Bridal Shower Planning HELP!

blancokm · November 2013

I am the MOH and pretty much at a brick wall with the BMs in planning this shower. They all have pretty much stated that it would be too much to plan an activity of sorts for the guests to do during the shower. The bride has requested no games. So I have come up with one bigger activity of scrapbooking pages for the first year of their marriage as the bride loves scrapbooking. I also came up with the idea of small little activities that guest could do as please of writing a note of encouragement for the bride that I will mail randomly during the first year of her marriage. The other is a date night jar. Basically guest would visit the table, and write a date idea and put it in the jar. The BMs all think this is just too much for the shower. I have gotten the feeling they want to just serve food (not a meal as we are planning for 2pm) and have the bride open gifts. I am just not comfortable with this, seems gift grabby to me. Also there is 9 of us in her party and 10 paying for the shower, so we have a very decent budget even with each just paying $50. The location at the moment is at a church since none of the ladies have a home that we can use to host the shower.

What would be some good alternative ideas for this shower. I would like at least one activity we can do together that will take about 30 minutes. We are doing a beach theme in décor. Also I do not have a guest list yet, but could be 30-70 invited. Thanks for any help!

doeydo · November 2013

Just provide food and drinks and it will be fine. There doesn't need to be "activities". Generally at non-game showers, people talk, there is a lunch or snacks, at some point the bride opens gifts, then more talk, and you call it a day.

blancokm · November 2013

To be honest, I truly want to plan a shower that is one she will love and remember. If we are to just sit and chat then I would like to make the location a wow factor and serve catered food. If that makes sense. I just want her day to be more than just an "okay" shower. If that makes sense. This is coming from someone who had the just food and gift baby shower. It was nothing special, sadly.

saric83 · November 2013

If your preference is either the activities or a different location/catered food, I would find a new location. I agree with the other BMs that it's too much for one shower. I think they're really nice ideas, but I'm not sure that they'll go over well, especially with a potentially large group. Even though the bride enjoys scrapbooking, the shower guests might not or may make really crappy pages that she wouldn't even want to use.

Instead of doing a formal activity, I usually like when people introduce themselves and how they know the couple, but with such a large group, that would get pretty brutal. So maybe have people introduce themselves at the table they're sitting at, and then you could put "date night" jars at each table with straps of paper and pens for people to fill out if they feel like it while they're sitting there.

Jen4948 · November 2013

blancokm said:

To be honest, I truly want to plan a shower that is one she will love and remember. If we are to just sit and chat then I would like to make the location a wow factor and serve catered food. If that makes sense. I just want her day to be more than just an "okay" shower. If that makes sense. This is coming from someone who had the just food and gift baby shower. It was nothing special, sadly.

That's a sad attitude to have about your shower-it makes you come off as "entitled." The honoree is not "entitled" to more than to sit and chat and have good-not necessarily specially catered-food and drinks-and luckily for her and for etiquette, that's all the bride or the other BMs want. So that's all you need to do-and all you should do. It will be special enough without anything else-especially if she doesn't want it. And it will actually take away from the "specialness" if you try to force something on them that they don't want.

HisGirlFriday13 · November 2013

blancokm said:

I am the MOH and pretty much at a brick wall with the BMs in planning this shower. They all have pretty much stated that it would be too much to plan an activity of sorts for the guests to do during the shower. The bride has requested no games. So I have come up with one bigger activity of scrapbooking pages for the first year of their marriage as the bride loves scrapbooking. I also came up with the idea of small little activities that guest could do as please of writing a note of encouragement for the bride that I will mail randomly during the first year of her marriage. The other is a date night jar. Basically guest would visit the table, and write a date idea and put it in the jar. The BMs all think this is just too much for the shower. I have gotten the feeling they want to just serve food (not a meal as we are planning for 2pm) and have the bride open gifts. I am just not comfortable with this, seems gift grabby to me. Also there is 9 of us in her party and 10 paying for the shower, so we have a very decent budget even with each just paying $50. The location at the moment is at a church since none of the ladies have a home that we can use to host the shower.

