::Cues "woe is me" music::
We've been engaged for two weeks and I already have a headache. FI and I have been together for two years, living together for one. We always planned on a September/October wedding and said we didn't want to be engaged for a full year. We're ready to do this!
So, one of my closest friends (and potential BM) got engaged in July. She originally wanted a June/July wedding, but decided against it b/c she's in another mutual friend's wedding next June and that friend kinda told her that if their weddings were super-close, it would be a bit inconvenient. So, my friend chose Sept. 20 and jokingly apologized for "stealing my month." No biggie, I knew we'd figure something out. I'm a BM in her wedding and super-excited for her.
I got engaged two weeks ago and found a great venue here in Atlanta. Thing is, their only availability was Aug. 30, Sept. 6 or Nov. 8 and I told myself to avoid September at all costs. So, even though Aug. 30 is Labor Day weekend, I tried to make it work. But, FI's half of the guest list is from out of state and there are NO hotels in Atlanta that weekend (it's gay pride and Comic Con, on top of a holiday weekend). To be considerate to our guests, Aug. 30 just was not going to work.
Then, FI put his foot down and said he was NOT getting married in Nov. So, Sept. 6 it is! Except...my friend doesn't love the idea of us getting married two weeks before her. In her defense, she is in three weddings next year (one in April, one in June and mine in September) on top of getting married herself later in Sept. That's a lot for anyone, so, I gave her an "out" and told her I understood if she couldn't swing being a BM two weeks before her own wedding. Told her I wouldn't be mad if she had to bow out, but that I'd love her to stand next to me. Also told her that all she had to do was put on the dress and stand there for my wedding, but she said she'd be too focused on her own day to do it. I'm a little sad, but I get it.
She also mentioned the dates being so close would be hard on our guests/bridal party. We DO have two BMs in common, but I've checked with both of them and they're ok with being in both weddings as long as they have ample time to buy the dresses. About 20 of our guests will be the same (I'm having 200 ppl, she's has 250), but I figure, they'll just be invited to two big parties in September, nothing too hard about that, right? Since her entire guest list and bridal party are all from GA, as is my half of guest list/bridal party, everyone's pretty local. But I do have to be sensitive to FI's needs - all of his groomsmen and his half of guest list have to travel across state lines to attend.
Am I totally selfish here? I truly tried to avoid her entire wedding month, but it just wasn't ironing out for us. I felt that by giving her the "out" and just asking her to attend as a guest, along with checking with the bridal party members we have in common, I was doing the right thing..Thoughts?