PMS

[Deleted User] · November 2013

as some of you know, I struggle with PMDD. this week is my toughest week of the month. I was talking with my H about it (I had a "hormonal surge" this morning and I've been coming down from it), just telling him how much I hate my hormones. it got me to thinking... what is normal PMS like for other women? what do you feel like? when does it start/stop? how does it affect your relationships (if at all?)

for me, with PMDD, I start to feel "off" about 7-10 days before my period. I don't sleep, so by the time I do get my period I could sleep for days. I'll experience extreme fatigue. for example, I LOVE to cook and bake, but some days I can't even make it to the kitchen after work to eat a few spoonfuls of PB. I'll have anxiety and panic attacks (although with my new BCP, I don't experience that as often as I used to). I'll feel depression so deep it reaches all the way to my bones. I'll have hormonal surges: anxiety or anger with physical symptoms like a racing heart and extremely high BP. I will feel so hungry that I could rip off my hand and eat it. I eat and eat and don't feel satisfied, just hungry hungry HUNGRY. and the cystic acne, oh my GOD. I used to get it so bad, but with the current BCP I might only get 1-3 spots and they aren't as deep as they used to be. I've found staying away from dairy and processed carbs 10-14 days before my period helps. I don't generally stay on the same BCP for more than 12-18 months because my symptoms will start to take over again, and it's like my body needs a reset of new hormones to get it manageable. I do suffer more in the winter than in the warmer months.

so tell me about your PMS... or are you one of those lucky ladies who don't experience it?

CLoGreenEyes · November 2013

*Sigh* I used to be one of the fortunate ones who never had PMS. Then I got on the BCP three-ish years ago and all that went to hell. I was confused because I thought the pill was generally supposed to make these things better, or at least not worse.

For me, it's usually a combination of moodiness, irritability, fatigue, and stomach upset in the 7-10 days before I get my period. Then the day or so before, I get horrible cramps that last for the next couple of days. All of it is miserable.

The physical symptoms I can handle, but I hate the way it affects my thoughts and feelings. I get so needlessly upset by everything that happens around me. I cry a lot and play the blame game without reason - really, isn't it enough to admit that I just don't feel good without getting upset with everyone around me? I usually have to basically disappear for several days (insomuch as I can, anyway) to avoid being mean to people. I tend to get really quiet because I'm constantly trying to keep a check on what I say. I think it's probably kind of stressful/weird to the people who are closest to me, because normally I'm a huge chatterbox and can always find something nice to say.

[Deleted User] · November 2013

@Amapola14 - I forgot to mention, I will get one day and one night of unbearable cramps. it is miserable!

I also have to sometimes disappear, though it's mainly because I'm in a heightened state of anxiety and can't handle being around people.

I haven't really told people IRL except a few close friends. I haven't really told my family much about it, except some to my mom. I'm scared that people will think I'm crazy!

my mom was diagnosed as bipolar, but my GYN did tell me that PMDD does seem to be somewhat hereditary and that many PMDD ladies were incorrectly diagnosed as bipolar a couple decades ago. my mom's "bipolar" has mostly disappeared since she's started the menopause phase of her life, which also leads me to believe her bipolar was actually PMDD.

I remember my dad screaming at her, "YOU'RE JUST BIPOLAR, COCO'S MOM! YOU'RE JUST BIPOLAR!" and being downright mean about it, so that's the main reason I can't bring myself to be open IRL about it.

labro · November 2013

I honestly had never heard of PMDD until some of you ladies on the boards mentioned having it. So I looked it up to see what it was all about. I'm sorry you have to go through all that!

PMS for me comes and goes. Some months I notice symptoms and other months I either don't have them or they are so slight I don't even notice they are there. I'm on BCP so that contributes to reducing my symptoms. I've been on the same prescription since I was 20...so 6 years now. No changes.

My symptoms, if I have any that month, usually go like this - 7 or 8 days prior to my period I'll experience a minor breakout (I had major acne as a teen so everything is minor in comparison). In the week prior to my period I might have some mood swings...either periods of extreme elation or moodiness...sometimes sadness. But when I get into these swings I usually know what is going on and do what I consciously can so I avoid lashing out at anyone. The two nights before my period I almost never sleep well at all. I dream a lot when I do get sleep, and those dreams are usually related to sex in some way (weird right?). Either way...I toss and turn a lot and generally feel exhausted the first few days of my period.

Before I got on BCP I noticed more acne the week before my period. I also experience A LOT of heavy cramping both before and during my period...so I always knew it was coming. I also had cravings and much bigger mood swings...although I still don't think I got as moody as I've seen other girls.

