Assigned Seating vs. Sit Where You Want

Jen4948 · November 2013

StephFC07 said:

KatWAG said:

StephFC07 said:

I've seen a sign on pintrest that says "As two families are becoming one, we ask that you choose a seat, not a side." I've seen another one that says "Come as you are, Stay as long as you can, We're all family, so no seating plan." I love these two sentiments, and the idea of the money saving for the escort cards and such. Since my wedding really will be mostly family or mutual friends I don't think there's anything wrong with seat yourself.

Another pinterest victim. Not everything needs a cutesy sign. Some things you can just figure out on your own.

I didn't say I was going to use a "cutesy" sign or that everything needs it, simply that I appreciate the sentiment. Frankly, I'm completely overwhelmed with the concept of wedding planning and I'm trying to draw inspiration. I've tried asking for help and advice and it just makes it harder. I'm not used to trying to do something that directs the attention to myself, as I'm the older sister of triplets with autism. I'm so glad you think I can't figure things out on my own though. I guess you're kind of right.

It's perfectly normal and reasonable that you feel overwhelmed, especially with three autistic siblings, when trying to plan a wedding. Most people, even without the autistic siblings, probably feel like that. At some point in the process, just about everyone, even in the best of circumstances, feels like that and needs to ask for help.

But I think that what @KatWAG is saying is that Pinterest is not always a good source of inspiration, and that being "cutesy" isn't necessarily the best way to go because people do find it off-putting, and that makes "cutesiness" counterproductive. This is not to say that humor is always inappropriate, because of course it's not! It's just that for many people, expressing the sentiment in a more dignified manner, without signs or "funny" expressions, does a much better job of getting the message across.

sktsosie · November 2013

I think it depends on what you want. I am very anti-seating chart. I am a full time graduate student and so pinching pennies literally means I need every penny I have. I also need every spare minute I can get for school work. We are also doing an eco friendly wedding so extra paper is always avoided (no programs, no response cards, no escort cards, etc). We also don't have many big families (other than ours) that are coming. So we have reserved family tables, our table, and the rest is open seating. Also, since our venue is small, there are no extra chairs, they actually all have to find a seat and we expect our guests to be adult enough to do so. Since they are going to sit down after the cocktail hour, they probably won't be so scrambled to find a seat and place their stuff down before hitting the buffet. I'm all for no seating chart.

Jen4948 · November 2013

sktsosie said:

I think it depends on what you want. I am very anti-seating chart. I am a full time graduate student and so pinching pennies literally means I need every penny I have. I also need every spare minute I can get for school work. We are also doing an eco friendly wedding so extra paper is always avoided (no programs, no response cards, no escort cards, etc). We also don't have many big families (other than ours) that are coming. So we have reserved family tables, our table, and the rest is open seating. Also, since our venue is small, there are no extra chairs, they actually all have to find a seat and we expect our guests to be adult enough to do so. Since they are going to sit down after the cocktail hour, they probably won't be so scrambled to find a seat and place their stuff down before hitting the buffet. I'm all for no seating chart.

You can expect that, but a good host would plan for that not to happen and be ready to deal with it. What do you propose to do if your guests don't live up to your expectations?

aurorajanette · November 2013

sktsosie said:

I think it depends on what you want. I am very anti-seating chart. I am a full time graduate student and so pinching pennies literally means I need every penny I have. I also need every spare minute I can get for school work. We are also doing an eco friendly wedding so extra paper is always avoided (no programs, no response cards, no escort cards, etc). We also don't have many big families (other than ours) that are coming. So we have reserved family tables, our table, and the rest is open seating. Also, since our venue is small, there are no extra chairs, they actually all have to find a seat and we expect our guests to be adult enough to do so. Since they are going to sit down after the cocktail hour, they probably won't be so scrambled to find a seat and place their stuff down before hitting the buffet. I'm all for no seating chart.

I'm sorry, you're going to need to suck it up and either get a venue that allows more tables/chairs (or change your layout), or you need to make a seating chart. With no extra seats, this is going to add so much extra stress to your guests, and as a hostess you should not be causing stress to your guests.

I get the grad school thing... I'm also a full-time grad student, and work full-time, and guest lecture and sit on the board for my professional organization, and I'm planning a wedding... I get your time constraints, but I wouldn't use them as a reason to be a poor hostess. Not one of your guests is going to think, "oh poor sktsosie, she's in grad school, so of course she didn't have time to think about our comfort." Families are going to be split, people are going to be angry or stressed, and they're going to mentally blame you for it, because you didn't plan well.

Assigned Seating vs. Sit Where You Want

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