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Asking the Wedding Party

Daenaria86Daenaria86 member
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I know a lot of people aren't a fan of giving a small momento when asking someone to be in your wedding party. Why? I'm not so sure. Don't really care. :) 

For those of us who do like the idea, this is what I'm doing. :) Two of my bridesmaid choices live out of state, so I'll send a really nice letter, then have her call me when she gets it and we can talk on the phone. For the ones local, I'll do it in person.
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Re: Asking the Wedding Party

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    Daenaria86Daenaria86 member
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    Daenaria86 said:
    I know a lot of people aren't a fan of giving a small momento when asking someone to be in your wedding party. Why? I'm not so sure. Don't really care. :) 

    Because the person you're asking may not be able or willing to be in the wedding party, and they may feel more pressure to accept by being offered a gift.  Also, they may not agree with you that "cutesy" and "gimmicky" gifts convey a sense of being wanted and appreciated.  Often, just asking them in a serious, dignified manner does this better than giving any "momentos."  People often have the same reactions to those as they do to "favors" that consist of engraved/inscribed trinkets-they're something that will never be used, add to clutter, and/or collect dust.
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    artbyallieartbyallie mod
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    In addition to @Jen4948's excellent points, such trinkets also tend to send the message that the bride will expect too much time and effort from her bridesmaids to do crafty things or have multiple get-togethers, And it is not appropriate to ask anyone to do such things. If they offer after being asked to be a bridesmaid, fine. But those activities are just not everyone's cup of tea and people have many other demands on their time without worrying about someone else's wedding.
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    vk2204vk2204 member
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    Daenaria86 said:
    I know a lot of people aren't a fan of giving a small momento when asking someone to be in your wedding party. Why? I'm not so sure. Don't really care. :) 

    For those of us who do like the idea, this is what I'm doing. :) Two of my bridesmaid choices live out of state, so I'll send a really nice letter, then have her call me when she gets it and we can talk on the phone. For the ones local, I'll do it in person.
    I know you don't care but I am going to give my opinion anyways. It depends what kind of gift we are talking about here... you give me a bottle of Southern Comfort and ask me to drink it with you on your wedding day? Shit yeah I will. You give me something that says bridesmaid on it? I will think it is lame and a waste of money because I wil never ever use it again.
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    doeydodoeydo member
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    I agree with PPs, this may not be what you want to hear, but I wouldn't want or ever use anything with the word "bridesmaid" on it.  It also puts extra pressure on the person to say yes.  Additionally, I have a Christmas "theme" of red and gold and am very particular about it so I would not ever use one of those baubles, even if it didn't have "will you be my bridesmaid?" on it.  
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    Bubblegum5586Bubblegum5586 member
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    I like them! Very cute!
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    Alexandrathgr8Alexandrathgr8 member
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    I love them!
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    lovesclimbinglovesclimbing member
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    doeydo said:
    I agree with PPs, this may not be what you want to hear, but I wouldn't want or ever use anything with the word "bridesmaid" on it.  It also puts extra pressure on the person to say yes.  Additionally, I have a Christmas "theme" of red and gold and am very particular about it so I would not ever use one of those baubles, even if it didn't have "will you be my bridesmaid?" on it.  
    That's my theme too!

    If the gift was anything that said bridesmaid, I wouldn't like it.  If it was a t-shirt, I would wear it again ... to paint or clean in.  Except I already have several painting shirts from my summer working at a tourist trap and I really don't need another.

    And if I was given a gift that I would use/enjoy/like, I would love it if I said yes but if I had to say no for whatever reason, I would feel a thousand times worse than if I had been asked without a gift.
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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
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    Stuff like that reminds me of the things my college friends in sororities made for their sorority sisters.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    tigersgirlgvtigersgirlgv member
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    I think they're cute, but I also think that I wouldn't really want to hang one on my Christmas tree. I would feel conflicted about throwing it away because it has sentimental value, but I probably wouldn't hang it up either. I think that when you're the bride you find these ideas really cute, but on the receiving end you don't really use them.
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