Bridesmaid dress expectations

[Deleted User] · December 2013

I've been watching say yes to the dress bridesmaids today and this is crazy!!

What is a realistic expectation for a budget for the bridesmaids dresses? I honestly would not be in a wedding if the dress was going to cost me $500 I swear. That would be crazy to me!!

How much of an input do people really expect to get?

I haven't even picked my bridesmaids yet and I think I've picked my dresses, they are infinity wrap dresses that I feel will be flattering on everyone and can be worn several different ways so that's cool but I don't know what I would do if one of my girls hated them.

I have also picked my color. I'm not willing to compromise on my color of the wedding! I already did compromise with my FI and we talked and bargained and chose and are set.

Do bridesmaids expect to pick their colors???

These shows drive me crazy! Lol (adddddicted!!)

KPBM89 · December 2013

When looking for BM dresses, I literally told my girls to pick whatever they wanted. They all took a different style into their dressing rooms and when they came out, they all gravitated toward the one my SIL was in. Even though I was totally fine with them all getting something different, they all turned out to love one dress, especially when they each got to try it on. And they all agreed on one color (I just told them peach, which came down to 2 shades and they picked the same one, though my MOH might do the lighter shade). The best part is, without even looking at the price before trying on the dress, they managed to pick up a dress that's only $99 and they get $20 off so it's only $79. I just wanted them to be comfortable...with the style, the price, and the color. They were so great to shop with and I'm really glad they love the dress they chose.

Alexandrathgr8 · December 2013

I am having my bm's in different shades of blue- i'm going to assign them a shade and them have them pick out a dress in the shade(or relatively the shade)... that way they can find dresses that make them feel good and are in their price range. I would just play it by ear, you may hate the dress once it's on them, and honestly if i were in a wedding and the dress wasn't my favorite but it was what the bride wanted then i'd wear it anyway.. it's not about them.

artbyallie · December 2013

For the record, those infinity dresses work on exactly no one. They show every lump and bump and the straps do not stay put when you tie them in the various ways. Usually there's maybe one way that might be relatively secure, but honestly they're a cool idea poorly executed.

emmyg65 · December 2013

I think brides should ask their maids what their budgets are and if they have any strong preferences or requirements, and then do their best to accommodate reasonable requests. For example, a lot of women would prefer to wear a dress that they can wear a regular bra with. Others have religious requirements for modesty. And some people have different gender expressions and would rather not wear a dress at all.

Remember that these are people that you love, not props, and presumably you want them to be happy and comfortable.

doeydo · December 2013

You should talk to each of your BMs in private and ask what their budget is, then you can shop for dresses that fit within the lowest budget. Or, you can just instruct them to pick out whatever dresses they like in a certain colour, length, and/or material.

BMoreBride6 · December 2013

1) You ask your bridesmaids ALONE what their budget is. You go with the lowest. Don't even suggest or bring up dresses over this point (even when they all have their budgets set, once you get people in a group and everyone starts talking about wanting a more expensive dress, the person with the lower budget will often be too embarrassed to say they can't afford it and get stuck paying more than they can handle). If you want them all in the same dress and someone "just wants to try" a dress more expensive then the lowest budget, you nix it right away

2) Those infinity dresses are horrible. They are expensive and literally look good on no one. The material is cheap and thin and literally shows every little flaw. They are close to impossible to wear any type of bra with and rarely stayed tied. Don't do that to your girls.

3) Most people who are close enough to you to be in your wedding will want nothing more than for you to have a wonderful wedding...but keep in mind you don't want them to be miserable either.

misssunshine17 · December 2013

Those infinity dresses look like hell on people. I'm a 0 jeans and 32A and I looked short and frumpy. Girls with boobs looked like blobs. Such a waste of money. Give them a color and let them choose their own dresses. You MUST ask them a budget ahead of time and don't go over it. If you choose a dress they can't afford, you pay the difference.