Swazzle · November 2013

I think I'm one of the lucky ladies that doesn't really experience this. I get slightly cranky-ish around the first few days of the month and I think this is the extent of my PMS. I also don't get a period.

[Deleted User] · November 2013

@lmhollister - my current BCP is high on estrogen, so it helps contribute to the acne problem. it does help a lot! and I'll have crazy, vivid dreams too. and night sweats. I'll sweat thru my PJs and the sheets. we go through a lot of linens for a week or two.

GoldenPenguin · November 2013

I have rarely, if ever, had PMS. Really, the only symptoms I have now, with an IUD, are sore boobs every few months. I do get irritable from time to time, but that could also be because I'm tired and/or hungry. Because I don't get a period at all, I don't even have any idea when I should be getting symptoms, so I wouldn't be able to tell if my irritability now & then had anything to do with my cycle or other factors.

Before Mirena, I was on the pill for years, and never really had any PMS then, either. Both my mom & sister had/have pretty terrible periods - debilitating cramps, extreme bleeding, etc., but I lucked out. I remember when I had my Mirena placed, I thought the cramps were SO BAD, but then I realized that they probably weren't any worse than "normal" period cramps - but because I never got cramps, I thought they were awful.

[Deleted User] · November 2013

@Swazzle - LUCKY.

KeptInStitches · November 2013

Ugh. Every single little thing that goes wrong seems to end in a ... well, the closest analogy I have is a grown-up temper tantrum. You know, tears, some small amount of voice-raising (not even proper yelling), misunderstanding, severe overreaction. Once I figure out that it's just my period coming on, it's okay, and I think poor BF almost knows my cycle better than I do because of the reaction. Probably PMDD, but for the most part I deal with it by self-medicating with chocolate.

[Deleted User] · November 2013

@BriSox81 - it's interesting that your mom and sister have heavy periods, but you don't! when I was in my teens, my cramps would be so bad that I couldn't get out of bed, could hardly walk to the bathroom. today, I will have periods of 5-10 seconds like that, but I can function around it.

I've thought about a non-hormonal BCP, but my GYN advises against it. the hormones in my BCP help regulate and reduce the ups and downs that I would experience in a normal cycle.

you are very lucky!

[Deleted User] · November 2013

@KeptInStitches - I used to buy a bunch of chocolate when I knew it was coming, but I've stopped doing that as it was contributing to the cysts that would pop up.

CLoGreenEyes · November 2013

@CocoBellaF, I didn't know that PMDD used to be mistaken for bipolar. That's something to think about when we start writing people off as nuts. =/

I'm not gonna lie, I do sometimes feel totally insane when I'm PMSing, though. I feel like a really distorted version of myself. During the rest of the month, certain things might bother me but I deal with it in a much better way, and I'm generally more content and calm. But for those few days I'm fighting myself to just be cool and not react too harshly. Sometimes I feel almost out of control.

I hope no one would ever call you crazy! PMDD is a valid explanation for what goes on in your life sometimes, it's not like you're using it as an excuse for anything, and you're keeping track of it and managing it. To me, that calls for extra love and support, not ridicule.

CLoGreenEyes · November 2013

Ahhhhh, I forgot about the sore boobies. That too.

Isn't it FUN?!?!?!?!

[Deleted User] · November 2013

@Amapola14 - I know exactly what you are saying. when it was really bad, a year or two ago, I would feel so out of control and out of myself that I would just pull my hair to try and feel ME.

my last GYN told me that it was all in my head and to just take SSRIs, that I was depressed. I kept calendars and tried to show her that it was cyclical, but she wouldn't talk with me. my new GYN is amazing!! SSRIs will be our last resort, she's been helping me try to learn to live with it. we tried an estrogen patch the week before my period, but OMG it made me crazy and out of control. it was awful. I will NEVER try an estrogen patch again.

I don't know of any other women IRL who struggle with PMDD or extreme PMS (not quite the same as PMDD). I am on a couple secret boards on FB, but I can't even relate to them. it's very lonely.

my best week is right after my period. I ride a serious HIGH that week, I love it!

SORE BOOBS. ugh. I get that sometimes, but thankfully not every month.

GoldenPenguin · November 2013

CocoBellaF said:

@BriSox81 - it's interesting that your mom and sister have heavy periods, but you don't! when I was in my teens, my cramps would be so bad that I couldn't get out of bed, could hardly walk to the bathroom. today, I will have periods of 5-10 seconds like that, but I can function around it.

