Bridesmaids Hair and Makeup

emilie250 · November 2013

I'm in an uncomfortable situation.

I was planning on getting my hair professionally done and doing my own makeup. I was hoping to ask my bridesmaids to do the same, but I've since realized that three of my four bridesmaids wouldn't do a good job with their makeup.

I don't want to do it for them (I want to focus on other things on the big day) or ask the other bridesmaid to do it for them (they don't know one another).

On the other hand, I don't think I can ask the bridesmaids to get their makeup done if I'm not spending the money on myself.

Any suggestions?

Robyn5298 · November 2013

You're right, you can't require the bridesmaids to get their makeup professionally done if you aren't prepared to pay for it.

You can always poll your bridesmaids and see if anyone is interested in using a makeup artist for the day. Maybe some of them will take you up on it and you can hire someone to be there if they want. Of course, you'd have to make it clear that they would be paying for their own makeup, and that the service is optional.

Even if they opt to do their own makeup, I'm sure they will still look nice! It won't be a big deal even if they don't do their makeup how you would want them to. I'm sure they will try to look their best, and as long as they feel pretty isn't that the most important thing?

Rebl90 · November 2013

Unless they paint their faces blue I don't think your guests will notice if the BMs do not have their make-up done professionally.

I understand wanting everything to look perfect and have everyone look their best, but that is their responsibility. My MOH wants to get her hair and make-up done professionally so I told the other BMs that there will be someone available if they want to, however I also told them that I didn't believe it was necessary.

misssunshine17 · November 2013

You can't ask them to do it. It's basically telling them they're ugly. The only (absolute only) thing you can do if offer to pay for it.

southernbelle0915 · November 2013

FemmeLavande said:

I'm in an uncomfortable situation.

I was planning on getting my hair professionally done and doing my own makeup. I was hoping to ask my bridesmaids to do the same, but I've since realized that three of my four bridesmaids wouldn't do a good job with their makeup.

I don't want to do it for them (I want to focus on other things on the big day) or ask the other bridesmaid to do it for them (they don't know one another).

On the other hand, I don't think I can ask the bridesmaids to get their makeup done if I'm not spending the money on myself.

Any suggestions?

Unless you are offering to pay for it, you can't ask your BMs to get their hair and/or make-up done. Their only mandatory financial obligation is buying the dress and getting to the wedding. All other stuff that you ask them to do should be funded by you.

If you want them to get their make-up done, you OFFER (they can still decline the service all together) to pay for it. If you can't afford to do that, then you just have to be ok with them doing their own. This is a VERY minor detail. Focus your energy elsewhere and don't worry about this.

clarke10 · November 2013

Have you considered paying for them to get their make-up done? You can't force them to have it done professionally, and you certainly can't make them pay for it. But you can certainly offer to pay for it for them.

How bad can they possibly make it look? I don't think people are going to be focusing too much on the BM's makeup.

emilie250 · November 2013

I completely understand everyone's comments. I individually asked each of them how they felt about hair and makeup, and they each said they want to get their hair done and most would prefer to get their makeup done as well if I find a good deal. And, if it's too expensive for them - I've just decided not to worry about it!

I guess I had a minor "bridezilla" moment, very happy I posted on here instead of talking with them.

emilie250 · November 2013

misssunshine17 said:

You can't ask them to do it. It's basically telling them they're ugly. The only (absolute only) thing you can do if offer to pay for it.

Definitely not what I'm saying. These women simply haven't spent a lot of time experimenting with makeup so they're not very good at applying evening makeup.

misssunshine17 · November 2013

FemmeLavande said:

misssunshine17 said:

You can't ask them to do it. It's basically telling them they're ugly. The only (absolute only) thing you can do if offer to pay for it.

Definitely not what I'm saying. These women simply haven't spent a lot of time experimenting with makeup so they're not very good at applying evening makeup.

I understand that's not what you're really saying, but that's how it comes off. Glad you've changed your mind and are letting it go.

AddieCake · November 2013

Definitely a good thing to just let go, as this will affect you and your wedding not at all.

MyNameIsNot · November 2013

FemmeLavande said:

I completely understand everyone's comments. I individually asked each of them how they felt about hair and makeup, and they each said they want to get their hair done and most would prefer to get their makeup done as well if I find a good deal. And, if it's too expensive for them - I've just decided not to worry about it!

I guess I had a minor "bridezilla" moment, very happy I posted on here instead of talking with them.

