FI and his brother have been on the phone lately talking about his bachelor party, and it's really starting to get me down. He's having one, I'm not.
They are planning a weekend in Atlantic City at the casinos for his party. He's already told his brother he wants all his cousins invited (including the girls). His brother was not thrilled about the idea of having girls at a bachelor party, but FI told him "I want all my cousins with me." He's also invited my youngest brother to attend and has even offered to pick him up in Virginia on his way up to AC. I trust my FI completely, and on top of that he's inviting his girl cousins and my brother, and made it very clear he doesn't want anything to do with strippers. Still, just hearing the words 'Bachelor Party' puts an involuntary knot in my stomach due to an experience with my ex-FI. I was engaged years ago, and during our engagement my ex-FI was the best man for his best friend's party. As he was getting ready to leave for the out of town bachelor party, I didn't ask what they were going to do, figuring I would rather not know. But before he left, he told me "Don't worry, I made a promise to Erin (the bride) that we wouldn't go to the strip clubs."
While they were away at the BP, I spoke to the bride. She was so relieved that when she asked my then-FI not to plan any strip clubs, he agreed and promised her they wouldn't. Months later, he was drunk and blurted out to a future groom that "It's not a bachelor party if there are no strippers." I said "You didn't have strippers at John's party" and was met with a guilty look. That's when I found out that they had strippers from an escort service sent to the hotel room. Ex-FI was adamant that he hadn't lied to me or the bride: "I promised we wouldn't GO to any STRIP CLUBS and we didn't. I never lied to you."
So, yeah. Even though I know what FI's plans are and who will be there, I feel a tiny bit of stress although I know it applies to a past situation and not this one.
The other thing is that nobody will be throwing me a bachelorette party. I had a close group of girlfriends but my relationship with one girl who was central to the group became very toxic. Eventually, for my own sanity, I had to cut off my friendship with her and as a result I'm no longer a part of the group. I still get together individually with several of the girls I used to hang out with, but I'm no longer invited to group events and they no longer attend events when I hostess.
I'm feeling a little pathetic that FI will be having a big party surrounded by all his friends and cousins, and I don't have anyone to do the same for me. It's just the littlest bit depressing.
Anybody else go through this?