I've thought about a non-hormonal BCP, but my GYN advises against it. the hormones in my BCP help regulate and reduce the ups and downs that I would experience in a normal cycle.

you are very lucky!

Yea, they don't like me much for that, haha. My mom has gone through menopause now (chemo & radiation during breast cancer sped up that process), but she would be bedridden for the first day/day & a half of her period for as long as I can remember. My sister isn't AS bad - and, actually, she has an IUD now too (I totally forgot, haha) so I don't know if hers are as bad as they used to be.

I had a friend who had anxiety & it would get REALLY bad with hormone fluctuations around her cycle. She was able to get them under control, but I had to take her to the hospital more than once because she would be having a panic attack so bad she thought she was having a heart attack.

[Deleted User] · November 2013

BriSox81 said:

CocoBellaF said:

@BriSox81 - it's interesting that your mom and sister have heavy periods, but you don't! when I was in my teens, my cramps would be so bad that I couldn't get out of bed, could hardly walk to the bathroom. today, I will have periods of 5-10 seconds like that, but I can function around it.

I've thought about a non-hormonal BCP, but my GYN advises against it. the hormones in my BCP help regulate and reduce the ups and downs that I would experience in a normal cycle.

you are very lucky!

Yea, they don't like me much for that, haha. My mom has gone through menopause now (chemo & radiation during breast cancer sped up that process), but she would be bedridden for the first day/day & a half of her period for as long as I can remember. My sister isn't AS bad - and, actually, she has an IUD now too (I totally forgot, haha) so I don't know if hers are as bad as they used to be.

I had a friend who had anxiety & it would get REALLY bad with hormone fluctuations around her cycle. She was able to get them under control, but I had to take her to the hospital more than once because she would be having a panic attack so bad she thought she was having a heart attack.

that is awful! thankfully, I've never been to the hospital due to an anxiety/panic attack (knock on wood). I generally know what is going on when I feel it start happening. I've worked with my GYN and my regular physician to learn to "ride the wave" instead of fight it.

both of my parents have had anxiety attacks so bad they really thought they were heart attacks. it's so scary, especially when you get there and they tell you there's nothing wrong.

were they able to quickly calm your friend?

[Deleted User] · November 2013

My symptoms are pretty similar to @lmhollister minus the vivid dreams lol.

I get super emotional though, like seriously anything will make me cry or upset. My mom even tell sometimes because I'll get upset for the smallest things like people not answering their texts fast enough lol. I also break out the week before and I bloat like crazy! My fingers get so swollen and I crave about every type of food. I will just eat everything.

During my period I cramp pretty bad and I just don't want to move but I lose all my water weight so I feel pretty skinny afterwards despite my binge eating the week before.

Blackbird230 · November 2013

This is describing me right now since I'm on my bad day.

About a week before, I'll start eating everything in sight. By the time it's the weekend before my period, I'll start feeling sad a bit and lazy. Come Monday and Tuesday, I'm off the walls mood swingy, crying for no reason, the whole nine yards. By the end of the day Tuesday, my hormone migraine will hit and won't go away until Friday at the earliest.

Wednesday when my period starts, things are ok and the migraine will be the worst of it. Thursdays however suck completely. I'll get a heavy flow and just be unhappy and blah. I'm amazed because since I went to get my hair done today and all, I'm feeling a bit peppier than normal.

Blackbird230 · November 2013

FI is the most adorable, understanding thing during my PMS week. Because of my HBC, he knows when it's coming. I make sure I'm with him on Tuesday night and he'll just comfort me and be awesome. He's been trying to figure out the pattern of my mood swings so he can be even more awesome. This morning, I panicked and he's just been so reassuring and amazing.

CLoGreenEyes · November 2013

@CocoBellaF, glad your new GYN actually listens to you and goes with what works the best for you!

I have been wondering if I do just have bad PMS these days or if it's depression. I've been feeling a lot sadder/moodier lately. It's definitely worse around my period, but these days the rest of the month isn't that much better. I need to start tracking these things. It could just be, you know, life right now, though.

[Deleted User] · November 2013

@Amapola14 - it definitely could be just life. my GP encourages me to journal, just to get the feelings out. also, on really bad days, she tells me to list 5 things I can accomplish that day, such as: brushing my teeth, eating lunch, taking a 5 minute walk, smiling at someone... she also wants me to make sure I have a hobby. in the summer, it's my vegetable garden. I release a lot of the tension and anxiety hacking at weeds. my garden is so calming. I have more trouble in the winter months.

how much more school do you have?

buddysmom80 · November 2013

I don't really get PMS symptons now because I'm on Mirena but before that, holy shit ladies, look out.