What would be some good alternative ideas for this shower. I would like at least one activity we can do together that will take about 30 minutes. We are doing a beach theme in décor. Also I do not have a guest list yet, but could be 30-70 invited. Thanks for any help!

blancokm said:

To be honest, I truly want to plan a shower that is one she will love and remember. If we are to just sit and chat then I would like to make the location a wow factor and serve catered food. If that makes sense. I just want her day to be more than just an "okay" shower. If that makes sense. This is coming from someone who had the just food and gift baby shower. It was nothing special, sadly.

1. The majority rules, and they've told you what they do (and do not) want to do.

2. This is not a good idea. Just because the bride likes it doesn't mean the guests will (I would not, as a guest, enjoy that activity AT ALL).

3. Yes, you've gotten that feeling because that's what they want to do, and you need to go along with it.

4. She will love and remember it because it was thrown by her 10 (!!) closest friends and it was for her wedding. She doesn't need anything more. If you really want to go all-out, then use the budget you have to rent a great facility, have awesome catered food (maybe alcohol?), and just let her enjoy herself.

5. This makes you sounds very entitled -- people cared enough about you to have a shower for your baby, and give you gifts. Wanting anything more than that is demanding and rude.

Lauderdale Pink · November 2013

So, in the process of some of you thinking it is your job to scold Blancokm, you have lost sight of the question.

First @Blancokm, I like all of your ideas and do not think they are too much for a shower. I would even add a stack of recipe cards so ladies could share their favorites with the bride (and yes, most of us have our favorites memorized)

My daughter's MOH made a questionnaire about my daughter and her fiancé, and the lady with the most correct answers won a prize (Dollar Tree has some great stuff). The scrapbook page idea is really nice and "entries" could be judged for a prize. Each page could even be a collaboration among 2 or 3 guests.

Some of the games can be ridiculous or embarassing to "older" ladies, so I get the idea of skipping them.

Good luck and enjoy making it fun. You are on the right track.

Maggie0829 · November 2013

blancokm said:

I am the MOH and pretty much at a brick wall with the BMs in planning this shower. They all have pretty much stated that it would be too much to plan an activity of sorts for the guests to do during the shower. The bride has requested no games. So I have come up with one bigger activity of scrapbooking pages for the first year of their marriage as the bride loves scrapbooking. I also came up with the idea of small little activities that guest could do as please of writing a note of encouragement for the bride that I will mail randomly during the first year of her marriage. The other is a date night jar. Basically guest would visit the table, and write a date idea and put it in the jar. The BMs all think this is just too much for the shower. I have gotten the feeling they want to just serve food (not a meal as we are planning for 2pm) and have the bride open gifts. I am just not comfortable with this, seems gift grabby to me. Also there is 9 of us in her party and 10 paying for the shower, so we have a very decent budget even with each just paying $50. The location at the moment is at a church since none of the ladies have a home that we can use to host the shower.

What would be some good alternative ideas for this shower. I would like at least one activity we can do together that will take about 30 minutes. We are doing a beach theme in décor. Also I do not have a guest list yet, but could be 30-70 invited. Thanks for any help!

To the bolded, you do realize that a shower is about the bride opening gifts right? I mean the whole point of a bridal shower is to "shower" the bride with gifts. So yeah, a shower is about the gifts.

Look, the best showers that I have been to have been the ones with zero games and zero activities. Shower guests are adults, they do not need cutesy activities to keep them entertained or have fun. Have good food, good desserts, and some drinks. I am sure that everyone will have fun.

blancokm said:

To be honest, I truly want to plan a shower that is one she will love and remember. If we are to just sit and chat then I would like to make the location a wow factor and serve catered food. If that makes sense. I just want her day to be more than just an "okay" shower. If that makes sense. This is coming from someone who had the just food and gift baby shower. It was nothing special, sadly.

