We are having a destination wedding (in Memphis). The best man is my fiancee's best friend (30 years +). It's now three weeks before the wedding. He still hasn't booked his flight, he still hasn't gone for his tux fitting (I've reminded him every second day for a couple of weeks now). He suffered a major surprise separation from his wife about 9 months ago (wife announced she was a lesbian - seriously). I sent an email to him a couple of weeks ago explaining that if this is too difficult a time for him to be part of this ceremony just let us know there will be no hard feelings. No response from him.
When we first asked him he said he couldn't afford it. I told him we would pay for the flight and he could stay with my son in his hotel room. When we were setting up the tux we let him know that we would pay for it. When I had already picked the colors of the wedding party (red because it is so close to Christmas) he had a fit. He doesn't look good in red. The tux is a morning suit style - just an inch or two of the red vest is showing along with a red bow tie. Oh, and I found oodles of pictures of him on Facebook in red T-shirts, etc. He finally let up about the color. (My bridesmaid had already bought her dress when he announced he wasn't happy with the red so changing the color was not an option.)
Originally my son was going to walk me down the aisle in a coordinated suit instead of the tux. I ordered my son a tux and told him he's the Best Man on stand-by.
How long do I let this go on before I just say enough is enough! Tuxedo rental place said they need at least two weeks. I need an answer by Nov. 19th. Wedding date is on December 5th but we are picking up the tux on December 3rd in another city (wedding is in Memphis but we will be in Nashville for a week).
We are having a very small wedding and I have already asked another person to be the unofficial "Master of Ceremonies" because I just can't trust the Best Man.
Any advise? (Or maybe a hug.)