Cash bar

Lily9911 · December 2013

I've never been to WW so I thought I'd check it out. I read a thread about having the OPTION to what you'd rather go to, a cash bar or open bar wedding.

Every single bride answered "Totally a cash bar so I have the option on how much I drink."

You have the option, whether it's a cash bar or an open bar. So if you bring $100 dollars with you, you'll drink $100 worth of alcohol? You're telling me that a free bar prevents you from controlling yourself with alcohol?

I quickly exited the website before I created an account to comment on that mess.

Edited: I couldn't think of the name of what you call a bar that's free. It's been awhile...

aurorajanette · December 2013

Yeah, it's not worth it. Many of the members of WW wouldn't know etiquette if it hit them in the face.

ETA: Changed wording so as not to completely generalize.

climbingsingle · December 2013

That is some pretty dumb logic right there.

NYCBruin · December 2013

Lily9911 said:

I've never been to WW so I thought I'd check it out. I read a thread about having the OPTION to what you'd rather go to, a cash bar or open bar wedding.

Every single bride answered "Totally a cash bar so I have the option on how much I drink."

You have the option, whether it's a cash bar or an open bar. So if you bring $100 dollars with you, you'll drink $100 worth of alcohol? You're telling me that a free bar prevents you from controlling yourself with alcohol?

I quickly exited the website before I created an account to comment on that mess.

Edited: I couldn't think of the name of what you call a bar that's free. It's been awhile...

I'm always somewhat amazed by the mental gymnastics some people are able to do to convince themselves they aren't being rude.

pinkcow13 · December 2013

Lily9911 - is this the thread you are referring to? Because it is asking if you want the option of attending a cash bar or no bar. Not sure if this is what you are referring to, because I skimmed the top part and went right to the comments and thought it couldn't be correct, so I read the question again and realized what they were really asking.

http://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/as-guest-would-you-rather-cash-bar-or-no-bar/8178f1adae5ff5a7.html?page=2

lyndausvi · December 2013

My favorite line is "people are less likely to get drunk if they pay for their own drinks".

Pretty sure bars across the world prove that statement is wrong.

Lily9911 · December 2013

pinkcow13 said:

Lily9911 - is this the thread you are referring to? Because it is asking if you want the option of attending a cash bar or no bar. Not sure if this is what you are referring to, because I skimmed the top part and went right to the comments and thought it couldn't be correct, so I read the question again and realized what they were really asking.

http://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/as-guest-would-you-rather-cash-bar-or-no-bar/8178f1adae5ff5a7.html?page=2

YES!

Who chooses to go to the cash bar option? And is HAPPY about it.

WW does....fuckin' WW.

buddysmom80 · December 2013

Stuff like this makes me face-palm so hard.

My dad and I had a debate about this the other day. He's paying for the venue and asked that we have cash bar.

I told him that it would be like when he comes over that he would have to pay for the Jack Daniels he drinks but he can eat everything he wants.

He was worried about liability if someone got drunk enough to get into an accident, I told him the venue was liable.

I also gave him an example (and I think this example should be used for any brides considering a full cash bar): I was a BM in a wedding a few months ago. She opted for cash bar. All the guests stayed for the first dance and dinner but once they went up to the bar and realized the only drinks that were free were water, coffee and tea, people left. The party went from 50 people to 15 after dinner. Am I saying that what her guests did was right? No. But, I'd rather pay more money and have my guests stay around and have a good time then have everyone leave and go to the bar down the street.

Just my .02

Lily9911 · December 2013

buddysmom80 said:

Stuff like this makes me face-palm so hard.

My dad and I had a debate about this the other day. He's paying for the venue and asked that we have cash bar.

I told him that it would be like when he comes over that he would have to pay for the Jack Daniels he drinks but he can eat everything he wants.

He was worried about liability if someone got drunk enough to get into an accident, I told him the venue was liable.

I also gave him an example (and I think this example should be used for any brides considering a full cash bar): I was a BM in a wedding a few months ago. She opted for cash bar. All the guests stayed for the first dance and dinner but once they went up to the bar and realized the only drinks that were free were water, coffee and tea, people left. The party went from 50 people to 15 after dinner. Am I saying that what her guests did was right? No. But, I'd rather pay more money and have my guests stay around and have a good time then have everyone leave and go to the bar down the street.

