was it wrong to not include her? Yes. But again - I was tired of being accused repeatedly of trying to upstage her event by planning my wedding before hers was over.

My MOH, and three other bridesmaids picked a dress they loved and all paid for it on the spot. The dress boutique we purchased from said we needed to have the dresses ordered by November to have the arrive in time for the wedding. Plus, it gave my girls two months to save up money to pay for the dress. i let them pick the dress, I chose the color.

Now my SIL is telling me that she is worried she wont feel comfortable in the dress and doesn't want to look bad for pictures since it's her brothers wedding. She says she'll wear the dress i picked - but would prefer me to change it and that I should have waited for her to be free after her honeymoon to look for dresses.

I tried explaining to her that the other girls already purchased the dress and that we picked dresses that are specifically designed for different body types... and that while I know they're strapless I am more than happy to have who ever would like to add straps / a shawl / a shoulder shrug ect ect ect.

I don't want to start a fight, but I also don't want all my girls to wear the same dress - except for her.

How do i solve this?

Re: Bridesmaid vs the Dress

  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited November 2013
    It is OK for the bride to pick a specific dress for the BMs, provided the bride has consulted all the BMs privately prior to picking the dress about their budget.

    Did you consult on budget? Is the dress in her budget? If so, it is fine to tell her this is the dress you have picked. 

    I can respect that a bride should make sure all your BMs are comfortable in the pick. I can also respect that you should check with the schedules of your BMs before picking dresses... but you can't wait for her forever. Though August is still a fair ways away from April. 

    So while I think in hindsight you should have a) waited until after her honeymoon, b) let her know you were going to look again in August and at least offer her the chance to come, at the end of the day if the dress is in budget you have the right to pick it. 
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards