How did you pick your venue?

IMathlete · November 2013

FI and I are having the hardest time picking a venue. There are plenty of options to choose from; we're in a metropolitan area with beautiful countryside and mountains within a few hours. We have hired a planner, and she's dutifully showing us around, but it seems that either budget or beauty is not fitting right with each venue. So, tell me about your venue. Did you spend a long time finding the perfect venue, or did you pick one that hit most of your criteria and let decorations do the rest?

climbingsingle · November 2013

We actually only looked at one venue before deciding. We had talked about what kind of venue we wanted and what location (we're in the NY metro area and we wanted to be a little upstate). This place fit the most important factors for us - not a far drive, the grounds are beautiful, and the place is very well-known and popular. There are definitely things I'd change if I could - our entire event is only 4 hours, we can't host the kind of after party I want there - but we're making it work because the good outweigh the bad.

WonderRed · November 2013

We were looking for something very specific and booked the only place we looked at. We originally wanted to go back to northern New Mexico, where I'm from and where we met, but decided we didn't want to deal with long distance planning. So we went to the one place we knew of here near us that had the old adobe, rustic Santa Fe architecture we wanted. That NM feel was very important to us so even if they had been booked on that date, we probably would have just picked another one.

ETA: We also liked that it wasn't a traditional wedding venue that cranks out multiple weddings every week.

IMathlete · November 2013

Date isn't that important to us, so as long as they have a general month available that will lend nice weather, we'll be fine. The venue itself will dictate our date, so we're lenient in that regard. We have two feels that we are targeting - either a beautiful outdoor space with trees (no barns), or a contemporary, sophisticated space. Budget seems to be the big inhibitor here. It's hard to find outdoor without going rustic, or contemporary without blowing the budget. I'm hoping our next few forays will lend good results!

AprilH81 · November 2013

I think we looked at 4-5 venues that all met our budget requirements (the best we could determine beforehand) and the atmosphere looked like it would work based on their pictures. None of them really seemed right and I was starting to get frustrated.

I was having a business lunch with some people who run some wedding related venues and I was talking to them about my frustrations. I lucked into our venue because some of the stories I was telling them about what the other venues were telling us (i.e. no table side water refills, guests would have to go to the bar). She asked for our requirements and mentioned that one of their venues sounds like it fit the bill.

I told her that it did but it was out of our budget. Since we are having a daytime winter wedding she was able to let us use the space for only the cost of the food and beverages we ordered. No space rental, no minimums, no cake cutting fee, nothing extra. It is amazing.

Trust your gut. If you don't think something is right, it probably isn't.

vk2204 · November 2013

I used to work at our venue! I fell in love with it while working and I hoped one day we would be able to afford it. In our area, most places would pull you in with a very low PP cost and then you'd find out there was another huge charge for open bar. At our venue they had everything mixed into one price so when comparing places it would look way more expensive when in reality it was a better price than the others.

It also helped that I knew the staff, I had eaten the food for many years prior and that other family members have had receptions there before. I knew what the inside looked like completely undecorated and I had seen it done up to the extremems. It was a win-win all around for us.

IMathlete · November 2013

AprilH81 said:

I think we looked at 4-5 venues that all met our budget requirements (the best we could determine beforehand) and the atmosphere looked like it would work based on their pictures. None of them really seemed right and I was starting to get frustrated.

I was having a business lunch with some people who run some wedding related venues and I was talking to them about my frustrations. I lucked into our venue because some of the stories I was telling them about what the other venues were telling us (i.e. no table side water refills, guests would have to go to the bar). She asked for our requirements and mentioned that one of their venues sounds like it fit the bill.

I told her that it did but it was out of our budget. Since we are having a daytime winter wedding she was able to let us use the space for only the cost of the food and beverages we ordered. No space rental, no minimums, no cake cutting fee, nothing extra. It is amazing.

Trust your gut. If you don't think something is right, it probably isn't.

Thanks. I am trying to trust my gut, and have turned down venues that simply were not "special." I am just wondering at what point I need to stop being picky and start trying to envision what we can do with the space. Thanks to the etiquette board here, I have a long list of "must haves," like no cash bar and ample seating for cocktail. Add in my "pretty" requirements and it narrows the field considerably!

WonderRed · November 2013

vk2204 said:

I used to work at our venue! I fell in love with it while working and I hoped one day we would be able to afford it. In our area, most places would pull you in with a very low PP cost and then you'd find out there was another huge charge for open bar. At our venue they had everything mixed into one price so when comparing places it would look way more expensive when in reality it was a better price than the others.

