Why doesn't anyone seem to like my ring? Please be honest!

snljunkie · December 2013

Okay, so I wear both of my rings daily (engagement and wedding band), and oddly enough, only my wedding band gets the occasional compliment, and not my engagement ring. My husband and I did order my engagement ring through blue nile, and he likes it, and I just thought it was okay. It IS different, since the norm is one round diamond set high. Basically, we just never sent it back, when maybe we should have if I was unsure about it. Ever since, I've been thinking of getting the diamonds reset in another ring for one of our anniversaries. What are everyone's thoughts? My husband says I can do what I wish, but that if it were him, he would rather keep the first ring no matter what, since it's got sentimental value - and although I see his viewpoint, I'm not sure I agree since I will be keeping the original diamonds.

Also, what are the honest thoughts on my rings? No one will tell me in person what their thoughts are! Thanks ahead of time!

HisGirlFriday13 · December 2013

I can't really see your photo --it's super-tiny on my phone and when I blow it up it gets distorted -- but it seems fine.

It looks to be a standard three-stone setting, which is NMS, but that a lot of people like.

However, on your thread on WW, you said you picked out and ordered your ring and then gave it to your now-H to give to you.

Is the question you're really asking for validation about your own choices? Do you want people to tell you you have good taste?

ETA: I figured out how to resize the image. The rings don't look -- to me --like a set, they look mis-matched. Neither of them is something I would pick for myself, but they're not ugly.

snljunkie · December 2013

No. Actually, I was looking at one stone rings on blue nile - still princess cut, and my husband liked the three stone better. I chose the size of diamonds, metal type, etc, but left that choice - which is actually a major one, to him. Received the ring in the mail, and then like I stated, didn't love it, but my husband thought it was beautiful and I was crazy. I kept it and now I keep seeing the same gaps between the stones, not getting compliments, etc. I won't be tacky and reveal the price of it, but it's too expensive really, to not get the diamonds set in a diff setting.

Anyway, I tried uploading the actual size of the file and it timed out, then tried the large file and it never ended up finishing the upload. The medium size file is the only one that uploaded. Not sure how to help that. Also, the pic is not sideways on my computer. Ug.

snljunkie · December 2013

And furthermore, HisGirlFriday13, I do appreciate the psychoanalysis

but that is truly not it in this case. That's funny, too, because it sounds like something I would respond to someone.

I'm really torn on this ring. I wish I could say that you were right and I liked it and I wanted someone to just validate my taste, but no.

snljunkie · December 2013

Ah, apparently, if you click on it, it will open in another window, and although it's still sideways, it's a decent size to see the ring clearly.

HisGirlFriday13 · December 2013

OK, well, I gave you an answer. It's a perfectly lovely set that's NMS. I would never tell someone if I didn't like her ring, unless she asked, and even then, I would temper what I said.

snljunkie · December 2013

Thanks! I'm okay with hearing honesty about it because I can afford to change it at this point - just also wondering about the idea of changing it - when considering the sentiment argument and all.

Anyway, thanks for the response and hopefully others will comment, too!

ETA: you are right - they are mismatched. That happens when you order your band over a year after your engagement ring, and decide on a different band instead of the matching one, because you don't really love the matching band (or the ring)! Thought I'd go with the band I liked better, even though it was mismatched.

KytchynWitche · December 2013

The important thing here is not what other people think of the ring, it's what you think of it. If you love it, then who cares what other people say about it. If you don't love it, then have the stones reset in something you do love, if you can afford it.

I don't think that the engagement ring and wedding band necessarily have to work as a set. Mine don't, but then I'll only be wearing my wedding band most of the time, and my engagement ring will go on my right hand when I do wear it.

If you like your engagement ring as it is now but don't like the way it fits with your band (or if you can't afford to have your ring reset right now), you could try that option maybe?

hlvonb · December 2013

I don't think they look good together. I think they both look lovely on their own but together not so much since they are different styles. I would say maybe just wear the wedding band and put the engagement ring in a jewelry box / somewhere safe.

Another option could be to wear the engagement ring on your other hand or on a necklace of some sort.

But like urbaneca said, it's what YOU think about it. Every person who is on TK could give their opinons until the cows come home but ultimately it comes down to YOU.

krizzo17 · December 2013

My bet is that people compliment your wedding ring because it's different than the typical wedding band (It looks like maybe you got a "floating diamond" setting, whereas I'd think the most common wedding band setting is pave), whereas the style of engagement ring you have is pretty common.

Swazzle · December 2013

Why do you care so much about what other people think of your ring? You're the one who has to wear it.

artbyallie · December 2013

I think the key here is that your e-ring just does not have a lot to comment on. It's a very basic, and fairly common style. People just aren't going to go out of their way to say something about it. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with it.

