Required attire for guests

flojo973 · December 2013

I wanted to get your take on this since I haven't seen this before. I just got invited to a wedding where the invite says that the guests are required to wear 1920's-style attired because the theme of the wedding Great Gatsby. I get that its kind of a costume-party request but I think its sort of obnoxious to tell guests that this is "required". Am I getting annoyed for no reason? Thoughts?

southernbelle0915 · December 2013

Uh, what? What a rude request! Not to mention stupid. It's super rude to tell people some kind of clothing is "required" unless it's actually required (e.g. jacket at a country club).

I would not honor this request unless you're excited about it and want to. Wearing something you already have is perfectly acceptable. What are they going to do? Kick you out? *eyeroll*

Dignity100 · December 2013

I find the request a little off-putting. The only wedding I attended that mentioned a 'dress code' was one that the reception was a masquerade. I forget their wording on the invite, but costumes were encouraged and they had box of costumes -- and if guests were not comfortable with that regular wedding attire was fine too.

ktjanesmom · December 2013

I would be annoyed because I would have to shop for something to wear. Does it actually say "required"?

Maggie0829 · December 2013

I would find the most modern thing in my closet and wear that.

It is rude to request or ask or even state the type of dress preferred on a wedding invitation.

emmyg65 · December 2013

It's rude that it says "required," but we love theme parties so we'd probably go all out.

princessleia22 · December 2013

Yeah, its rude to put requirements on guests attire. If you want to do that, I could see maybe saying that the wedding is a Great Gatsy theme and state that guests are "encouraged" to participate in the fun and dress in 1920's fashion, but any wedding appropriate attire is fine.

hyechica81 · December 2013

so rude she could have put 1920s themed wedding wear what you want or come dressed vintage

i have seen black tie optional on invites but thats about it

kmmssg · December 2013

I would be sending a decline RSVP in a heartbeat. I am sorry - I am not wasting my money on a costume (one time wear) for someone's wedding. I'll send a gift and call it good.

laureneliz87_23318347 · December 2013

That's incredibly tacky and rude. A simple google of "Wedding Invitation Etiquette" says as much. Had she spent even a second researching (or caring), she would have known better.

mimiphin · December 2013

hyechica81 said:

so rude she could have put 1920s themed wedding wear what you want or come dressed vintage

i have seen black tie optional on invites but thats about it

I personally hate this, It is either black tie or it isn't....

16maybeless · December 2013

I have been invited to two weddings in the past two years that included requests to dress a certain way. The first one was a Halloween wedding, and it was spread via word-of-mouth that costumes could be worn, if guests wanted to. So it was optional, did not annoy me, and I wore a cocktail dress.

The second wedding, though, annoyed me. They requested that all guests wear purple or purple accents. On the invite. Including men. With a reminder not to wear white.

HaileyDancingbear · December 2013

Oh the Great Gatsby themed wedding. I do not like those. I think if you want to have a 1920's theme, you should call it a 1920's or jazz age theme. The book The Great Gatsby features some pretty horrible relationships and a completely failed attempt at winning the heart of a woman who turns out to be an indecisive, shallow moron. Also it's pretty obvious that the writer wasn't entirely fond of the time period he was writing about, and considered all the glamour to be completely shallow. It's not something you want to compare your own love life to :P

Gatsby rant aside, It's also rude to tell you what attire is "Required," especially since not everyone happens to have a glitzy, glamourous 1920's inspired dress just hanging in their closet. You're gonna have to go out and buy that, and not only is it not going to be cheap, you're probably not going to be able to find many other places to wear it :P Also I hope you don't have breasts larger than an A or B cup, because otherwise the flapper look won't look that good on you. The flapper look was for girls who were rail thin with small hips and breasts, and because of that the dresses have very little definition at the waist- so you will look just as big all over as your breasts are. I know this from experience, I have a larger bust so dresses with that shape just hang straight down and make me look like 20 pounds heavier than I am. Although maybe you can get away with belting it at the waist to make it a little more flattering?

MrsDeRuyter87 · December 2013

16maybeless said:

The second wedding, though, annoyed me. They requested that all guests wear purple or purple accents. On the invite. Including men. With a reminder not to wear white.

WHAT??!!

Rebl90 · December 2013

Please go and wear this:

In all seriousness though, I'd decline

leelabear · December 2013

Pick a simle dress you already have (little black dress maybe). Accessorize and style your hair to fit the 1920 feel. "Required" is rude. "Optional", "Preferred", or even "Requested" would have been more appropiate. If you really want to be rude back, which I don't suggest, pick the cheapest, goddiest looking 1920's costume you can find. She can't say anything since she required 1920's.

CMGragain · December 2013

Decline the rude invitation.

Ven&Radio · December 2013

Not only is it rude, but 1920s style (especially for women) are pretty specific and not something everyone has in their wardrobe. This is my personally opinion, but I tend to think women need to be ridiculously thin with little definition (breasts, waist, hips) to pull off a 20s style dress -- so, it's not even a good look on most women.

netskyblue2 · December 2013

Rude. I would either go along with it (if I wanted to) or decline, if I did not. I would not show up wearing something else, because even though it was rude to "require" particular clothing, I think it's just as rude to purposely do something that would upset the B & G, even if they had no right to ask such a thing in the first place. I wouldn't consider it rude to decline the invitation, and I would still send a gift.

jdluvr06 · December 2013

Putting "required" on the invitation was rude but personally I love the 1920s and this is something I would have a lot of fun with. If you're not into it then just wear what you were planning on wearing in the first place. I don't at all agree with the PPs who are saying you should wear the most modern thing you can find or that you should decline the invitation because of that. IMO that would petty and childish.

Required attire for guests

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