Wedding Woes

from where i cheat

they are engaged. his phone rings, he asks her to get it for him. she grabs the phone and there is a text there from a woman. "great to see you and catch up; looking forward to meeting fiancee."

she is very upset. when did this happen, who is she, and so on. other woman is a former co-worker from years ago, she called because she was in town, they met for coffee. he did not mention it because he was trying to mention it without it turning into a BFD. now it is a BFD. he swears it was just coffee, he understands why she is so upset, and has offered to go to counseling.

my questions:
how old do you think these people are? 
are you team him or team her?
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Re: from where i cheat

  • I would say he is mid 30s and she is young 20s

    I am team him.  I suppose it was just coffee, but it could've been mentioned off hand as no big deal.  *shrug*
  • I'm going to guess at least 30s with one seriously gunshy fiancée, maybe similar age or a little younger.

    I'm team dude for this one. Although the fact that dude had to handle it a bit too delicately than is warranted, I'm guessing he knows what sort of flaming insecure he has to live with.

    Or he is a cheating hobag and his past indiscretions are paying out their dividends
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  • Yeah, I'd like to say he's late 20's/early 30's and she's early 20's.  But I bet they both skew older.

    And I'm on his side with the information presented.  Especially since a) it's a former colleague and b) she mentioned looking forward to meeting his FI. 
  • Yeah, I'd like to say he's late 20's/early 30's and she's early 20's.  But I bet they both skew older.

    And I'm on his side with the information presented.  Especially since a) it's a former colleague and b) she mentioned looking forward to meeting his FI. 
    And c) he had nothing to hide when the phone rang.
  • she is mid-40s, he is mid-50s.
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  • I hope when he says, "I'll go to counseling with you," he means as her ride.  B/c that is a really big insecurity issue.  I get having feelings of jealousy, I'm not that great about it myself, but I don't take it out on DH, I know it's MY issue.

    W/out knowing hx of their relationship w/each other and past relationships, I'm team Dude.
  • I'm team dude for this one. True it would hav been nice if he told his insecure fi but it sounds very innocent and platonic and he never lied to her and was upfront about it. Plus his friend wants to meet his fi. This woman's 40 something??? She needs to grow up.
  • Unless there's a backstory where he was sleeping with every female coworker he had at some point during their relationship, she's a nut, and his willingness to go to counseling might make him nutty, too (unless he's using this as a gateway to get her crazy ass there?).
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  • it's just a co-worker, not an ex-girlfriend.

    there was a lot of "you should go to counseling, and maybe consider why this dude is even with you because you are clearly very, very crazy."
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  • Ha.  So obviously people are thinking is she is the crazy one...which is good.  Because I would agree with them.
  • Yeah, with the information presented, she's the crazy one. Both my husband and I have friends of both genders, and we couldn't care less. But then, we trust each other...
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