I do get a lot of compliments on my set, which was bought from two different places and was not made to go together, but they do match pretty nicely. But I have a sapphire solitaire and sapphires on my wedding band, so they are very outside the norm and naturally attract more attention, IMO.

ktjanesmom · December 2013

This seems weird to me. Your ring is pretty but it does look a little old fashioned. Seems like a decent amount of carat weight but most women would say that doesnt matter. If I randomly looked at your ring I would probably say" thats really nice" . What do you want/expect people to say?

TiaTea · December 2013

I only see the tiny picture and from what it looks like, it's very well balanced( shape/size) for the shape of your hand.

Personally I am not a big fan of two rings on the same finger. Yes, it is the way people wear them, if they wear the engagement AND the wedding ring. But unless it is a set , made to look like it is all part of ONE ring, I don't like it.
So I am with @hlvonb on this one: switch one of them to another finger or to the other hand. ( You would be surprised how many people wear wedding rings on the right hand as a tradition )

I would also agree with your husband. I don't care what anything looks like, if it has santimental value. Just can't stand when someone says that Fi proposed with a small ring, but they are "upgrading" later

But to answer your question, I believe that a lot has to do with trends. Just like in clothes , there are trends in engagement rings and people get conditioned to like whatever is trendy at the moment, and generally compliment things that are commonly percieved as "the norm" at the moment. Read this article http://kasadesigns.com/trends-in-engagement-rings/ and then check out the pictures in this tread http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/712784/show-off-your-ring/p20
It's just like the the article said : "The most popular trend in bridal right now is old world craftsmanship. Engraving and filigree with a new twist are gracing the show cases. Small sparkly diamonds running down the sides of the finger are also a must for a well-appointed ring. Halos around the center stone are still very popular..."

climbingsingle · December 2013

I also don't understand why other people's opinions matter so much to you. Who cares if you get compliments on your ring? Do you like it? If not, then change it.

I agree that they don't really match or go together.

southernbelle0915 · December 2013

Swazzle said:
Why do you care so much about what other people think of your ring? You're the one who has to wear it.

This. You got these rings because your husband committed his life to you and you wear them because you committed the same. Who fucking cares what anyone else thinks?

emmyg65 · December 2013

I think I have the most beautiful wedding ring in the world, but after my wedding day, no one has said a word about it. I don't think I've ever complimented someone else's ring either. Rings are personal. Stop seeking external validation for your choices.

tmclawchick · December 2013

Who cares? I have a very modest engagement ring, and I freaking love it to death because of the meaning/sentimental value behind it. Sorry to come off as bitchy, but if the fact that nobody comments on your ring is a problem for you, then you might want to re-evaluate your priorities.

bakerie · December 2013

I agree with PP that you care way too much about what others think. Who cares if people never compliment your ring, but compliment your wedding band? If someone compliments your shirt do you think "Oh no! Why don't they like my pants??"? See how silly that sounds? If you really don't like your ring and it's going to bother you forever, then change it. But if you're just worried about other people then you need to get over it. I don't think I have ever had my engagement ring complimented except by obvious people like friends and family when I showed it to them the first time.

thejucheidea · December 2013

Yeah, not my style in the least, but I also don't like boxy and high carat rings -- they seem gaudy to me. I don't think it's an issue of them not matching -- I think it just looks like so much ring.

audubonbride2013 · December 2013

emmyg65 said:

I think I have the most beautiful wedding ring in the world, but after my wedding day, no one has said a word about it. I don't think I've ever complimented someone else's ring either. Rings are personal. Stop seeking external validation for your choices.

I completely agree with this. I can't even remember the last time someone complimented me on my rings. It's not something people seem to comment on after the initial engagement. I love my set and that's what matters.

clarke10 · December 2013

Well obviously the important thing is whether or not you like it since you're the one wearing it. Do you not like it?

I would also like to say that just because people don't compliment it doesn't mean everyone dislikes it.

doeydo · December 2013

It looks like a standard 3 stone setting. I don't prefer that cut of diamond, I prefer round or oval, but if you like it then that is fine. If you are unhappy with it and your FI is fine with you putting it in a different setting, then I say go for it since you are going to be wearing it 'til death do you part'. ETA also, if you prefer the solitaire/one diamond setting, why not make it into a solitaire and do something else with the two side stones, perhaps you could use them in a pair of earrings.

snljunkie · December 2013

To all who commented on not getting complimented on their ring - I didn't know that was so common. I have heard others in person get complimented on their rings, but it seems from PP's that it's rarer than I thought.

To all who commented on "external validation," well yes, that's correct if I'm totally honest. I did grow up with no money in a very rich town and I was made fun of for my parents jobs and always was the kid with the crappy no-name brand clothes and 20 year old rusted and holes in the seats POSs. I was never popular or even really understood, and I don't think I was very accepted. I guess I was kind of a loner. Anyway, yes, my husband and I are now doing well financially, and I do find myself trying to have a nicer status purse, car, or ring. Otherwise, I'm the same person I always was.

When I get time tonight, I'll look at the links, TiaTea provided, thanks! And thanks to others who were honest about whether they liked the rings or not. I already was aware that the single stone is preferred, so I half expected the comments of it not being people's style.