You should be paying for the hair and make-up anyway.

If you dislike how they do their make-up, pay for the MUA. You don't have to use her.

Rebl90 · November 2013

MyNameIsNot said:

FemmeLavande said:

I completely understand everyone's comments. I individually asked each of them how they felt about hair and makeup, and they each said they want to get their hair done and most would prefer to get their makeup done as well if I find a good deal. And, if it's too expensive for them - I've just decided not to worry about it!

I guess I had a minor "bridezilla" moment, very happy I posted on here instead of talking with them.

You should be paying for the hair and make-up anyway.

If you dislike how they do their make-up, pay for the MUA. You don't have to use her.

Should she be paying for their hair and make-up because she wants it done professionally or because she's the bride?

I question this because I am not asking my BMs to get their hair/make-up done and I don't have the resources to gift it to them. If I could then I absolutely would, but I'm a full time student making almost nothing a month and none of them have expressed to me that they are expecting me to pay for it.

jenniferurs · November 2013

I offered my BMs the option to pay for their own if they wanted to. If not, they didn't have to. I believe only when it's required of the bridal party is the bride expected to pay. If it's optional, she's not obligated to.

misssunshine17 · November 2013

Rebl90 said:

MyNameIsNot said:

FemmeLavande said:

I completely understand everyone's comments. I individually asked each of them how they felt about hair and makeup, and they each said they want to get their hair done and most would prefer to get their makeup done as well if I find a good deal. And, if it's too expensive for them - I've just decided not to worry about it!

I guess I had a minor "bridezilla" moment, very happy I posted on here instead of talking with them.

You should be paying for the hair and make-up anyway.

If you dislike how they do their make-up, pay for the MUA. You don't have to use her.

Should she be paying for their hair and make-up because she wants it done professionally or because she's the bride?

I question this because I am not asking my BMs to get their hair/make-up done and I don't have the resources to gift it to them. If I could then I absolutely would, but I'm a full time student making almost nothing a month and none of them have expressed to me that they are expecting me to pay for it.

**Stuck in box:
If she's requiring it, she must pay for it. If she says do you own or you have the option, she doesn't have to pay.

MobKaz · November 2013

jenniferurs said:

I offered my BMs the option to pay for their own if they wanted to. If not, they didn't have to. I believe only when it's required of the bridal party is the bride expected to pay. If it's optional, she's not obligated to.

If I knew a bride that REQUIRED my hair and make up be done professionally, whether she paid for it or not, I would question my friendship with that bride.

emilie250 · November 2013

**Stuck in box:
If she's requiring it, she must pay for it. If she says do you own or you have the option, she doesn't have to pay.

That's what I've understood of people's advice.

Rebl90 · November 2013

FemmeLavande said:

**Stuck in box:
If she's requiring it, she must pay for it. If she says do you own or you have the option, she doesn't have to pay.

That's what I've understood of people's advice.

Okay, that's what I've always understood too, I just wanted to clarify

ginger2431 · November 2013

Unrelated to this, but another hair/makeup question. One of my bridesmaids asked me if I could do her hair and makeup for my wedding since she thinks I will do a better job than she will. While I appreciate the compliment, I really don't want to have to deal with the stress of getting someone else ready for my wedding. Is it acceptable for me to explain this to her and say I can't do her hair and makeup, but that I'm sure she'll do a great job herself? Or should I suggest using a professional stylist if she's uncomfortable doing her own hair? Thanks!

[Deleted User] · November 2013

ginger2431 said:

Unrelated to this, but another hair/makeup question. One of my bridesmaids asked me if I could do her hair and makeup for my wedding since she thinks I will do a better job than she will. While I appreciate the compliment, I really don't want to have to deal with the stress of getting someone else ready for my wedding. Is it acceptable for me to explain this to her and say I can't do her hair and makeup, but that I'm sure she'll do a great job herself? Or should I suggest using a professional stylist if she's uncomfortable doing her own hair? Thanks!

Be honest and tell her that you appreciate the compliment but you're not sure you'll have the time to do for her on the wedding day. If you are going to a salon to have your hair done, find out the cost for her to get her hair done & tell her the price & ask her if she would like to book a stylist for her? Also provide cost of make up artist if they have one available.

I had a similar situation, the BM did get her hair done at the salon with me but then to help with with money, one of the BM did her make up for her while getting ready (we had done a trial run a weeks prior)

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