And I think the above is horrible. It makes you sound like an entitled brat. People who love you took time out of their lives and money out of their pockets to throw you a baby shower and all you have to say about it is that it was "nothing special." I am sure the hosts and the guests of that party would just love to hear that after they spent money on you.

Honestly, it sounds like you want to make this bridal shower something that you would want rather then what they bride would want. Majority rules when it comes to planning with others. If you don't like that then I suggest you plan, pay and host for this bridal shower all yourself.

Maggie0829 · November 2013

Lauderdale Pink said:

So, in the process of some of you thinking it is your job to scold Blancokm, you have lost sight of the question.
First @Blancokm, I like all of your ideas and do not think they are too much for a shower. I would even add a stack of recipe cards so ladies could share their favorites with the bride (and yes, most of us have our favorites memorized)
My daughter's MOH made a questionnaire about my daughter and her fiancé, and the lady with the most correct answers won a prize (Dollar Tree has some great stuff). The scrapbook page idea is really nice and "entries" could be judged for a prize. Each page could even be a collaboration among 2 or 3 guests.
Some of the games can be ridiculous or embarassing to "older" ladies, so I get the idea of skipping them.
Good luck and enjoy making it fun. You are on the right track.

I think you are missing the point that the other people who are helping to plan and contribute to this party do not want to have these special activities.

Oh and I am 29 years old so no where near old but I think that bridal shower games are completely ridiculous and dumb.

dramamonkey · November 2013

Coming from a bride who did not want any games at all for my shower - I really really do not like them- my MOH did something pretty simple -

She had a little bucket (off to the side) and some scrap pieces of colored/patterned cardstock. There was a sign that said, simply "Leave some advice for the bride!" and people could - at their own convenience - come up and fill out the cards. It was a VERY passive activity and I'm sure not everyone (about 20 people) participated.

We didn't read them out loud, but I got to take them all home at the end and read through them with my FI. Since your friend, the bride to be, is a scrapbooker, this might be an appropriate "activity" for your group.

Other than that, we just mingled, ate, and opened gifts!

MairePoppy · November 2013

There are 10 people contributing equally to the shower. You should listen to them and the bride. None of them want games, you're out voted. My suggestion is that you put the money toward good food and beverages.

At my daughter's shower, the guests commented on the gifts, socialized with each other, ate and doted on the bride. In my circle, the shower guests usally know each other and enjoy chatting and catching up. We don't like to have our conversations interrupted by activities.

If you hand out the advice cards at the shower, expect to get many generic notes, such as 'Don't go to bed angry,' 'Best Wishes,' etc...It would be a better idea to mail those file cards out with the invitations so guests have time to put some thought into it. You could request a recipe, advice, photos, whatever each guest wishes to contribute...and compile a book for your friend with the file cards. Include some photos from the shower. That would be a nice memento for the bride.

The shower will be special because your friends closest and dearest will be there to help her celebrate her milestone.

ETA - the guests might misunderstand that date night jar as a request for monetary donations so be careful with that.

Viczaesar · November 2013

Lauderdale Pink said:

So, in the process of some of you thinking it is your job to scold Blancokm, you have lost sight of the question.
First @Blancokm, I like all of your ideas and do not think they are too much for a shower. I would even add a stack of recipe cards so ladies could share their favorites with the bride (and yes, most of us have our favorites memorized)
My daughter's MOH made a questionnaire about my daughter and her fiancé, and the lady with the most correct answers won a prize (Dollar Tree has some great stuff). The scrapbook page idea is really nice and "entries" could be judged for a prize. Each page could even be a collaboration among 2 or 3 guests.
Some of the games can be ridiculous or embarassing to "older" ladies, so I get the idea of skipping them.
Good luck and enjoy making it fun. You are on the right track.

Most of who, exactly?