*stuck in a box*
This was ours too. My initial reaction when i first saw the on line price per person was that it cost too much. But when we called and found out there were no site or set up fees that suddenly made it the same price as the "less expensive" places that charged $2000-3000 on top of the food and beverage cost. Keep this in mind when shopping around and looking at prices.

AddieCake · November 2013

We changed venues about 6 months out. We got wind of some shady stuff going on and so made the switch. It turned out to be a blessing in disguise b/c our new venue was far and away better than the original one.

We picked it b/c of the waterfall, their reputation, the price, and that it was all-inclusive and had everything we were looking for. And despite the volume of weddings they do per year, they still made me feel like I was more than a number.

AprilH81 · November 2013

IMathlete said:

AprilH81 said:

I think we looked at 4-5 venues that all met our budget requirements (the best we could determine beforehand) and the atmosphere looked like it would work based on their pictures. None of them really seemed right and I was starting to get frustrated.

I was having a business lunch with some people who run some wedding related venues and I was talking to them about my frustrations. I lucked into our venue because some of the stories I was telling them about what the other venues were telling us (i.e. no table side water refills, guests would have to go to the bar). She asked for our requirements and mentioned that one of their venues sounds like it fit the bill.

I told her that it did but it was out of our budget. Since we are having a daytime winter wedding she was able to let us use the space for only the cost of the food and beverages we ordered. No space rental, no minimums, no cake cutting fee, nothing extra. It is amazing.

Trust your gut. If you don't think something is right, it probably isn't.

Thanks. I am trying to trust my gut, and have turned down venues that simply were not "special." I am just wondering at what point I need to stop being picky and start trying to envision what we can do with the space. Thanks to the etiquette board here, I have a long list of "must haves," like no cash bar and ample seating for cocktail. Add in my "pretty" requirements and it narrows the field considerably!

To an extent I would give up some (but not all) pretty for good service and convenience. You can always add more pretty with decorations but you can't improve bad service or an inconvenient location. I loved the ballroom at the very first place we visited but the secondary spaces for the ceremony and cocktail hour weren't so great. The deal breaker for me was the location. It was kind of out in the country, no cell service and with a January wedding we didn't want to risk the roads not getting plowed so we crossed that one off the list.

Senecaf · November 2013

I picked one that looked good and gave me a reasonable quote. It wasnt me first choice, but the one I wanted most booked while I was being indecisive.
I looked at a bunch though. In then end I selected one within my budget with a good central location, a parking option and a clean look to it. I still am somewhat mourning the lost opportunity for my first choice venue but oh well

Bashley20062 · November 2013

I had specific criteria that I wanted met, along with the date we wanted being open. The venue we found is absolutely beautiful and met all of our criteria, but I think the thing that really sealed the deal was the staff. The person that showed us around the venue made us feel very comfortable and we left there really excited. I think finding someone at the venue that you can trust to help make sure your day is beautiful and exactly what you want is a must.

One problem we did encounter was that looking online some venues say that they hold more people than they actually do. I would recommend asking exactly how many people the venue can hold and how many it holds comfortably.

Bashley20062 · November 2013

In regards to wanting a beautiful outdoor location or sophisticated indoor space, I would look into golf courses. The location we chose has a beautiful outdoor space specifically for weddings, a wooded area with the Mississippi river in the background. How you choose to decorate the rest of the wedding will determine the "feel" of the wedding.

southernbelle0915 · November 2013

Our priorities with choosing a venue were location, size and unique characteristics. Of course we didn't even look at anything that wasn't in our set budget. Our caterer suggested we take a look at a venue that was still under construction. We went to the construction site and got a tour, saw specs, looked at artist drawings of what it was supposed to look like... It was a huge risk on a lot of levels, but we booked it and couldn't have been happier. It was stunning.

I've heard that they're already booked solid for '14 and mostly for '15 (a few Friday and off season dates are all that's available). We also saw that they upped their prices. Lucky us!

doeydo · November 2013

Mainly for us, it's about good price combined with good food and aesthetics.

smalfrie19 · November 2013

Picking wasn't that hard. I researched venue options before we ever toured so we discussed a few places. But we ultimately ended up going with our venue because of the flexibility we are afforded, the aesthetics and the sentimental value ( my mom and step dad got married at the same place)

Senecaf · November 2013

southernbelle0915 said:
Our priorities with choosing a venue were location, size and unique characteristics. Of course we didn't even look at anything that wasn't in our set budget. Our caterer suggested we take a look at a venue that was still under construction. We went to the construction site and got a tour, saw specs, looked at artist drawings of what it was supposed to look like... It was a huge risk on a lot of levels, but we booked it and couldn't have been happier. It was stunning.