Just my .02

It's funny how different people act when there isn't any alcohol or when they have to pay for things but you know what? That's how things go. We may not like it, but I know that's the exact reason why I left the one cash bar wedding I've ever been to. But I waited until after the cake was served.

Imagine if you invited people over your own home but marked down every bite they took and then handed them a BILL at the end of the dinner? I'd be mortified!

HaileyDancingbear · December 2013

Wow are those girls part goldfish? They seriously can't stop drinking unless something (In this case money) stops them? I hate it when people are like that, it's one of my biggest pet peeves. I never understand the girl that shows up to a party, gets so unbelievably wasted she starts crying and puking, and ends up having to be babysat the whole night because she's too incapacitated to do anything.

Seriously, if you think you're mature enough to handle alcohol, you should be mature enough to know your damn limits and realize that maybe that mixed drink with three shots worth or tequila is not like a beer. If you can't handle being around free alcohol without going nuts, maybe you're just not mature enough to drink at all. These girls need to get some self-control.

winnipegwriter · December 2013

She was asking a hypothetical question as to whether people would rather go to a wedding with a cash bar or NO bar. An open bar didn't even factor into her question. If I had the choice between a CASH bar or NO bar, I'd pick cash (if those were my only options).

JCbride2015 · December 2013

winnipegwriter said:

She was asking a hypothetical question as to whether people would rather go to a wedding with a cash bar or NO bar. An open bar didn't even factor into her question. If I had the choice between a CASH bar or NO bar, I'd pick cash (if those were my only options).

I would pick no bar, honestly. Cash bars create divisions among guests based on who can pay and who can't.

Gisellerina · December 2013

Even though I think cash bars are rude and tacky, I would rather attend a wedding reception with a cash bar than no bar. Unless it was a cake and punch reception. Then I wouldn't care.

jdluvr06 · December 2013

Honestly I would go to a cash bar over no bar. I would rather pay for the alcohol then have none. I've been to weddings that had dry receptions and I usually leave after they cut the cake.

sunshinejenn03 · December 2013

Dry weddings are horribly boring. At least give me the option to pay for the booze if you aren't hosting an open bar.

misshart00 · December 2013

Good to know that booze is more important than your friends.

sunshinejenn03 · December 2013

Booze is not more important than my friends. I'm just stating that dry weddings are boring because I like to get down and party. And I need alcohol to dance. Because I can't dance.

jdluvr06 · December 2013

Good to know that booze is more important than your friends.

It's not booze are more important but let's face it. Dry receptions are less exciting and they do tend to break up earlier. The couple cutting the cake is tends to be the last ceremonial thing in the wedding. If I didn't care about my friends more than booze then I wouldn't go to the wedding at all. Would you say something similar to people who would skip a wedding if there was a cash bar?

sunshinejenn03 · December 2013

jdluvr06 said:

Good to know that booze is more important than your friends.
It's not booze are more important but let's face it. Dry receptions are less exciting and they do tend to break up earlier. The couple cutting the cake is tends to be the last ceremonial thing in the wedding. If I didn't care about my friends more than booze then I wouldn't go to the wedding at all. Would you say something similar to people who would skip a wedding if there was a cash bar?

This.

smalfrie19 · December 2013

You know..having attended weddings before the age of 21..i still enjoyed weddings and staying because well..i like dancing and spending time socializing..i feel like people who "need to drink" to dance or have fun...are sad....

sunshinejenn03 · December 2013

smalfrie19 said:

You know..having attended weddings before the age of 21..i still enjoyed weddings and staying because well..i like dancing and spending time socializing..i feel like people who "need to drink" to dance or have fun...are sad....

