Wedding Etiquette Forum

Would this have offended you?

One of my best friends relayed this story to me on Friday. She attended a wedding of a girl we both know - she's much closer to her; I wasn't invited. She said that Julie seemed pretty agitated for most of the reception. She didn't go around and talk to her guests. She spent most of the time dancing or talking to her bridesmaids. At the end of the night, my friend and her boyfriend were leaving and went up to Julie to say goodbye. She was talking to her MOH, so my friend waited politely until she was done. Julie then turned to my friend and said, "Are we goodbying? Because I'm in goodbying mode."  

My friend's boyfriend says we should cut Julie some slack - it was a long day, she had a lot going on and he doesn't think she meant it rudely. 
My friend and I think it was extremely rude. My friend is actually so upset, she doesn't know if she wants to continue being friends with Julie. I just don't understand why should couldn't have been gracious to my friend and thanked her for coming. 

Also, I had another friend that attended this wedding too. Both of my friends said it was one of the worst weddings they've been to. The bride was seemingly in a bad mood for most of the reception. She didn't seem to talk to any of her guests. And they didn't play any good music to dance to (Saturday night wedding in NY - people are going to expect to dance!). They said the wedding seemed to only reflect the groom and his very large Italian family - that Julie was seemingly "lost" in any kind of representation. Sad, right? 

Re: Would this have offended you?

  • I think she was rude...especially if the goodbye was the only interaction with the bride. I'd be thinking "Holy crap, what's her problem?" I'd be wondering about the underlying cause there.

    If I was close enough, I would maybe ask her about it in the next few weeks. If I wasn't, I'd roll my eyes and move along. 
    image
  • She's not normally like that but my friend said that leading up to the wedding, Julie was pretty rude on several occasions. I know there are other reasons she's not sure if she wants to continue being friends with her - it wasn't just what she said at the wedding. 
  • I would be put off by it, but I wouldn't hold a grudge about it. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • Well, it is ungracious and off-putting, but it makes me wonder what might have been going on with her behind the scenes.  For example, was she getting pressured, say by parents, to agree to do things she didn't really want to do because they were paying and she felt unable to say no for whatever reason?  Could she have had a medical problem or work-related problem that was stressing her out?

    Not that any of these things would excuse her poor behavior, but they might explain it.
  • I personally think she was forced into this big wedding that she didn't want because of her FI's family. But it doesn't excuse being rude, IMO. If two friends separately told me how ungracious she acted, it had to be noticeable by a lot of other people too. 
  • Maybe she was just upset about having the wedding she didn't want and it got the best of her.  Something like that is going to wear on a bride in the weeks prior to the wedding.  Maybe that is why she has been acting rude.  I would see how things go now that the wedding is over rather than toss the friendship.
  • It wouldn't be a reason for me to end a friendship, but I would definitely be put off and annoyed. I'd also be really curious/concerned as to why she seemed agitated on a day that should have been one of the happiest of her life. I'd probably make it a point to go out to lunch or something to see how she was doing and see if she would mention anything about how she was feeling the day of the wedding.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • PDKH said:
    I think she was rude...especially if the goodbye was the only interaction with the bride. I'd be thinking "Holy crap, what's her problem?" I'd be wondering about the underlying cause there.

    If I was close enough, I would maybe ask her about it in the next few weeks. If I wasn't, I'd roll my eyes and move along. 
    I'm in this camp. I would be way more put off by the fact that she was greeting her guests at all. 
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards