Wedding Date Difficulty - Advice welcome

Re: Wedding Date Difficulty - Advice welcome

• Teddy917 member

  

  November 2013

  1. What do you mean "involvement in the wedding"? Are you thinking of asking her to be a BM?
  
  No matter what someone won't be able to make it. You have to decide if switching the date is worth it.

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• phira member

  

  November 2013

  Keep in mind that not everyone's going to come to your wedding, no matter what date you pick. The way I try to think about it is that it's important for our immediate family to be present, and that we'd be super disappointed if other people couldn't make it, but that we wouldn't be changing the date.

  
  

  If you've already booked your venue then it sounds like your date is set ...

  

  now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
  
  

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• HisGirlFriday13 member

  

  November 2013

  aks1123 said:

  My hubby to be and I discussed some time before actually getting engaged that we would have a September/October 2014 wedding.  I mentioned this to all my friends and family prior to the engagement.  Shortly after we were engaged we discussed with our family mostly if the end of September would work for them and everyone said yes.  We were super excited to get that date because the place we booked for the ceremony and reception gets booked up relatively quickly and only had a few choices left in September and October, only Sundays.  Recently I was giving all my friends the exact date and all of them confirmed that it worked for them, except one.  The one who can't make it will be out of the country and she is one of my closest friends and also my fiance's cousin.  So now the issue is do we change the wedding date so she can come or keep the day we have.  My difficulty with changing the date to accommodate her for several reasons: 1. I hadn't yet decided what her involvement in the wedding would be.  2.The other day that's open is the day of the marathon in the city and I worry about out of town guests navigating the city and given that its a Michigan wedding it will be much colder mid October vs late September.  Thoughts and advice are welcome!!!

  Not everyone is going to be able to make it. That's just a reality.
  
  Now that you have picked a date and put a deposit down on a venue, if you change it you risk someone ELSE not being able to attend. Also, if you change it for this person, you open a can of worms about changing it for someone else's request.
  
  And your instincts about not having it the same weekend as a marathon are spot-on.

  

  
  

  
  

  I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'

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• raw1299 member

  

  November 2013

  keep your date. don't bend over backwards for your friend. If she cant make it, it wont be the end of the world. And if she makes it like that- then that isn't a friend to have. I'm sure you guys can celebrate at your shower or bachelorette party. 

  Married 10/09/11

  Miss Claire born 5/29/13
  

  Our Happy Little Family

  
  

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  November 2013

  Unfortunatley not everyone you want to be there will be able to attend for different reasons. We had a cousin out of state find out shortly after we sent out the save the dates that she was pregenant (ok we found out shortly after, she hadn't announced it yet due to how early on it was) and her due date was too close to the wedding for her to be able to fly. It would have been nice to see her, but we continued as planned. We had one close friend who had to cancel the day before our wedding due to a family emergency, her grandson was rushed to the hospital and she took care of the other kids so her daughter & SIL could be with the baby. Another close family member had to cancel out two weeks before our wedding because her step son did so well in his special olympic competition that he qualified for state, which was the same weekend as our wedding (they lived out of state) to tell him that he couldn't compete because of my wedding wasn't an option. I'm sharing this just to show you that no matter how well you try to plan things out, there will always be someone you would like at your wedding that for one reason or another, doesn't make it. Do your best to plan around as many as your VIP guests as you can, but realize, no matter how carefully you plan (even if you plan out 2-3 years in advance) there will always be one person who won't be able to make it. Good luck with the rest of your planning & congrats!!!

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• EverAfer member

  

  November 2013

  If your venue books up fast, I would do it soon or at least have them hold your date(s) while you decide.

  
  

  1. Pick a date that is best for you and for as many of your guests as possible.  It will be unfortunate if she can't make it, but you can still invite her and she can still join in the bridal shower/bachlerotte party. But, it's this far out and other people may have conflicts as the wedding get closer so accept that most people who can, will be there.

  
  

  2. I would avoid a marathon weekend. Since you have out of town guests, yes it will be harder to navigate the city. But it could also be more expensive if they have to book a place to stay.

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• hoffse member

  

  November 2013

  OP, this happens.  One of our ushers had to bow out at the last minute because his moot court team (law school) unexpectedly won state and had nationals that weekend.  That law school had never been to nationals before, but it just happened.  We weren't going to ask him to give up an opportunity like that; likewise, we weren't going to change things for him to be able to show up.

  
  

  Avoid the marathon weekend.  A coworker of mine went to his brother's wedding this past weekend, and apparently there was a race there which they weren't expecting.  He said 6,000 people showed up outside the hotel and it made the entire wedding party late to the wedding because they couldn't get through traffic.

  
  

  

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• aks1123 member

  November 2013

  Thank you so much everyone for sharing your personal stories and advice!! Its much appreciated

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• aks1123 member

  November 2013

  Thank you so much everyone for sharing your personal stories and advice!! Its much appreciated

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