I've heard that they're already booked solid for '14 and mostly for '15 (a few Friday and off season dates are all that's available). We also saw that they upped their prices. Lucky us!

Ours was also under consrtruction when we visited. I still have not seen it totally set up but I have a good feeling about it. It was recommended by another venue that was bookef solid for '14 and early '15.

MrsMack10612 · November 2013

We had some very specific criteria that were close to non-negotiable. We wanted it in our hometown, we preferred one of our historic buildings, but didn't want a typical hotel, cookie cutter wedding reception (no offense to those that do that, just not our style) and handicapped accessible. We also wanted some place that we had a little more free reign when it came to catering and alcohol.

We looked at 4 possible venues - 2 of them were retrictive on booze & catering; 1 was not accessible, but for our folks that needed accessibility it could have been worked out and the last pretty much fit our bill.

What we eventually found was a historical building with two floors, one for cocktail hour, one for reception, we could bring in whatever caterer we want and provide our own booze. The price was right and we could pretty much do what we wanted. The only con was that due to seasonal programs they building ran, we could not have access until 4pm. Our ceremony was at 5pm (or maybe it was 530, boy I can't remember, I'm fired), so we had a very short window for set up.

[Deleted User] · November 2013

We looked at about 10 different venues and picked the second one. H didn't give me his opinion on what he wanted so I booked meetings at different places. Our venue was an old estate that had been donated to the city for the arts so our fee was a donation (hello tax write off!) which contained a mansion, gardens and a great lawn. When we visited H went running around the lawn taking pictures. I should of known that was the place when he did that!

zizibet · November 2013

                    Before we started looking, we had a long conversation about what we really wanted, things that were absolute dealbreakers-for example, there was one place we really liked until we looked at the ceremony spot. Then we mutually said no, because we couldn't imagine ugly ceremony site pictures. We also realized a couple of our top choices were impractical for us as we have a lot of OOT guests, and some were just too far from hotels and/or the airport.
   My ticker's wrong, but our top choice was not at all what we originally envisioned, but it met all our criteria. We thought we wanted an urban feel, and now we're doing something very different.
   Our dealbreakers were-ceremony site we both liked, great food/drinks, flexibilty of style(we wanted a stations rather than buffet or plated) indoor/outdoor space, and of course, budget.

WinstonsGirl · November 2013

DH found ours online. It was located where we wanted to be, with minimal travel for guests from their hotels. And they had a great all-inclusive package that had more then we ever thought of getting, and for a reasonable price too. E-mailing the Banquet Coordinator was simple and she was on the ball, so we were good with that.

LizM61409 · November 2013

I contacted tons of venues in the general area I wanted it to be in to get their pricing information.

I pretty much eliminated venues that make you arrange everything yourself (tables, linens, dance floor.... I work 80 hours weeks, don't have time for that!)

I arranged the venues in a spreadsheet and sorted by total cost to host our number of anticipated guests (including in-house catering/bar). The first two on the list had major bad reviews so we didn't go look at them. The next two we visited and they were fine but nothing special. The next one down was a country club which was gorgeous and had great reviews. After that I saw no reason to go look at more expensive places. (I'm looking back at my spreadsheet now- there are 32 additional places I got pricing info for but didn't visit, some of these ended up being twice as expensive as the venue we picked)

lizandmark2014 · November 2013

I got starting quotes from 3 and visited 2. I wanted specific criteria. I wanted within X dollars, good/ enough parking. I wanted space for 100% of my guest list. I also wanted a specific weekend.

jlazgrl · November 2013

I honestly think the deciding factor for us was the staff and event coordinator at our venue. The first place we looked at the guy never directly answered my questions. He just kind of danced around them and answered about something similar, but not exactly what I had asked. Another venue I called to set up a meeting but the coordinator was busy so I left a message with someone else to be called back. She finally called a week later and set up an appointment. Then, when I showed up, she wasn't there, no one knew who I was, and they didn't have any information to give me.

How did you pick your venue?

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