I'd rather poke my eyes out than sit down and scrapbook a page, even with prizes. Maybe especially with prizes. That sounds awful to me.

sweet696 · November 2013

I would say that if the bride does not want games, then honor her wishes. However, I do feel like you should do something. I think the scrapbooking page will be too much for the guests and the time allowed for the party. However, I do like the idea of the words of encouragement and the date night idea. You can simply put the pieces of paper in the middle of the table and ask them to fill them out. That is simple and nice. The guests feel like they are contributing and the bride will remember how special she felt during the party when she reads them. This way, you can have the best of both worlds. It dosent cost too much and its not a game. Happy planning!

southernbelle0915 · November 2013

I didn't want games/activities at my shower. Thankfully, the hosts asked me if I did or not and I said no. I would rather just talk to people and catch up. If they had done games/activities anyway, I would have been confused and side-eyed it (like - why ask me at all if you were going to do it anyway?). So I guess my shower was "nothing special", according to the OP, because all we did was talk, eat food and open gifts.

OP - you're throwing this party in honor of the bride. If she doesn't want games/activities, don't do it. Maybe that's what you would have wanted, but it's obviously not her style.

erinlin25 · November 2013

I think you are over-thinking this. Bridal Showers can just be a social time. No games/activities are needed. My shower was a luncheon and we enjoyed some food, while people caught up with others. Many of the guests were friends of my moms I had not seen in a few years, college friends I have not seen in a long time plus a few of my inlaws came that had not met the majority of my family (grandma, aunts, cousins, etc) so it gave a chance for people to meet & mingle. I opened gifts while we had cake. Between the time I introduced my bridal party and inlaws and the woman who introduced me to my husband-it was a cute story so everyone wanted to hear it. Some people watched me opening gifts, others just socialized with people at their table.

I think the scrapbooking idea will be too much to handle. The date jar is a cute idea as well as the words of advise.

CeciliaandSteve · December 2013

I do not like playing games at showers. However I do believe in having some small activity so the guests are not entirely bored. The notes and the date night jar are perfect. They are not too time consuming and are inexpensive while also allowing the guests to opt out if they so choose. I also suggest having guests write their addresses on envelopes (for the bride's thank you cards) and using those to draw names for attendance prizes. These are all simple activities and will require the other maids to do very little.

aurianna · December 2013

70 people??? Man... how many people are going to be invited to the wedding, total?

Scrapbooking is expensive. $500 would not get you enough for 70 people. Though I agree with everyone else that that is really just not something everyone will enjoy and/or be good at regardless.

If you want guests to give recipes or advice, I'd mail out the recipe card / advice card with the invitation. That way the guests could have time to think about it. I bake a ton, and quite a few of the same things, but I probably couldn't fill out a single one of those recipes completely from memory. (Though if you did those, you could collect them all and you could put them in a scrap book for the bride later as a gift? Or get her the supplies to do it if she wanted to?)

For a group that big, I would not try to do a big activity. It would drag long and get old fast. Little stations with optional things (like the date suggestions) are probably the way to go.

Now... if you do assigned tables and have a lot of people who don't know each other, one thing you could do, is something that was at a wedding I went to once. They had a piece of paper that had an interesting fact about each person at the table (though it didn't say who they were about). And it was left on the table. So we could try and guess who they were about.. ask people about them... it was just a cute conversation starter. Or we could choose to ignore it completely.

Having a shower thrown by people important to the bride, attended by people that love the bride... that's special. Anyone who doesn't get that is just not grateful. So it's nice that you want to do something special, but you also need to take into account the feelings/opinions of the other hosts, as well as the bride and guests to a degree.

aurianna · December 2013

kgd7357 · December 2013

I went to a bridal shower recently with only 2 small activities. I like them very much actually. One was pin the kiss on the man (basically pin the tail on the donkey, but with a kiss and a man). They asked for 10 volunteers, everyone pinned their kiss (blindfolded) and the bride picked her favorite kiss location. The other game I liked better b/c it made perfect sense with a shower. Everyone had an empty bingo sheet. You were supposed to fill in random gifts in each box (glasses, forks, bowls, etc.). As the bride opened gifts, you checked off the boxes to get bingo. The MOH has plenty of little prizes to hand out. Pretty much everyone that played got one.

Bridal Shower Planning HELP!

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