DEAR E. JEAN: An attractive 20-year-old girl asked my husband if he
would father a child for her. She’s the girlfriend of my husband’s
51-year-old brother, who is unable to have children.
I’ve always
wanted children. My husband has consistently refused, saying he doesn’t
"want the responsibility of raising, caring, and paying for kids." But
now, as he’s hit midlife, he’s decided he wants progeny. Of course, as
I’ve already entered menopause, I no longer have the option of changing
my mind. I told him that if he went ahead with it, I would consider it
the worst betrayal a man could make. I begged him not to do it. He and
the girlfriend meanwhile were sending sexy texts back and forth. He
went. He had sex with the girlfriend—twice (that he admits to)—and, sure
enough, impregnated her.
Now the child, a boy, is seven months old.
He’s very cute. What on earth can I do? Any time I allow myself to think
about it, I get upset. Do I leave? Divorce? Just accept it?
—She Has the Child I Wanted