I know you're really fishing to make yourself feel superior, but some people do like to drink when they go to weddings. I don't think anyone in here said they needed to drink, just that they preferred to. If cash bar is the option over none at all, well, then...

smalfrie19 · December 2013

sunshinejenn03 said:

smalfrie19 said:

You know..having attended weddings before the age of 21..i still enjoyed weddings and staying because well..i like dancing and spending time socializing..i feel like people who "need to drink" to dance or have fun...are sad....
I know you're really fishing to make yourself feel superior, but some people do like to drink when they go to weddings. I don't think anyone in here said they needed to drink, just that they preferred to. If cash bar is the option over none at all, well, then...

You just said you "need alcohol to dance" ...and I enjoy drinking as much as the next person. Fuck, I come home most nights and have something to drink. I just think its sad people say they "NEED" it to dance or have a good time..or what have you... it doesn't make me superior..its just my opinion.

sunshinejenn03 · December 2013

smalfrie19 said:

sunshinejenn03 said:

smalfrie19 said:

You know..having attended weddings before the age of 21..i still enjoyed weddings and staying because well..i like dancing and spending time socializing..i feel like people who "need to drink" to dance or have fun...are sad....
I know you're really fishing to make yourself feel superior, but some people do like to drink when they go to weddings. I don't think anyone in here said they needed to drink, just that they preferred to. If cash bar is the option over none at all, well, then...

You just said you "need alcohol to dance" ...and I enjoy drinking as much as the next person. Fuck, I come home most nights and have something to drink. I just think its sad people say they "NEED" it to dance or have a good time..or what have you... it doesn't make me superior..its just my opinion.

Girl, I have NO MOVES. Of course I need it to dance. At least this way I'm less ashamed of my lack of rhythm.

JCbride2015 · December 2013

I like to drink when I go out, and yeah, I'm more likely to dance with a couple of drinks in me. But I still prefer no bar over cash bar. Cash bar makes it feel like I'm out at a bar like any other night, not at a hosted event. Plus most people don't expect to pay for anything at a wedding and wouldn't have cash (I certainly wouldn't). And as I said above, cash bar creates division between those with discretionary cash and those without.

smalfrie19 · December 2013

sunshinejenn03 said:

smalfrie19 said:

sunshinejenn03 said:

smalfrie19 said:

You know..having attended weddings before the age of 21..i still enjoyed weddings and staying because well..i like dancing and spending time socializing..i feel like people who "need to drink" to dance or have fun...are sad....
I know you're really fishing to make yourself feel superior, but some people do like to drink when they go to weddings. I don't think anyone in here said they needed to drink, just that they preferred to. If cash bar is the option over none at all, well, then...

You just said you "need alcohol to dance" ...and I enjoy drinking as much as the next person. Fuck, I come home most nights and have something to drink. I just think its sad people say they "NEED" it to dance or have a good time..or what have you... it doesn't make me superior..its just my opinion.
Girl, I have NO MOVES. Of course I need it to dance. At least this way I'm less ashamed of my lack of rhythm.

and I think its upsetting that you just can't own it. I own all my shit and I don't need anything to help me do it. I say dumb shit and sometimes I am a raging bitch..but I don't need to go "Oh well the alcohol/lack of sleep/etc etc etc made me do it" I go yep. I just said that or yep I am a raging bitch right now. Be confident enough in yourself to own your shit!

jdluvr06 · December 2013

You know..having attended weddings before the age of 21..i still enjoyed weddings and staying because well..i like dancing and spending time socializing..i feel like people who "need to drink" to dance or have fun...are sad....

I don't need to drink to have fun but I don't dance and typically by the time they cut the cake I've already socialized with everyone. I tend to leave weddings earlier than most anyway because I'm not a big wedding person in general. The wedding receptions I tend to stay at the longest are the ones that feel more like a regular party than a wedding reception.

kmmssg · December 2013

I would never advise someone to have a cash bar and none of my DDs' weddings have had/will have a cash bar, but....I would ten times prefer a cash bar to a dry wedding.

I'd really like OP to come back and correct her post so that it reflects what was really asked on WW.

HisGirlFriday13 · December 2013

jdluvr06 said:

Good to know that booze is more important than your friends.
It's not booze are more important but let's face it. Dry receptions are less exciting and they do tend to break up earlier. The couple cutting the cake is tends to be the last ceremonial thing in the wedding. If I didn't care about my friends more than booze then I wouldn't go to the wedding at all. Would you say something similar to people who would skip a wedding if there was a cash bar?

