Wedding Reception Forum

From church to reception - Question;

Our wedding is at 1pm on a saturday, we are having a mass so the ceremony should last about an hour. My question is I don't want to have a reception too early and have people leaving before the sun even goes down. These are my thoughts; the reception hall is about 20-30 minutes away from the church. My fiancee' is a farmer and he would like to take take pictures with his combine and crop field, and I would like to take pictures with my horse as well. Do you all think it would be too long to keep the guest waiting if we just took a small detour from the church to the hall?

Re: From church to reception - Question;

  • Have a cocktail hour or appetizers for your guests while you take pictures. 
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  • clarke10 said:
    Have a cocktail hour or appetizers for your guests while you take pictures. 
    This.  The longest you should make your guests wait is an hour and a half once they arrive at the reception venue.

  • I agree with PPs.  Also, you and the bridal party can take pictures with your horse before the ceremony while the groom and the groomsmen take pictures in the field and with the combine.  Or, if you are doing a first look, that would get some pictures out of the way as well.  
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  • Our wedding is at 1pm on a saturday, we are having a mass so the ceremony should last about an hour. My question is I don't want to have a reception too early and have people leaving before the sun even goes down. These are my thoughts; the reception hall is about 20-30 minutes away from the church. My fiancee' is a farmer and he would like to take take pictures with his combine and crop field, and I would like to take pictures with my horse as well. Do you all think it would be too long to keep the guest waiting if we just took a small detour from the church to the hall?
    You should not have a gap in between your wedding ceremony and the start of the reception.  The guests should be able to go to the reception venue right after the cerermony ends and be let right into a cocktail hour.  During cocktail hour, you and your new H and WP will get all of your photos finished (do as many as possible before the ceremony).  Depending on the timing, you may all be able to join the tail end of cocktail hour.  After cocktail hour ends, then you go into dinner and dancing.  With a 1 PM start time, you may find that some of your guests leave before sundown, depending on the time of year you have your wedding.  Don't worry about if the sun will be down when the reception is winding down, just throw your guests an awesome party and no one will care if the sun is up or down.
  • If your ceremony is at 1pm and lasts an hour and it's a 30 minute drive to the reception venue, you'll want to start your cocktail hour at 2:30pm (no later or it's an unhosted gap). As Maggie said, this shouldn't last more than 1.5 hrs so the latest you and your FH should show up is 4:00pm. 

    If you think you need more time to take photos, I suggest a first look. Do the field and horse photos during a first look prior to the ceremony. If you don't want to see each other prior to the ceremony then you just have to settle for taking fewer photos. A way to maximize your photo time would be to take all the photos with just you and your BMs, him and his GMs, you and your family, him and his family, etc. prior to the ceremony. That way when you need to be together for photos you only have the family portraits, the whole WP, and the two of you to do.
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  • Thank you all, I will take into consideration all your advice. I'm 5.5 months away and already getting stressed and nervous.And I just found out that my wedding band is going to cost about $1,300 just for one side because it has to be custom made.  
  • PrettyBee said:
    Kinda agree with everyone.  My ceremony starts at 1:30 (it ends around 2:30) but will open cocktails at 3:30.  Even though it's a 15-minute drive from the church, this will give more than enough time for the bridal party to arrive at the reception and enjoy cocktails with everyone else.  Plus, it buys you time for pics.
    If I'm reading this correctly, you are going to have a 45-minute unhosted gap. This is incredibly rude and inconsiderate, and completely opposite of what the above posters have all recommended.  Your cocktail hour needs to start at 2:45. It's fine if you and the wedding party don't arrive at the reception until 3:30, or even 4:15pm (an hour and a half after the cocktail hour started). If you are choosing to take pictures after the ceremony, as almost everyone does, then you WILL miss part of your cocktail hour. You're planning this event for your guests; make sure they are hosted properly.
  • PrettyBee said:
    MandyMost said:
    PrettyBee said:
    Kinda agree with everyone.  My ceremony starts at 1:30 (it ends around 2:30) but will open cocktails at 3:30.  Even though it's a 15-minute drive from the church, this will give more than enough time for the bridal party to arrive at the reception and enjoy cocktails with everyone else.  Plus, it buys you time for pics.
    If I'm reading this correctly, you are going to have a 45-minute unhosted gap. This is incredibly rude and inconsiderate, and completely opposite of what the above posters have all recommended.  Your cocktail hour needs to start at 2:45. It's fine if you and the wedding party don't arrive at the reception until 3:30, or even 4:15pm (an hour and a half after the cocktail hour started). If you are choosing to take pictures after the ceremony, as almost everyone does, then you WILL miss part of your cocktail hour. You're planning this event for your guests; make sure they are hosted properly.
    With all due respect, it's my wedding.  I can do whatever the heck I want.  

