.

clarke10 · December 2013

I'm also not taking the FI's side. She did say in a PP that they only text now and then, so maybe he didn't realize how the situation might look to his FI since they aren't constantly talking. But really I don't think the fact that he's talking to this girl is the issue, I think its the fact that he disregards his FI's concerns about everything.

PrettyGirlLost · December 2013

clarke10 said:

I'm also not taking the FI's side. She did say in a PP that they only text now and then, so maybe he didn't realize how the situation might look to his FI since they aren't constantly talking. But really I don't think the fact that he's talking to this girl is the issue, I think its the fact that he disregards his FI's concerns about everything.

I agree!

zitiqueen · December 2013

I think we can all agree that, regardless of the angle, this relationship sounds doomed.

phira · December 2013

zitiqueen said:

I think we can all agree that, regardless of the angle, this relationship sounds doomed.

Yeah, that's where I stand on this. Cancel the wedding for sure.

clarke10 · December 2013

phira said:

zitiqueen said:

I think we can all agree that, regardless of the angle, this relationship sounds doomed.

Yeah, that's where I stand on this. Cancel the wedding for sure.

Agreed.

phira · December 2013

clarke10 said:

phira said:

zitiqueen said:

I think we can all agree that, regardless of the angle, this relationship sounds doomed.

Yeah, that's where I stand on this. Cancel the wedding for sure.

Agreed.

I mean, I feel terrible saying it. I would feel really upset if I came on here for advice, and the advice was, "Cancel your wedding." But it doesn't sound like the OP is very happy, and whether the fiance is in the wrong, or the OP is overly sensitive, or whatever ... it really doesn't sound like being married is going to change anything after fighting about this for 5 years.

arrippa · December 2013

The OP is so focused on this one issue, she is missing the bigger problem. Sort of like not seeing the forest for the trees.

PrettyGirlLost · December 2013

phira said:

clarke10 said:

phira said:

zitiqueen said:

I think we can all agree that, regardless of the angle, this relationship sounds doomed.

Yeah, that's where I stand on this. Cancel the wedding for sure.

Agreed.

I mean, I feel terrible saying it. I would feel really upset if I came on here for advice, and the advice was, "Cancel your wedding." But it doesn't sound like the OP is very happy, and whether the fiance is in the wrong, or the OP is overly sensitive, or whatever ... it really doesn't sound like being married is going to change anything after fighting about this for 5 years.

Agreed with you all and loved you all :-P

MNVegas · December 2013

Seriously yet another post deleted after OP was quoted multiple times! Why bother posting in the first place?

PrettyGirlLost · December 2013

I thought the OP was being pretty receptive to what we were saying

aurorajanette · December 2013

I just don't get it. With the ., now it's screaming "READ ME! I'M INTERESTING AND PROBABLY CONTROVERSIAL!"

Amyzen83 · December 2013

I was wondering what this was, but then I read the post... maybe her question was answered but not in the way she wanted it? Our combined answer "postpone your wedding and work out your issues or ditch him" she's probably thinking, "But I still want my wedding, and my man's not the problem, this b---ch is." Even though FI is just as guilty if not more.

NYCBruin · December 2013

Might as well have changed the title to:

easilyunamused · December 2013

Leaving him would be too hard. Marrying him and constantly feeling inferior to another woman is WAY easier guys!

southernbelle0915 · December 2013

Again?

Amyzen83 · December 2013

Either way, it's her life, we gave her good solid advice, it's time for her to put on her big girl panties and do something with it or make up her own mind and live with the consequences.

cruffino · December 2013

For some reason I can't get back to the first page and don't remember this post. Boo.

312Emily · December 2013

@cruffino

I think this is the "Bachlore" [sic] party post from that really immature girl.

cupcait927 · December 2013

cruffino said:

For some reason I can't get back to the first page and don't remember this post. Boo.

I can't get back to the first page either!!

Amyzen83 · December 2013

emilyellyse said:
@cruffino

I think this is the "Bachlore" [sic] party post from that really immature girl.

I wouldn't call her immature... Yes she first came off that way but w her fiancé's behavior I'd be concerned too! I think she's just coming to the realization that her fi may not be all that committed to her and is in a state of denial and now we've confronted her with the fact she needs to call off the wedding which I'm sure she's already invested so much time and money into. That would make anyone crazy. So yea calling her immature is really insensitive.

zitiqueen · December 2013

Google cache is your friend.

RebeccaB88 · December 2013

I just hope she hasn't latched onto the few who told her she was overreacting and to just trust her FI. That man cannot be trusted and is up to no good. I hope she comes back and updates later but I'm not optimistic. They rarely do. Just hoping the best for her.

zitiqueen · December 2013

Google cache is your friend.

RebeccaB88 said:

I just hope she hasn't latched onto the few who told her she was overreacting and to just trust her FI. That man cannot be trusted and is up to no good. I hope she comes back and updates later but I'm not optimistic. They rarely do. Just hoping the best for her.

