Destination Wedding Delima

KickAssMOH · December 2013

if it's during a spring break week, the hotel might only sell trips in 1-week packages. Although, I agree with PP that it sounds like the B&G are getting a free vacation out of everyone else's booking, and the kicker must be that since the B&G want a full week there, their guests must stay that long as well.

phira · December 2013

I have no idea why the bride and groom would even WANT to spend a whole week with some of their wedding guests. I'd want some damn ALONE TIME.

wrigleyville · December 2013

phira said:

I have no idea why the bride and groom would even WANT to spend a whole week with some of their wedding guests. I'd want some damn ALONE TIME.

Truth. We got married in Vegas, and I made it CRYSTAL CLEAR that we would see everyone for a late lunch the day after the wedding, and that was it. Most of them made a vacation out of it and weren't planning to be in our hair anyway, but there were a few I was worried about. It's a honeymoon, not a buddymoon.

delujm0 · December 2013

I just got back from a DW in St. Lucia. The bride and groom were perfectly aware when they booked it that a lot of people wouldn't come. In fact, two guys that agreed to be GM wound up dropping out because of cost, and no one blamed them or guilted them into anything. That is a perfectly reasonable excuse.

The bride should not mandate a resort or a time frame though. The bride at the wedding I went to did have an agent and a "deal" at the property where the wedding happened. The available deals were for anywhere from 3-7 nights. We decided to do 4 nights. Some people did 3, some people did 7, it all depended on who had what time off and how much they had to spend. It is in NO WAY reasonable for the bride to insist that you take a FULL WEEK off of work to go to her wedding. Very few people would be able to do this without at least a year's lead time.

Additionally, the wedding occurred at an adults-only resort, but the bride made it clear on her website that people could stay wherever they wanted and that there was a cost to get on the resort the day of the wedding if they stayed elsewhere. A few people chose that option. No one with kids wound up coming (which they were not blamed or guilted for) because finding another resort was a bit of a headache.

This whole enterprise (international flights for two plus 4 nights at an All Inclusive resort) cost us just under $3k. I was a BM so i had some additional spa/salon costs as well (which were completely voluntary).

If you want to have a DW, that's great. But you have to understand that even some people who are close enough to you to be in your wedding party may not be able to make it. I'm sure the bride does want everyone to stay at her chosen resort, because most of these resorts discount the cost of the wedding/reception based on how many rooms their guests block off for a certain time frame. But that shouldn't be the priority. The guests should be the priority. You are in the right, OP. The bride needs to get over it. If i had to go to a week long wedding that would cost me and my husband nearly $5k and i would need to find my children alternate accomodations during it, there's no way i'd go. that's way too much.

TheBaysideBride · December 2013

A) you absolutely should not be guilted into anything you don't want/cant' afford to do.

b) That is a ridiculous amount to spend in Riviera Maya - $2000 for week wld be all inclusive for a couple (not a single) at a nice resort. Forget the travel agent, that sounds like a scam. If you feel you MUST attend, look at a map, scope out nearby hotel and call them directly and tell them you're seeing rates at $200/night, or look for online sales. Do a long weekend and be done w/ it.

c) See A).

SP29 · December 2013

$1300 for each kid additionally! WTF! That's ridiculous.

I would be firm that you cannot afford this trip and must decline. She shouldn't guilt you into this.

If you want to go, make your own reservations for a shorter stay at a different hotel. Though I understand if you're going to travel all that way you probably want to stay for the week, but if you can't afford it, you can't afford it.

dramamonkey · December 2013

Your "friend" is being unreasonable. Like PPs mentioned, there's a high chance that bc it's a spring break week there's a higher price/full week only package.

I was a BM in a DW a couple of years ago in Tulum, MX and I think, including airfare, for 5 nights it was $1100 pp for an all-inclusive MOST folks stayed 7 nights. My H (then boyfriend) was also invited, but we couldn't swing it cost-wise.

Liatris2010 · December 2013

Just say no.

When you choose to get married at a tropical beach thousands of miles from where you and your family and friends live, you are choosing location over convenience to your guests. You don't get to be surprised or hurt when people choose not to follow you to your wedding destination.

Destination Wedding Delima

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