    And FYI, for those who don't live in the area, we're giving them a guide to get to know the area before the reception.  The majority of our guests are local anyways.  We won't be leaving the church until 2:45 for a proper church send-off so starting cocktails at 2:45 does not make sense.  
     

    Well arent you a peach!

    What do you hope this guide is going to accomplish if most of your guests are local? Its not like you can go to a museum in 45 minutes. People are either going to head straight to teh reception anyway or stop for a few drinks. And then being more drunk at your reception.

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • MandyMost said:
    PrettyBee said:
    Kinda agree with everyone.  My ceremony starts at 1:30 (it ends around 2:30) but will open cocktails at 3:30.  Even though it's a 15-minute drive from the church, this will give more than enough time for the bridal party to arrive at the reception and enjoy cocktails with everyone else.  Plus, it buys you time for pics.
    If I'm reading this correctly, you are going to have a 45-minute unhosted gap. This is incredibly rude and inconsiderate, and completely opposite of what the above posters have all recommended.  Your cocktail hour needs to start at 2:45. It's fine if you and the wedding party don't arrive at the reception until 3:30, or even 4:15pm (an hour and a half after the cocktail hour started). If you are choosing to take pictures after the ceremony, as almost everyone does, then you WILL miss part of your cocktail hour. You're planning this event for your guests; make sure they are hosted properly.
    With all due respect, it's my wedding.  I can do whatever the heck I want.  

    And FYI, for those who don't live in the area, we're giving them a guide to get to know the area before the reception.  The majority of our guests are local anyways.  We won't be leaving the church until 2:45 for a proper church send-off so starting cocktails at 2:45 does not make sense.  
    Seriously? How the fuck old are you?

    But starting the cocktails and apps at 3pm does make sense.  After your "proper send off" (whatever the heck that means) your guests will arrive at about 3pm to your reception venue.  Instead of making them stand around for 30 minutes twiddling their thumbs you should have apps and drinks waiting and ready on their arrival.

  • PrettyBee said:
    MandyMost said:
    PrettyBee said:
    Kinda agree with everyone.  My ceremony starts at 1:30 (it ends around 2:30) but will open cocktails at 3:30.  Even though it's a 15-minute drive from the church, this will give more than enough time for the bridal party to arrive at the reception and enjoy cocktails with everyone else.  Plus, it buys you time for pics.
    If I'm reading this correctly, you are going to have a 45-minute unhosted gap. This is incredibly rude and inconsiderate, and completely opposite of what the above posters have all recommended.  Your cocktail hour needs to start at 2:45. It's fine if you and the wedding party don't arrive at the reception until 3:30, or even 4:15pm (an hour and a half after the cocktail hour started). If you are choosing to take pictures after the ceremony, as almost everyone does, then you WILL miss part of your cocktail hour. You're planning this event for your guests; make sure they are hosted properly.
    With all due respect, it's my wedding.  I can do whatever the heck I want.  

    And FYI, for those who don't live in the area, we're giving them a guide to get to know the area before the reception.  The majority of our guests are local anyways.  We won't be leaving the church until 2:45 for a proper church send-off so starting cocktails at 2:45 does not make sense.  
    You can be rude to your guests all you want.  It's your wedding.  

    Telling OP that this sort of treatment is acceptable is no short of nasty.  You may not care about your guests, but trying to goad OP into embarrassing herself is not going to make your actions any more acceptable.

    This board is here for brides who want help and good advice.  When you post bad advice or encourage the OP to treat her guests badly, you are going to get called out.  
  • PrettyBee said:
    MandyMost said:
    PrettyBee said:
    Kinda agree with everyone.  My ceremony starts at 1:30 (it ends around 2:30) but will open cocktails at 3:30.  Even though it's a 15-minute drive from the church, this will give more than enough time for the bridal party to arrive at the reception and enjoy cocktails with everyone else.  Plus, it buys you time for pics.
    If I'm reading this correctly, you are going to have a 45-minute unhosted gap. This is incredibly rude and inconsiderate, and completely opposite of what the above posters have all recommended.  Your cocktail hour needs to start at 2:45. It's fine if you and the wedding party don't arrive at the reception until 3:30, or even 4:15pm (an hour and a half after the cocktail hour started). If you are choosing to take pictures after the ceremony, as almost everyone does, then you WILL miss part of your cocktail hour. You're planning this event for your guests; make sure they are hosted properly.
    With all due respect, it's my wedding.  I can do whatever the heck I want.  