KatWAG · December 2013

clairekundinger said:

I've been watching say yes to the dress bridesmaids today and this is crazy!! What is a realistic expectation for a budget for the bridesmaids dresses? I honestly would not be in a wedding if the dress was going to cost me $500 I swear. That would be crazy to me!! How much of an input do people really expect to get? I haven't even picked my bridesmaids yet and I think I've picked my dresses, they are infinity wrap dresses that I feel will be flattering on everyone and can be worn several different ways so that's cool but I don't know what I would do if one of my girls hated them. I have also picked my color. I'm not willing to compromise on my color of the wedding! I already did compromise with my FI and we talked and bargained and chose and are set. Do bridesmaids expect to pick their colors??? These shows drive me crazy! Lol (adddddicted!!)

Are you talking about the Two Birds Dresses? If so, I would urge you to reconsider. The material is really cheap for these dresses, they have no support and literally show every single lump and bump. So unless all your girls are size 0-2 and a size A bra, I would pick something else.

pumpkinsandturkeys · December 2013

KatWAG said:

clairekundinger said:

I've been watching say yes to the dress bridesmaids today and this is crazy!! What is a realistic expectation for a budget for the bridesmaids dresses? I honestly would not be in a wedding if the dress was going to cost me $500 I swear. That would be crazy to me!! How much of an input do people really expect to get? I haven't even picked my bridesmaids yet and I think I've picked my dresses, they are infinity wrap dresses that I feel will be flattering on everyone and can be worn several different ways so that's cool but I don't know what I would do if one of my girls hated them. I have also picked my color. I'm not willing to compromise on my color of the wedding! I already did compromise with my FI and we talked and bargained and chose and are set. Do bridesmaids expect to pick their colors??? These shows drive me crazy! Lol (adddddicted!!)
Are you talking about the Two Birds Dresses? If so, I would urge you to reconsider. The material is really cheap for these dresses, they have no support and literally show every single lump and bump. So unless all your girls are size 0-2 and a size A bra, I would pick something else.

My SIL actually wore one of the Two Birds dresses for a wedding and LOVED it, and she's about a size 16/18 and is VERY well-endowed. She's letting my sister borrow it to be MOH in my wedding, and just suggested making sure that you buy the accompanying bandeau so you can wear the bra of your choice. However, I do agree that, in general, these dresses aren't the 'magic solution' they tout themselves to be.

KatWAG · December 2013

pumpkinsandturkeys said:

KatWAG said:

clairekundinger said:

I've been watching say yes to the dress bridesmaids today and this is crazy!! What is a realistic expectation for a budget for the bridesmaids dresses? I honestly would not be in a wedding if the dress was going to cost me $500 I swear. That would be crazy to me!! How much of an input do people really expect to get? I haven't even picked my bridesmaids yet and I think I've picked my dresses, they are infinity wrap dresses that I feel will be flattering on everyone and can be worn several different ways so that's cool but I don't know what I would do if one of my girls hated them. I have also picked my color. I'm not willing to compromise on my color of the wedding! I already did compromise with my FI and we talked and bargained and chose and are set. Do bridesmaids expect to pick their colors??? These shows drive me crazy! Lol (adddddicted!!)
Are you talking about the Two Birds Dresses? If so, I would urge you to reconsider. The material is really cheap for these dresses, they have no support and literally show every single lump and bump. So unless all your girls are size 0-2 and a size A bra, I would pick something else.

My SIL actually wore one of the Two Birds dresses for a wedding and LOVED it, and she's about a size 16/18 and is VERY well-endowed. She's letting my sister borrow it to be MOH in my wedding, and just suggested making suire that you buy the accompanying bandeau so you can wear the bra of your choice. However, I do agree that, in general, these dresses aren't the 'magic solution' they tout themselves to be.

We are going to have to agree to disagree. I have never seen this dress look good on anyone, no matter their size. And the bandeau is really flimsy and doesnt provide any support. Also because the material is slippery (and cheap) the knots you tie will come undone when you dance.

jdluvr06 · December 2013

I'm letting my BMs pick their own dresses in either yellow or black. I think most of them are opting for black.

Kauris · December 2013

I'm buying my 2 BMs their dresses, having been in 5 weddings, and never been able to "wear this 'amazing' dress again," it silly for me to expect them to buy something that is essentially for my benefit.

