Okay, so I'm about as far from a bridezilla as you could get. I'm not the type who has imagined for years about what my wedding will look like and I have no big vision that we need to adhere to. I actually thought I would end up getting married in Las Vegas or a courthouse someday in some relatively informal event. But, now that I'm actually getting married we are doing a more traditional (although destination) wedding with about 30-40 guests. It's early afternoon wedding, so still not super formal even either. But, most of the wedding is provided in a package (flowers, cake, food, décor, DJ, etc.), which I love because that means it is simple. I can customize it however I want, but we could show up without doing anything and it would still be a wonderful wedding. I've thought about ideas to customize it, but honestly I'm starting to seriously consider just leaving it as is for the most part and not worrying about modifying any of it.
I honestly don't care what my wedding party wears. We picked a color, gave them samples of it (ribbon we bought for décor) and I told them buy anything you like similar to that color. They don't need to be exact color match. They don't need all wear same style. I told them they don't even need to run it by me first... if you like it, buy it. It really doesn't matter that much to me. Honestly, for all I care, they could show up in blue jeans... I'd still marry my best friend and have a wonderful wedding. So, my BM's have decided to get the same style dress and are coordinating... great, whatever. But, now I'm getting stuck with lots of text messages (we live in separate states, so I can't shop with them) of "which dress would you prefer we wear... this one or this one?" and "Is this one better than the last one?" or "so what style dress are you thinking we should wear?". I'm finding myself responding with a lot of "that's pretty, whatever you want". I have absolutely no pre-conceived notions of what I want them to wear. One of my BM's is the fashionista type, which I certainly am not, so they are probably much more apt to pick an outfit than I am. But, since they are all more fashion conscious than I am, they don't really like my answer of "just find a dress and wear it".
And now my FI is starting tux shopping as well, and I'm getting all the same questions from him. And I know even less about tuxes than I do about dresses. At least he made the tux vs. suit decision on his own. But, I told him his best bet is to go to the tux store and get their advice on what style to do. Then we plan to coordinate his tie & vest color with whatever the BM's get. It sounds like my BM's are shopping at David's, so we can get the same colors for tux if FI rents from Mens Warehouse.
We haven't even gotten to the flower girl dress yet. I told them to just find something cute on clearance after Easter. Probably just something white and we will put a colored bow on it to match wedding color. So, we will see if that turns into the same ordeal.
But, I'm kind of annoyed by having to make every decision. Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know it's my wedding. But that doesn't mean I should have to dictate every decision. I don't feel the need to tell my wedding party what to buy or wear. And if I say it doesn't matter to me, can't people just believe me and make the decision themselves? I have no desire or patience for micro-managing everyone's shopping trips. It was bad enough trying to figure out what I'm going wear... I really have no desire to pick out what everyone else is wearing too.
This post was more just to rant. But, does anyone have any advice? Am I being unreasonable by not helping pick everything out? I almost feel like I'm starting to sound rude by always telling them that it doesn't matter to me.