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When to officially "ask" bridesmaids to be in the wedding

drkazdrkaz member
First Comment
in Wedding Party

We would like to send out special invitations asking the girls to be in the bridal party (and the guys to be groomsmen). However, we cannot decide when is appropriate to send them. Is it weird to send them before the STDs go out because you haven't "officially" announced the wedding to the other guests? Should they go out before the STDs? Any input is greatly appreciated!

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Re: When to officially "ask" bridesmaids to be in the wedding

  • clarke10clarke10 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer First Comment
    When is your wedding? I would say 6-9 months before the wedding. I don't think it would be weird to ask them before the STD's go out. 
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  • drkazdrkaz member
    First Comment
    The wedding is 3/28/15, so, I know we have some time! The girls who I want to ask have been my friends for years and I don't really have the concern that they won't be around in 14 months. Same goes for the groomsmen...
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  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    But a lot can change between friends in a year. I'd still hold off until July-August.
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  • clarke10clarke10 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer First Comment
    Honestly, I would wait. We are having a two year engagement. When we got engaged I knew who I wanted as BM's. They had all been my friends forever, BUT I told FI we were waiting until much closer to the wedding. Guess what. Even though these are girls I've been friends with forever, my list has changed in the past 6 months. Good thing I didn't ask them right away.

    Friendships can change so much over time. 
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I presently no longer speak to a friend I was thick as thieves with for 10 years. We had a falling out over something stupid and haven't spoken to each other in over a year. So yeah, a lot can change. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I would wait for several reasons - 1) stuff changes 2) your wedding plans may change - you may go from large wedding plans to very small or even eloping 3) your budget may change - between gifts/bouquets/etc. the larger your WP, the more expensive. 

    Just focus on the big things right now - budget/savings plan, venue, and big vendors. I'd ask them this summer. 

    Also, when you say you're planning to send them invitations to be in your WP, what do you mean? Why aren't you just talking to them?
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Because, Belle! That's not trendy enough!
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    AddieL73 said:
    Because, Belle! That's not trendy enough!
    Silly me. They're not really your BMs until you give them a ring pop and a note that says "he asked... now it's my turn!!" ZOMGGG!!!! I'm totally getting married!!
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    Wait until 6-9 months before the wedding to ask.  Outside of things changing, it's just too early to ask people to commit, even if they are your best friends.  

    When the time comes to ask, ask them in person or over the phone.  Mailing an invitation is impersonal.  These are your best friends, not distant relatives.  
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  • MadHops21MadHops21 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    My wedding isn't for years, and I thought for sure one of my high school best friends would be my MOH, but our relationship has changed and we barely talk anymore. Definitely wait because things change.
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