I am staying under $150, and they can choose different or the same dresses. All I ask is they choose a short, navy dress, should be easy.

hyechica81 · December 2013

get the budget first and dont go over it unless you ask them at the time you are looking say hey would you be willing to pay 10 more if you found something outside the range. be set on the color its your wedding the color you pick but let them decided on the dress

when we went my heart was set on teal or aqua and long for the longest time my sister moh was telling me no long i want short i want a bright color no blue.

at the appointment her and the maids that were able to come were trying on short dresses and they did nothing for them.

we ended up finding a long dress in a seaglass blue color and it was 20 over budget but my maids were ok with spending the extra 20

[Deleted User] · December 2013

I've never seen an infinity dress look bad on anyone!! Is this personal experience?

Senecaf · December 2013

I tried to tell my girls to just pick a navy dress and they all freaked on me. They want me to pick, they think it will be easier. I do not. Aside from color I honestly don't care what they wear, I just want them to be comfortable. They are all different shapes and have different styles. They may regret this.

[Deleted User] · December 2013

I want the uniformity! I also want similar shoes but I'm thinking something easy like flip flops! Out wedding is pretty low key (maybe not flip flop low key but I don't know yet!)

doeydo · December 2013

You can have uniformity of the same colour and material without getting the infinity dresses that might come undone and give someone a wardrobe malfunction, be made of cheap material, or be really unflattering. As an example, with David's Bridal you can search by colour and find a lot of dresses in the colours. So, you could just say for them to pick out David's Bridal 'Watermelon' dresses and maybe give them a specific length or whatever else. http://www.davidsbridal.com/Browse_Bridal-Party-Bridesmaids-All-Bridesmaid-Dresses

manateehugger · December 2013

The infinity dresses are ones of the biggest lies ever sold. With tape and pins, they look passable. But at the end of the day - you're wrapping a piece of polyester around yourself.

I picked a color, fabric, and designer and said "Go Forth!" Best decision. They're happy with the dress they bought, and I think they still look "uniform."

[Deleted User] · December 2013

My sister did that and I still hated my dress, we all hated our dresses because the designer was awful and the color was poop brown. No one is happy in a poop brown dress that has a designer that wants a deep V on every dress he makes. I want all my girls in the same dress... I'm not saying its my way or the highway, because I certainly will let them help choose but I like the one dress thing. Who has actual experience with the infinity dress? Does anyone have pictures?

[Deleted User] · December 2013

My sister did that and I still hated my dress, we all hated our dresses because the designer was awful and the color was poop brown. No one is happy in a poop brown dress that has a designer that wants a deep V on every dress he makes. I want all my girls in the same dress... I'm not saying its my way or the highway, because I certainly will let them help choose but I like the one dress thing. Who has actual experience with the infinity dress? Does anyone have pictures?

artbyallie · December 2013

I have owned several, all of which I have since gotten rid of. I never wore any of them for long because they wouldn't stay put. I think I wore one once for a few hours, but most of the time I put one on, I freaked and ripped it off again after getting frustrated with the stupid ineffectual ties. They are not made for any kind of movement at all. Come on -- you don't want your bridesmaids walking down the aisle with their dress falling apart!

I was in my cousin's wedding this past Saturday and she chose the Alexia Designs line and let us choose any dress in navy shantung. We looked fabulous and there were some very different necklines going on. Two chose strapless, I was in a one shoulder, one had a high neckline, and the other two had Vs.

[Deleted User] · December 2013

artbyallie said:
I have owned several, all of which I have since gotten rid of. I never wore any of them for long because they wouldn't stay put. I think I wore one once for a few hours, but most of the time I put one on, I freaked and ripped it off again after getting frustrated with the stupid ineffectual ties. They are not made for any kind of movement at all. Come on -- you don't want your bridesmaids walking down the aisle with their dress falling apart!

I was in my cousin's wedding this past Saturday and she chose the Alexia Designs line and let us choose any dress in navy shantung. We looked fabulous and there were some very different necklines going on. Two chose strapless, I was in a one shoulder, one had a high neckline, and the other two had Vs.