For example, I week before my Mirena appointment I had to drive to work and pay for parking, long story short, the guy didn't think I paid for parking and I flipped out. Mind you, I'm a pretty laid-back, go with the flow type of person, so I was like the Hulk. So my mood swings were the worse sympton of PMS. Or I'd cry a lot over dumb shit.

Physical symptons, sore boobies, lower back pain, headaches.

I also had really weird food cravings. Like I ate sushi for a week straight before my period.

The first two days of my period I would get cramps and I would be exhausted. My periods were really heavy the first two days, then almost nothing towards the end.

Remind me again why I'm getting my Mirena taken out next month?????

[Deleted User] · November 2013

@buddysmom80: .......babies?

CLoGreenEyes · November 2013

Yeah, winter is a bear in general. I know where you're coming from with that. It's just harder to find things to do that are good for yourself, not to mention get motivated when you're freezing your tail off.

I agree, journaling helps too. There's a good book called "Happier," and it has a few good exercises that I try to incorporate into it when I think about them. I definitely recommend checking it out!

I have a little less than nine months before graduation, about a month until we break for winter holidays. I dunno if school is that big of a causative factor in how I'm feeling - I mean, it's definitely busy and stressful, but I like what I'm doing and feel that I'm good at it. I'm thinking that the combination of relationship issues and currently living with my mom, whom I love dearly but can VERY MUCH bring me down at times, is probably a huge chunk of whatever I'm feeling lately. So there's an end in sight, it's just not getting here fast enough for my tastes.

buddysmom80 · November 2013

@cocobellaf good grief no, not yet! TBH, I had a health scare the end of August, and most of September, I just got freaked out having a foreign object in me since for a while they couldn't figure out what was wrong with me, but yeah, no kids now!

natswild · November 2013

I've had bad PMS right from my first period. Brutal cramps, headache, nausea, super heavy period. By mid 20's I'd been hospitalized for it half a dozen times in one year. That prompted 12 years on Depo Provera (yay no period or PMS, boo major weight gain). Years later now, very sore boobs 1-3 weeks before, major cramps, cystic acne, period anywhere from 2-12 days, and anywhere from light to heavy. Did I mention, Cycle anywhere from 2 weeks to 2 months????? I definitely feel for everyone who suffers!

[Deleted User] · November 2013

I'm sorry so many of you go through so much every month. I think I'm also one of the lucky ones. I really don't notice a change. Usually a day or two before I start I will have odd food cravings, but otherwise I'm pretty much the same.

I've heard girlfriends talk for years about sore boobs, horrible cramping, headaches and big mood swings. I know it's something a lot of women deal with. I did have a couple bad months while my body was adjusting to BCP, but that all ended pretty quickly thankfully.

Peaseblossom55 · November 2013

I'm on BCP and have been for about 16yrs or so. When I have PMS I break out more and I want way more chocolate and sweets than normal. My appetite grows a little too, and the day or two before I get real horny. I have to have sex a lot.

I find it's a bit worse when I actually have my period. It varies from month to month, it's strange one month I can have bad cramps and another I will be fine. Another I will be starving, and another month I'll be nauseau, sometimes I'll get headaches and sometimes I won't. So I never know what symptoms to expect.

loves2shop4shoes · November 2013

I don't get periods with Mirena. So now I'll only get sore boobs every month.

When I got periods, I would get really emotional the week before my period. Emotional could mean both getting ANGRY and bitchy, or being all I LOVE YOU MAN and bursting into tears.

For me, the period itself was way worse than the emotional symptoms. With PCOS, I'd have awful periods. Very heavy, to the point of passing blood clots. And they'd be completely unpredictable. Sometimes my period would last 4-5 days. Sometimes it'd last several weeks. Sometimes it'd last a few days, stop, and then start again.

I don't miss that shit at all.

Blackbird230 · November 2013

@TwoDimes, haha my FI calls it Vampire Blood Bank. At first I was so grossed out, but now it's just a silly joke. We've done sexy times when I'm at the end of my period, but even though I'm horny, the sex just isn't the same. I'd rather wait the few days until I'm comfortable.

GoldenPenguin · November 2013

@cocobellaF - usually they'd just give her a xanax and she'd calm down - and once they figured out what was going on, and she had the right medication, she was able to deal with it much better.

My anxiety is just always there - I do have panic attacks very very seldom now, but my anxiety doesn't fluctuate with hormones. It just is. Thank goodness for meds. haha.

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