Not Engaged Yet

Any ladies popping the question?

I've been lurking around this site for a while, but this is my first post. I love reading everyone else's stories, it's been great to get some insight into the ways other couples are winding their way through the dating and engagement relationships. 

I'm just wondering if there are any other ladies out there who have, or are thinking about, proposing to their BF. My BF, B, and I have been together about two years, living together about 6 months. I'm currently a law student and when I was deciding on where to pursue my degree, he visited all the schools with me and we decided that we would both move together (we had previously been living in Chicago, but I was not looking at schools there). We have talked about marriage in the future, and both seem to be on the same page that we would like to be married to each other at some point. However, neither of us are in any particular hurry, we're still just enjoying living together and experiencing this part of our relationship.  

It has come up a couple of different times, but he's mentioned that he might like it if I propose to him. Now, I'm not opposed to this, I would still like him to ask me, but I like the idea of both of us asking each other. I'm not thinking of doing this in the immediate future (definitely not before this academic year is over--there's just too much going on), but I've been thinking more and more about it as an eventuality- rather than a possibility. Meaning, that I think it is something I do want to do, the problem is that there just isn't as much out there about women proposing to men. So I thought I would post this here and see if you ladies have any insights to offer. 

Have any of you proposed (or know someone who proposed to their BF)?
My BF isn't that into flashy jewelry, but I thought getting a simply band, that he could wear with or as a wedding band later, might be nice too?

Anyway, I'm just interested in any advice/opinions you might have!

Thanks :)
Pepperally

Re: Any ladies popping the question?

  • CASK85CASK85 member
    1000 Comments 250 Love Its Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited November 2013
    Someone who used to post here proposed to her BF with a watch. Little did she know he also had a ring, which he gave to her when she proposed (and I think he also proposed at the time). Super adorable story. Any older posters remember who it was? @Elle1036 @Sakalicious do you remember?
    Blackbird230
  • mbross3 said:
    I've been lurking around this site for a while, but this is my first post. I love reading everyone else's stories, it's been great to get some insight into the ways other couples are winding their way through the dating and engagement relationships. 

    I'm just wondering if there are any other ladies out there who have, or are thinking about, proposing to their BF. My BF, B, and I have been together about two years, living together about 6 months. I'm currently a law student and when I was deciding on where to pursue my degree, he visited all the schools with me and we decided that we would both move together (we had previously been living in Chicago, but I was not looking at schools there). We have talked about marriage in the future, and both seem to be on the same page that we would like to be married to each other at some point. However, neither of us are in any particular hurry, we're still just enjoying living together and experiencing this part of our relationship.  

    It has come up a couple of different times, but he's mentioned that he might like it if I propose to him. Now, I'm not opposed to this, I would still like him to ask me, but I like the idea of both of us asking each other. I'm not thinking of doing this in the immediate future (definitely not before this academic year is over--there's just too much going on), but I've been thinking more and more about it as an eventuality- rather than a possibility. Meaning, that I think it is something I do want to do, the problem is that there just isn't as much out there about women proposing to men. So I thought I would post this here and see if you ladies have any insights to offer. 

    Have any of you proposed (or know someone who proposed to their BF)?
    My BF isn't that into flashy jewelry, but I thought getting a simply band, that he could wear with or as a wedding band later, might be nice too?

    Anyway, I'm just interested in any advice/opinions you might have!

    Thanks :)

    Nope.

    I've never heard of it happening either.

     Wedding Countdown Ticker




    image 59 Invited
    image 36 Yes
    image 2 No
    image 21 Unknown
  • phiraphira Bahstin member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    My partner and I didn't even really propose to each other in any way, but I was thinking about proposing to him for a while.

    If you think your guy would be cool wearing an engagement ring (my partner loves his), I can recommend something like a titanium band with some kind of embellishment. I'll attach an image of the ring we picked for my partner. If he's not so much into wearing a non-wedding ring, then I recommend a watch.

    Check offbeatbride.com--I think they may have a tag for women proposing to their partners.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
    image
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    @CASK85 - I was going to post about the girl with the watch too! I can't remember what her names was though...