    And FYI, for those who don't live in the area, we're giving them a guide to get to know the area before the reception.  The majority of our guests are local anyways.  We won't be leaving the church until 2:45 for a proper church send-off so starting cocktails at 2:45 does not make sense.  
    Seriously? How the fuck old are you?

    But starting the cocktails and apps at 3pm does make sense.  After your "proper send off" (whatever the heck that means) your guests will arrive at about 3pm to your reception venue.  Instead of making them stand around for 30 minutes twiddling their thumbs you should have apps and drinks waiting and ready on their arrival.
    I guess we have to agree to disagree.  Let's just leave it as that.  No need to cuss at me.

    OP, sorry if I'm thread-jacking your thread.  I saw your ceremony was the same time as mine and thought I should chime in because I'm struggling with the timeline.
    I'm sorry but you are childish if you would rather have your guests sitting around for a half hour then to just start your cocktail hour 30 minutes earlier.

    And the whole "it's my wedding, I can do whatever the heck I want" makes you sound really young and immature which is why I asked how old you are.  You need to realize that a wedding is not just about you but rather everyone involved.

  • PrettyBee said:
    MandyMost said:
    PrettyBee said:
    Kinda agree with everyone.  My ceremony starts at 1:30 (it ends around 2:30) but will open cocktails at 3:30.  Even though it's a 15-minute drive from the church, this will give more than enough time for the bridal party to arrive at the reception and enjoy cocktails with everyone else.  Plus, it buys you time for pics.
    If I'm reading this correctly, you are going to have a 45-minute unhosted gap. This is incredibly rude and inconsiderate, and completely opposite of what the above posters have all recommended.  Your cocktail hour needs to start at 2:45. It's fine if you and the wedding party don't arrive at the reception until 3:30, or even 4:15pm (an hour and a half after the cocktail hour started). If you are choosing to take pictures after the ceremony, as almost everyone does, then you WILL miss part of your cocktail hour. You're planning this event for your guests; make sure they are hosted properly.
    With all due respect, it's my wedding.  I can do whatever the heck I want.  

    And FYI, for those who don't live in the area, we're giving them a guide to get to know the area before the reception.  The majority of our guests are local anyways.  We won't be leaving the church until 2:45 for a proper church send-off so starting cocktails at 2:45 does not make sense.  
    For sure it's your wedding. And you can do whatever you want. You can make the gap 3 hours if you want to. Nobody is stopping you. It doesn't make it any less rude, though. 

    The thing about your situation is that it'd be SO easy to fix. It's not like you have to figure out logistics to close a 3 hour gap. Yours is only 30 minutes! You could easily host that and it'd be no problem. I find the fact that you KNOW it's rude, it'd be SIMPLE to fix and you're CHOOSING not to just really strange. 
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  • The only thing I am going to say about these above posts is I agree with one thing, I do not believe in the words "It's my wedding", this is not just MY wedding it is OUR wedding and I am not going to made all the decision just about (well I adimit about the church, I wanted it and he didn't) what is best for me but what is best for US and OUR families and friends.

    I will talk to my fiancee about the timespan and if he would like to either cut out the additional pictures or open a cocktail hour for the guest while we are finishing taking pictures.

    It would just be so much easier if he wouldn't have told me I couldn't have my horse at the wedding... I wouldn't do that to the horse anyways lol.

    But another option that unfort. removes his pictures with the combine is we have a fellow farmer who will planting crop just down the road from the reception hall and he has already agreed to allow us to take pictures in his crop and he is will to haul my/our horses to the located and then bring them home for us.

    Thank you all for the continuing advice.

  • PrettyBee said:
    MandyMost said:
    PrettyBee said:
    Kinda agree with everyone.  My ceremony starts at 1:30 (it ends around 2:30) but will open cocktails at 3:30.  Even though it's a 15-minute drive from the church, this will give more than enough time for the bridal party to arrive at the reception and enjoy cocktails with everyone else.  Plus, it buys you time for pics.
    If I'm reading this correctly, you are going to have a 45-minute unhosted gap. This is incredibly rude and inconsiderate, and completely opposite of what the above posters have all recommended.  Your cocktail hour needs to start at 2:45. It's fine if you and the wedding party don't arrive at the reception until 3:30, or even 4:15pm (an hour and a half after the cocktail hour started). If you are choosing to take pictures after the ceremony, as almost everyone does, then you WILL miss part of your cocktail hour. You're planning this event for your guests; make sure they are hosted properly.
    With all due respect, it's my wedding.  I can do whatever the heck I want.  

