Does he say something about wrong name on TY card?

kgd7357 · December 2013

My roommate just got a thank you card for a wedding he attended with his long term girlfriend (more than 2 years) this past summer. The card was written out to him and "Angela". His gf's name is NOT Angela. It even said, "it was so nice to meet Angela". Really? He was wondering if he should say something or not.

jessicabessica · December 2013

I would let it go and just make sure that the next time he spoke with the couple, he mentioned his GF, by name, in conversation. I would not have a separate talk to correct them or point it out that they got her name wrong. He may have been dating her for 2 years, but the wedding was the first time the couple met the GF, so I would cut them some slack.

phira · December 2013

Honestly, I'd want to talk to them/have my partner talk to them. Since the wedding was over the summer, it's not like it's been a DAY since the wedding and the OP's roommate would be jumping down their throats.

He can say something like, "Hey, we got your thank you note in the mail. We're really glad you liked the gift! I just wanted to let you know, though, my girlfriend's name is Name, not Angela. I told her not to worry about it, but I just wanted to let you know. Anyway, how's married life?"

JCbride2015 · December 2013

phira said:

Honestly, I'd want to talk to them/have my partner talk to them. Since the wedding was over the summer, it's not like it's been a DAY since the wedding and the OP's roommate would be jumping down their throats.

He can say something like, "Hey, we got your thank you note in the mail. We're really glad you liked the gift! I just wanted to let you know, though, my girlfriend's name is Name, not Angela. I told her not to worry about it, but I just wanted to let you know. Anyway, how's married life?"

Yeah, I'd say something like this. It doesn't have to be its own conversation, though-- I would just say that the next time I would have talked to them anyway.

Could this have just been a momentary lapse while writing TY cards, though? They might really know the gf's name, just were writing out all their cards at once and got confused about which card they were on. The next time these couples talk, the newlyweds might call GF by her correct name and it could become a non-issue.

JoanE2012 · December 2013

I'd let it slide and just mention the GFs name in future conversation.

LizM61409 · December 2013

It's probably an honest mistake and they would likely be really embarrassed if you correct them. Just re-introduce her with the correct name next time you see them.

Ven&Radio · December 2013

I like phira's suggestion

audubonbride2013 · December 2013

LizM61409 said:

It's probably an honest mistake and they would likely be really embarrassed if you correct them. Just re-introduce her with the correct name next time you see them.

I agree with this. The couple meant well.

EverAfer · December 2013

I wouldn't have a separate talk just to correct them. But I would have him make a point of saying her name the next time they talk, i.e., hey, REALNAME and I had a great time at your wedding. REALNAME really liked the centerpieces.

And do this before the invite for the baby shower comes out (if there's likely to be one in the future.) The second time they get it wrong would irk me, but they won't know unless you correct them.

hikebikebemerry · December 2013

I think the couple had the best intentions, and wanted to show enthusiasm for the relationship, but just made an error in the execution. This happens to everyone- one of the clients that I work with is a judge, and was telling me about a trail where on the break, he double checked the name of one of the lawyers with the stenographer. The stenographer corrected him, telling him the "correct" name. He then started calling the lawyer by the name that he had been told was correct, which was actually the wrong name- and he was never corrected by the lawyer!!

RebeccaB88 · December 2013

While I do agree they probably meant well, I would expect my FI to correct the problem asap. It's entirely possible that they met so many people that night that they have trouble keeping them straight. To me, my name is extremely important and a hill to die on every single time. It can certainly be corrected politely and discreetly, though. More than one mistake after they had been corrected, though, is a different story. Repeated use of the wrong name is beyond disrespectful. I have to wonder, though, if they got her name right on the invitation, why get it wrong in person? Equally rude, unless she was addressed as a plus one, which isn't right if they are in a relationship.

kgd7357 · December 2013

Yeah, they've been together more than 2 years and she got a "and guest". They didn't have assigned seating, so there were no escort cards either. He mostly emails with his buddy. I think I'm going to suggest that he mention the upcoming trip that him and REAL NAME are taking in his next email then ask how the honeymoon was or some such.

Although I'm kinda curious if there was an Angela there at all...

Inkdancer · December 2013

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southernbelle0915 · December 2013

I don't really understand how this can happen in the age of facebook. It's SO EASY to figure out who is dating who and how to spell their name.

Unless "Angela" and her BF are not friends with these people on FB (i.e. the only way they'd be able to figure out Angela's name would be memory or asking the BF directly), there's not really a good excuse for this. For that reason, if I were the BF, I'd probably shoot him an email just letting him know. @phira's wording is good. No harm, but just an FYI.

RebeccaB88 · December 2013

If the OP hadn't attended with her FI, then I'd REALLY be worried about who the "Angela" was that he attended with...

indianaalum · December 2013

I would just let it go. It's possible that after writing 100 thank you cards in a row that they couple made a simpler error and might actually know the name. I certainly don't think its worth getting angry over. honest mistake to an overwhelmed newlywed couple. i would just introduce her with the correct name next time

Lored · December 2013

I would just let it go. It's possible that after writing 100 thank you cards in a row that they couple made a simpler error and might actually know the name. I certainly don't think its worth getting angry over. honest mistake to an overwhelmed newlywed couple. i would just introduce her with the correct name next time I agree with this. I think I'm not understanding the benefit of calling the couple out. I actually really hate when people spell my name incorrectly (happens often) but I would never say anything unless it's repeated. Honestly, ppl get my name wrong all the time when addressing FI. Here's to hoping it's better when I change my name.

Lored · December 2013

southernbelle0915 said:

I don't really understand how this can happen in the age of facebook. It's SO EASY to figure out who is dating who and how to spell their name.

Unless "Angela" and her BF are not friends with these people on FB (i.e. the only way they'd be able to figure out Angela's name would be memory or asking the BF directly), there's not really a good excuse for this. For that reason, if I were the BF, I'd probably shoot him an email just letting him know. @phira's wording is good. No harm, but just an FYI.

Honestly, not Everyone face books. It seems that way, but not so. I am not disputing that it's impossible to find out someone's date, just that it's not always so simple to just check online who cousin John is currently dating.

Does he say something about wrong name on TY card?

Re: Does he say something about wrong name on TY card?

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