Thank you all very much for your time and care in posting. FI and I were dealing with a very large guest list, and we were about to do a B-list. Then we came here. We figured it was ok to do, as long as no one found out. We hadn't really thought of this as a big deal, but after reading posts it definitely seems the not right thing to do. So we cut back in other areas, trimmed the list, and now we're cooking with crisco. It feels great to know we're doing the right thing, and we'll be celebrating the day with the people we want. It didn't occur to us that people might feel like we were "gift grabbing." That's not us, and we're really glad to have dodged the bullet. So please, keep posting. This is just the start of many potential gaffes, and we need your help.