Does anyone prefer the three stone ring? Also, frankly ladies, my husband and I spent a lot of money on the rings, and if people don't like it, and I don't really like it, that sucks! One of the things I do like about it is that it does shine very nice since there are multiple good quality diamonds on it. I also like that it's a good carat weight, but due to the setting, it's not too gaudy. It's lower profile. It doesn't scream it's carat weight.

Maggie0829 · December 2013

It seems like the only way for you to be happy is to find a ring that people will constantly ooh and ahh over for years and years. Good look with that.

tmclawchick · December 2013

snljunkie said:

To all who commented on not getting complimented on their ring - I didn't know that was so common. I have heard others in person get complimented on their rings, but it seems from PP's that it's rarer than I thought.

To all who commented on "external validation," well yes, that's correct if I'm totally honest. I did grow up with no money in a very rich town and I was made fun of for my parents jobs and always was the kid with the crappy no-name brand clothes and 20 year old rusted and holes in the seats POSs. I was never popular or even really understood, and I don't think I was very accepted. I guess I was kind of a loner. Anyway, yes, my husband and I are now doing well financially, and I do find myself trying to have a nicer status purse, car, or ring. Otherwise, I'm the same person I always was.

When I get time tonight, I'll look at the links, TiaTea provided, thanks! And thanks to others who were honest about whether they liked the rings or not. I already was aware that the single stone is preferred, so I half expected the comments of it not being people's style.

Does anyone prefer the three stone ring? Also, frankly ladies, my husband and I spent a lot of money on the rings, and if people don't like it, and I don't really like it, that sucks! One of the things I do like about it is that it does shine very nice since there are multiple good quality diamonds on it. I also like that it's a good carat weight, but due to the setting, it's not too gaudy. It's lower profile. It doesn't scream it's carat weight.

::head desk::

Again, I ask, who caaaaaaaares what internet strangers (or anyone else) think about your ring?

I stand by what I said. If this is a problem for you (which clearly it is), you might want to take a hard look at your priorities. Your "status purse", car, ring are not important, and if you think they are then you're setting yourself up for a lifetime of misery/always wanting more. This all seems very silly to me.

Maggie0829 · December 2013

To all who commented on not getting complimented on their ring - I didn't know that was so common. I have heard others in person get complimented on their rings, but it seems from PP's that it's rarer than I thought.

To all who commented on "external validation," well yes, that's correct if I'm totally honest. I did grow up with no money in a very rich town and I was made fun of for my parents jobs and always was the kid with the crappy no-name brand clothes and 20 year old rusted and holes in the seats POSs. I was never popular or even really understood, and I don't think I was very accepted. I guess I was kind of a loner. Anyway, yes, my husband and I are now doing well financially, and I do find myself trying to have a nicer status purse, car, or ring. Otherwise, I'm the same person I always was.

When I get time tonight, I'll look at the links, TiaTea provided, thanks! And thanks to others who were honest about whether they liked the rings or not. I already was aware that the single stone is preferred, so I half expected the comments of it not being people's style.

Does anyone prefer the three stone ring? Also, frankly ladies, my husband and I spent a lot of money on the rings, and if people don't like it, and I don't really like it, that sucks! One of the things I do like about it is that it does shine very nice since there are multiple good quality diamonds on it. I also like that it's a good carat weight, but due to the setting, it's not too gaudy. It's lower profile. It doesn't scream it's carat weight.

It seems like you are trying to make up for the life you had as a kid. Look when you flaunt your wealth with name brand shit and a ring that "shows it's weight on carats" you come off as a spoiled uppity brat. At the end of the day if you really hate your ring then get a new one. But for fuck sakes, forget about what everyone else thinks about your ring or the bag y carry or the clothes you wear because that is not important. What is important is how you treat others and your character. If all you care about are having the finer things in life to impress others then you are doing it wrong.

climbingsingle · December 2013

Good lord. Who cares what other people think about your freaking rings!! Do what makes you happy. If YOU don't like them, have them changed.

Belthil · December 2013

Not that it really should make a difference in what you decide to do but my sister loves the three stone look and I've been told that's what I should direct the guy that wants to propose to.

But like PP said it shouldn't matter what other people think. All that matters is the emotions and memories the rings evoke in you.

thejucheidea · December 2013

alisonmarie658 said:

If you didn't want a three stone ring in the first place, why didn't you just tell you now-H that before he proposed? Seriously, get over yourself.

She actually bought her own ring and took her husband out and made him propose -- check out her post on WW.

tmclawchick · December 2013

thejucheidea said:

alisonmarie658 said:

If you didn't want a three stone ring in the first place, why didn't you just tell you now-H that before he proposed? Seriously, get over yourself.
She actually bought her own ring and took her husband out and made him propose -- check out her post on WW.

Nice. *pops popcorn now*

Why doesn't anyone seem to like my ring? Please be honest!

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