My fear is she's in denial about her FI being the one she should be placing the blame squarely on. That's what I think she didn't want to hear.

RebeccaB88 · December 2013

zitiqueen said:

Google cache is your friend.

RebeccaB88 said:

I just hope she hasn't latched onto the few who told her she was overreacting and to just trust her FI. That man cannot be trusted and is up to no good. I hope she comes back and updates later but I'm not optimistic. They rarely do. Just hoping the best for her.
My fear is she's in denial about her FI being the one she should be placing the blame squarely on. That's what I think she didn't want to hear.

True. I still place a lot of the blame for my breakup on the little homewrecker involved, but it was a two way street and my ex certainly could have shut it down hard had he wanted to. Instead he encouraged it. He wanted to see how much he could get away with and his ego was stoked by having two of us wanting him. Glad he's now miserable because he earned it. Sounds like this guy is pretty similar and if they break up, he will just shrug it off and go on. My heart goes out to her because I've been there and it took me awhile to assign the appropriate amount of blame where it belonged, on him.

BlueBirdMB · December 2013

I'm reading that a lot of people on here don't see a problem with this guy being friends with his ex. I personally see a huge problem with that in itself. But the biggest problem is this:

OP is upset about it. This relationship with the ex is ruining her relationship. Regardless of whether her feelings are warranted, her feelings are her only reality, so it's the only reality that matters. If her FI isn't willing to do whatever it takes to make his marriage strong, then he is immature and unwilling to sacrifice and work for his marriage. This is a recipe for disaster.

I would and my husband would do anything to fix our problems. If a friendship was hurting our relationship, I would end that friendship because my marriage is the most important thing to me. I trust that my husband isn't insane and that his feelings aren't crazy, and he trusts the same from me. So if we ever got our feelings hurt, I would trust that those feelings were a reality that needed to fixed.

OP, if your husband can't trust that your feelings are your reality, or if he is unwilling to sacrifice to fix your problems together, then he is not someone who deserves your heart.

climbingsingle · December 2013

A long time ago in 2004 when I was marrying the wrong dude, the ladies of The Knot tried to tell me I was making a mistake. I was terrified of calling off the wedding. I didn't listen and I went through with it. And I ended up divorced and in financial ruin.

But, I learned my lesson.

LDay2014 · December 2013

RebeccaB88 said:

zitiqueen said:

Google cache is your friend.

RebeccaB88 said:

I just hope she hasn't latched onto the few who told her she was overreacting and to just trust her FI. That man cannot be trusted and is up to no good. I hope she comes back and updates later but I'm not optimistic. They rarely do. Just hoping the best for her.
My fear is she's in denial about her FI being the one she should be placing the blame squarely on. That's what I think she didn't want to hear.

True. I still place a lot of the blame for my breakup on the little homewrecker involved, but it was a two way street and my ex certainly could have shut it down hard had he wanted to. Instead he encouraged it. He wanted to see how much he could get away with and his ego was stoked by having two of us wanting him. Glad he's now miserable because he earned it. Sounds like this guy is pretty similar and if they break up, he will just shrug it off and go on. My heart goes out to her because I've been there and it took me awhile to assign the appropriate amount of blame where it belonged, on him.

I second this. In our situation, while he was absolutely in the wrong (and he knows that) I also have to acknowledge the fact that she KNEW he was taken and pursued him continually. Honestly, what kind of woman does that?

RebeccaB88 · December 2013

lauracichelly said:

RebeccaB88 said:

zitiqueen said:

Google cache is your friend.

RebeccaB88 said:

I just hope she hasn't latched onto the few who told her she was overreacting and to just trust her FI. That man cannot be trusted and is up to no good. I hope she comes back and updates later but I'm not optimistic. They rarely do. Just hoping the best for her.
My fear is she's in denial about her FI being the one she should be placing the blame squarely on. That's what I think she didn't want to hear.

True. I still place a lot of the blame for my breakup on the little homewrecker involved, but it was a two way street and my ex certainly could have shut it down hard had he wanted to. Instead he encouraged it. He wanted to see how much he could get away with and his ego was stoked by having two of us wanting him. Glad he's now miserable because he earned it. Sounds like this guy is pretty similar and if they break up, he will just shrug it off and go on. My heart goes out to her because I've been there and it took me awhile to assign the appropriate amount of blame where it belonged, on him.

I second this. In our situation, while he was absolutely in the wrong (and he knows that) I also have to acknowledge the fact that she KNEW he was taken and pursued him continually. Honestly, what kind of woman does that?

Exactly that. She knew too, and made it a point to tell everyone she would 'win' . Yep, hope she's happy with her prize, a narcissistic felon who will probably never be able to get a job again. I have my freedom.

Amyzen83 · December 2013

Right? What gets me is that these catty women who actually succeed in destroying these relationships actually are delusional enough to think that the wandering guy won't pull the same crap with them! Everybody loses here except narcissistic douche monkey of a man

RebeccaB88 · December 2013

Sounds like this girl's fiance to me.

.

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