    I think a watch is a good option if your BF isn't really into jewelry. Or another option could be proposing to him with a band and when you get married he can use that same ring as a wedding band.

    You should talk with your BF about what he would like though. I guess I see it the same as if he were proposing to you. He would probably still want some input about what you like and don't like so I don't see why you can't have the same conversation if the roles are reversed :)


    Pepperally
  • Welcome!  Did your BF indicate why he would like you to propose to him?  Did he say he would like that in lieu of him proposing to you? 

    Tell us more about yourself...how old are you guys?  You said you are a law student...what do you want to practice? What does your BF do?

  • Just saw your intro...I'll post it below for the rest of the ladies. 

    Screen Name: mbross3
    Age: 25
    Significant Other's Age: 35
    What You Do: Law Student
    What SO Does: IT
    State of Relationship: living together for about 6 months, dating about 2 years
    How Long You've Been Together: 2 years
    How You Met: through work, we both used to work at the same community center (we've both sense moved on to different positions and no longer work together)
    Wedding Date (if you're engaged/married): Not engaged yet
    Real Babies: none
    Fur Babies: none
    Loves: watching movies, reading books, taking walks, photography
    Hates:
    Pet Peeves: poor grammar, opinions stated as facts
    Hobbies/Activities: long walks, knitting anything, playing tetris
    Favorite Thing About Your SO: he's always so genuine and he's patient in a way that I can only admire
    Least Favorite Thing About Your SO: he can be very indecisive
    Describe Your Personality: more serious, I tend to treat most things like puzzles to be figured out. I value efficiency and only like to be spontaneous when I know I have no other responsibilities.
    Snark Level (1 [low snark] - 10 [high snark]): 4
    I've Been On TK Since: October 2013
    How You Came to Be On TK: a friend of mine just got engaged and we've been obsessed

    How I like my potatoes: shoe string fries

    Favorite book/author: Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen
    Tell Us Something Interesting About Yourself: I'm a middle child and my favorite color is purple
  • I don't know anyone who has proposed to their BF.  A watch or a ring sounds like a cute idea.  I'd prefer to wait until he asked because I'm a bit traditional and I'd prefer for him to do when I know he is ready.

    Anniversary

    buddysmom80
  • Thanks @minskat30 I was just looking for that intro! 

    B and I are about 9 years apart (I'll be 26 in a few days and he just turned 35 a few days ago!) and like I said, we're not in any particular hurry to get married. I would want to have a longer engagement anyway since I have a year left of law school and then would want to have time for us to figure out where to go next (and where I'd have to take the bar). 

    The idea of me proposing to him would be in addition to him proposing to me. When he's mentioned it, it's always been in the context of him asking me. He just also would like to be asked. I think generally it's assumed that the guy proposing wants to marry you, which is why he's asking (duh! ;)) but B thinks it's a good idea for us to ask each other, and for that to be an opportunity for each of us to express to the other why we want to be married and what we love about each other, and for both of us to ask the other to spend our lives together. I can hardly disagree with this since, well I want to be asked, so I get why he would too! 


    Peaseblossom55
  • I popped the question to DH last night. 

    I said, "Baby, will you empty the dishwasher."

    He said no.  I am heartbroken.

    Totally kidding.  Thought we could use some lightheartedness in here.
    buddysmom80
  • mbross3mbross3 member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    edited November 2013
    image
    Love it! :)
  • It was very important to me that FI propose to me. However, it was also important that it not be one-sided. FI loves diamonds and is a bit more invested in nice jewelry than I am. Since he put so much thought and effort into my engagement ring, I wanted him to have a piece of jewelry that signified our engagement as well. After he popped the question, we returned to our jeweler and ordered him a beautiful watch with diamonds that fit his personality and style. So while I never asked initially, I did buy him engagement jewelry. We got it engraved with our engagement date.

    ShallowSeasPepperally
  • We both decided to get married together, over the course of a lot of discussions about our goals and values and such things. In our discussions, he mentioned that he would prefer to propose to me first. Eventually, he did, and then I proposed back to him! We both said yes. :) We're not big on traditional gender roles, so it was perfect.

    As a PP mentioned, Offbeat Bride has a bunch of posts about this, as does A Practical Wedding. For starters:


    This one is my favorite!
    Pepperally
  • I remember the watch, too. Was that CateMeg maybe?