Where did you buy them from?

southernbelle0915 · December 2013

Yea... I have to agree with PPs. The infinity dress is awesome in concept, but looks like crap in person. No amount of spanx, pins and tape can help that dress. @PDKH is right on - at the end of the day, it's a piece of polyester wrapped around your body.

I also wanted to give my BMs options since they had vastly different body types. I picked a designer (Ann Taylor), a color (navy), a fabric (silk georgette), and a length (knee) and told them to get whatever they wanted. There ended up being 4 or 5 dresses to choose from. Because they're actually high quality, tailored dresses, it's something they can wear again. You can do this with any designer. I also looked at David's Bridal, Alfred Angelo, and J.Crew.

manateehugger · December 2013

clairekundinger said:

I have owned several, all of which I have since gotten rid of. I never wore any of them for long because they wouldn't stay put. I think I wore one once for a few hours, but most of the time I put one on, I freaked and ripped it off again after getting frustrated with the stupid ineffectual ties. They are not made for any kind of movement at all. Come on -- you don't want your bridesmaids walking down the aisle with their dress falling apart!

I was in my cousin's wedding this past Saturday and she chose the Alexia Designs line and let us choose any dress in navy shantung. We looked fabulous and there were some very different necklines going on. Two chose strapless, I was in a one shoulder, one had a high neckline, and the other two had Vs.
Where did you buy them from?

The one I had to buy was from Two Birds. Seriously though - there's no way these dresses can be nice without serious work and spanx. Think about dresses that are very flattering - they have shape and structure on their own that flatter your figure. A piece of fabric simply can't do that for you; seriously, we were all talking about how we felt like we were trying to re-create our togas from college. And it's an expensive piece of fabric!

artbyallie · December 2013

@clairekundinger, the ones I recall were bought at the beach and from Avon, though I'm not sure how that matters. They're all constructed of the same jersey type material in the same format. It's not like an actual formal dress that you can find in varying levels of quality. The fabric has to be thin and stretchy regardless.

BMoreBride6 · December 2013

clairekundinger said:

I've never seen an infinity dress look bad on anyone!! Is this personal experience?

Yes. I was at a wedding where the girls (all sizes 2-8) wore these...they get have to be readjusted AND the photographer couldn't use certain flash settings because it made the dress see through in the photos...don't do it.

BMoreBride6 · December 2013

Also I'm confused if you're so concerned with uniformity, why do you want them to have a dress they ALL wear differently? Look no one is trying rain on your parade I promise, just trying to help you avoid something that will make your friends horribly uncomfortable. And plus, they are very expensive.

ei34 · December 2013

I asked my two co-MOHs and bridesmaid to wear any dress they liked in any shade of purple. I had no preference about designer, style, length, fabric...they all found a dress they could afford and felt comfortable in, and they all looked beautiful. I'm still waiting to be a bridesmaid in a wedding like this myself...I'm 29 that's too old to parade around matching a bunch of other grown women!

To answer your question about budget of a bridesmaid dress, that's going to be something different for each BM. Ask each woman individually what she's comfortable with. The most I spent was $420, and it definitely rubbed me the wrong way (especially since the dress looked so heinous on me that I donated it to charity the day that I got it back from the dry cleaner after the wedding).

misssunshine17 · December 2013

BMoreBride6 said:

Also I'm confused if you're so concerned with uniformity, why do you want them to have a dress they ALL wear differently? Look no one is trying rain on your parade I promise, just trying to help you avoid something that will make your friends horribly uncomfortable. And plus, they are very expensive.

Logic has no place here, duh. It's alllllll about her and her bridesmaid clones.

Senecaf · December 2013

BMoreBride6 said:
Also I'm confused if you're so concerned with uniformity, why do you want them to have a dress they ALL wear differently? Look no one is trying rain on your parade I promise, just trying to help you avoid something that will make your friends horribly uncomfortable. And plus, they are very expensive.

There will be no uniformity with this AND no one will be happy. Dont worry, your are not chosing poop brown for your colors so that is a non issue. I think you might be pleasntly supprised at some of the designer options out there.

I dont think there is anything wrong with wanting uniformity, but you certainly will not find it with infinity dresses. Considering the style/shapes of your bridesmaids pick them something you think the will be comfortable in.

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