    And FYI, for those who don't live in the area, we're giving them a guide to get to know the area before the reception.  The majority of our guests are local anyways.  We won't be leaving the church until 2:45 for a proper church send-off so starting cocktails at 2:45 does not make sense.  
    Just because you CAN doesn't mean you SHOULD.

    The minute you invite even a single guest to your wedding and reception, it becomes an event that you are hosting for your guests, and not an event about you. Or at least, it should become an event you are hosting for your guests. I suggest that for EACH and EVERY decision you make, you consider "How will this affect my guests? Will this make my guests more or less comfortable? Will this provide any level of inconvenience or hardship for my guests? Is whatever the benefit is to me worth providing this inconvenience to my guests?". That's how you throw a good party. 

    For the situation here, you seem to be providing a pretty big inconvenience to your guests (45 minutes to stand around aimlessly while dressed for a wedding), and the only benefit to you seems to be that you don't miss the beginning of the cocktail hour. That's not a good enough trade off.  Also, you could bring some champagne with you to the photo locations if you want.  

    If you're making your guests stand around aimlessly for 45 minutes just so you can make some kind of "grand entrance" before the party starts, they're not going to be thinking "Wow! I'm glad I stood here for that! She looks great!". They're going to be thinking "You've got to be f-ing kidding me. Can I have a drink now? My feet hurt. If the foot and beverages aren't flowing like water, I'm leaving here ASAP". Happy guests=good party. 


  • As a new member of the knot...the severe lack of class and respect shown by several posters on this topic makes me sad....
  • abbyj700 said:
    As a new member of the knot...the severe lack of class and respect shown by several posters on this topic makes me sad....

    I hope your speaking of the lack of class and respect being shown to guests at some weddings.  It is rude to not completely host your guests. 

    Our advice on this and other boards is from an etiquette standpoint.  It is not sugar coated.  It is blunt.  But if you listen to our advice in the end, you will still have family & friends speaking with you after the wedding and not talking badly about you behind your back. 

  • PrettyBee said:
    I guess we have to agree to disagree.  Let's just leave it as that.  No need to cuss at me.

    OP, sorry if I'm thread-jacking your thread.  I saw your ceremony was the same time as mine and thought I should chime in because I'm struggling with the timeline.

    To the bolded: Perhaps you are struggling with your timeline because you know it's inappropriate to make your guests wait around for you, un-hosted.
  • PrettyBee said:
    MandyMost said:
    PrettyBee said:
    Kinda agree with everyone.  My ceremony starts at 1:30 (it ends around 2:30) but will open cocktails at 3:30.  Even though it's a 15-minute drive from the church, this will give more than enough time for the bridal party to arrive at the reception and enjoy cocktails with everyone else.  Plus, it buys you time for pics.
    If I'm reading this correctly, you are going to have a 45-minute unhosted gap. This is incredibly rude and inconsiderate, and completely opposite of what the above posters have all recommended.  Your cocktail hour needs to start at 2:45. It's fine if you and the wedding party don't arrive at the reception until 3:30, or even 4:15pm (an hour and a half after the cocktail hour started). If you are choosing to take pictures after the ceremony, as almost everyone does, then you WILL miss part of your cocktail hour. You're planning this event for your guests; make sure they are hosted properly.
    With all due respect, it's my wedding.  I can do whatever the heck I want.  

    And FYI, for those who don't live in the area, we're giving them a guide to get to know the area before the reception.  The majority of our guests are local anyways.  We won't be leaving the church until 2:45 for a proper church send-off so starting cocktails at 2:45 does not make sense.  
    You're free to be a shitty host if you want to, sure, but if you think so little of your guests then why bother to invite them at all?  Gaps are rude, period.



  • abbyj700 said:
    As a new member of the knot...the severe lack of class and respect shown by several posters on this topic makes me sad....
    The only lack of class and respect I see is from the people who are planning on treating their guests rudely.



  • If we take pictures before the wedding then he will see me...
  •  
    If we take pictures before the wedding then he will see me...

    Do you have it in the budget to do a rock the dress shoot the next day?  You can wear your wedding gown again and your FI can wear his tux again.  Then you can have the pictures you want without leaving your guests for an extended period of time unhosted.  In between the ceremony and the reception, do all family photos and WP pictures. Then you can save the time consuming photos at the farm for the next day.  This would require you to host a 30 minute cocktail hour rather than a full hour.
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