    My H specifically asked that I not propose to him, so I respected his wishes. I think it's worth discussing if one or both of you have strong feelings on the matter. I personally was okay either way.
  • It wasn't Cate. It was someone else. . . I want to say her ring had a blue stone in it. 
  • That's really helpful, thanks!

    @emmyg65 did you ask him if he preferred to propose first or did it just come up? As I said, B has mentioned he'd like me to propose also, but there's been no talk of who should go first. Our discussions about our own thoughts around engagement and proposals have been evolving over the past few months, so maybe it will just be a part of the conversation that develops naturally!
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    @leia1979 - I think CateMeg was the one who got proposed to while she was getting out of the shower. But she did give her FI (well probably H by now) a watch after the proposal as like an engagement present I think.


    loves2shop4shoes
  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches the Northern Plains member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    BF has said to me that I would take all the romance out of getting engaged if I proposed to him (and he's probably right, I'm not naturally big-gesture romantic).
  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches the Northern Plains member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    What an awesome story!
  • What a wonderful proposal! And wonderful stencil too. Thanks for sharing!
  • that thread brought back a lot of old names and faces!
  • mbross3 said:
    That's really helpful, thanks!

    @emmyg65 did you ask him if he preferred to propose first or did it just come up? As I said, B has mentioned he'd like me to propose also, but there's been no talk of who should go first. Our discussions about our own thoughts around engagement and proposals have been evolving over the past few months, so maybe it will just be a part of the conversation that develops naturally!
    I honestly don't really remember. I think I probably said something like, "Hey, maybe I could propose to you!" And he said, "That would be cool, but I'd like to propose to you first." He's a pretty go-with-the-flow guy, so when he does express opinions, I try to honor them.
  • I didn't propose to my FI, but I did know it was coming and had bought him a really nice Burberry watch, that I gave him after he proposed.
  • Today I told my BF that I was thinking about proposing to him. It seriously scared the crap out of him. We've known each other for 9 years but broke up in 2007. We have always maintained a great friendship and have recently started dating again. We plan to get married. I live in Raleigh, NC and he lives in NYC. I'm 28 and ready to get hitched...I hope he proposes soon!
    "The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it."  ~Albert Einstein
  • smalfrie19smalfrie19 Home of SB XLVIII Champs member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper
    Dolce313 said:
    Today I told my BF that I was thinking about proposing to him. It seriously scared the crap out of him. We've known each other for 9 years but broke up in 2007. We have always maintained a great friendship and have recently started dating again. We plan to get married. I live in Raleigh, NC and he lives in NYC. I'm 28 and ready to get hitched...I hope he proposes soon!
    Don't bet on it if it scared the crap out of him. 
    Anniversary
    image
    buddysmom80
  • @smalfrie19...I'm sorry I should have clarified that. It scared him because he said if I were to propose instead of him it would emasculate him not because he doesn't want to marry me. 
    "The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it."  ~Albert Einstein
  • edited November 2013
    My BF and I aren't too big on traditional gender roles, and I would propose to him in a heartbeat. I would do it now, but I know he would like to wait until we graduate in the Spring since he has a lot on his plate with school right now.

    I know that he won't wear a ring, even when we're married (He's an electrical engineer and isn't really a jewelry guy) so instead, he's getting an engagement gun. He's already picked out the style and everything. I know that probably sounds kind of redneck, but I swear we're not!

    Anyways, if you want to do it, you should do it! Even if isn't considered traditional or you haven't heard lots of stories of other people doing it.
    emmyg65
  • I plan to propose to my man sometime after my proposal. We informally talked about it just a few days ago. I took mental notes and decided last night that I would do it. Not sure if I will use a watch or a ring yet (he's been wanting a rolex). We'll see.

    I think its a great, non-traditional idea for those free spirits that live by their own rules within their relationship.
  • @powercouple2013 that sounds great! That's similar to what I'm thinking as well, to propose to him after he proposes to me. We aren't super into traditional gender roles, so I think it's perfect for us!

    It's nice to know we're not the only ones! :)
    Pepperally
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