False. I have been to a dry wedding that was absolutely as enjoyable as a wedding with a bar -- and we still went until after midnight.

lyndausvi said:

My favorite line is "people are less likely to get drunk if they pay for their own drinks".

Pretty sure bars across the world prove that statement is wrong.

That's actually the reason a vineyard gave us for allowing ONLY a cash bar on premises. Needless to say, we did not book them.

sunshinejenn03 · December 2013

JCBride2014 said:

I like to drink when I go out, and yeah, I'm more likely to dance with a couple of drinks in me. But I still prefer no bar over cash bar. Cash bar makes it feel like I'm out at a bar like any other night, not at a hosted event. Plus most people don't expect to pay for anything at a wedding and wouldn't have cash (I certainly wouldn't). And as I said above, cash bar creates division between those with discretionary cash and those without.

We're going to just disagree here. The division exists regardless and it's not anyone's problem but their own. Life in general isn't very fair.
I certainly prefer hosted bar over cash, because who doesn't?

smalfrie19 said:

sunshinejenn03 said:

smalfrie19 said:

sunshinejenn03 said:

smalfrie19 said:

You know..having attended weddings before the age of 21..i still enjoyed weddings and staying because well..i like dancing and spending time socializing..i feel like people who "need to drink" to dance or have fun...are sad....
I know you're really fishing to make yourself feel superior, but some people do like to drink when they go to weddings. I don't think anyone in here said they needed to drink, just that they preferred to. If cash bar is the option over none at all, well, then...

You just said you "need alcohol to dance" ...and I enjoy drinking as much as the next person. Fuck, I come home most nights and have something to drink. I just think its sad people say they "NEED" it to dance or have a good time..or what have you... it doesn't make me superior..its just my opinion.
Girl, I have NO MOVES. Of course I need it to dance. At least this way I'm less ashamed of my lack of rhythm.

and I think its upsetting that you just can't own it. I own all my shit and I don't need anything to help me do it. I say dumb shit and sometimes I am a raging bitch..but I don't need to go "Oh well the alcohol/lack of sleep/etc etc etc made me do it" I go yep. I just said that or yep I am a raging bitch right now. Be confident enough in yourself to own your shit!

There is NO WAY on this earth I will own bad dancing skills sober. NO. I will own PMS. I will own bad days. I will not own THAT.

jdluvr06 · December 2013

jdluvr06 said:

Good to know that booze is more important than your friends.
It's not booze are more important but let's face it. Dry receptions are less exciting and they do tend to break up earlier. The couple cutting the cake is tends to be the last ceremonial thing in the wedding. If I didn't care about my friends more than booze then I wouldn't go to the wedding at all. Would you say something similar to people who would skip a wedding if there was a cash bar?

False. I have been to a dry wedding that was absolutely as enjoyable as a wedding with a bar -- and we still went until after midnight.

lyndausvi said:

My favorite line is "people are less likely to get drunk if they pay for their own drinks".

Pretty sure bars across the world prove that statement is wrong.

That's actually the reason a vineyard gave us for allowing ONLY a cash bar on premises. Needless to say, we did not book them.

Maybe that is how it was for that wedding but I've never been to a dry reception that didn't break up earlier than one with alcohol does. I don't think I'm the only who has had that experience since in other threads I have seen other posters say the same thing. I personally wouldn't turn down a wedding invitation based on what type of bar they were having since I think that would be petty but my preference would be cash bar over no bar.

kerbohl · December 2013

smalfrie19 said:

sunshinejenn03 said:

smalfrie19 said:

sunshinejenn03 said:

smalfrie19 said:

You know..having attended weddings before the age of 21..i still enjoyed weddings and staying because well..i like dancing and spending time socializing..i feel like people who "need to drink" to dance or have fun...are sad....
I know you're really fishing to make yourself feel superior, but some people do like to drink when they go to weddings. I don't think anyone in here said they needed to drink, just that they preferred to. If cash bar is the option over none at all, well, then...

You just said you "need alcohol to dance" ...and I enjoy drinking as much as the next person. Fuck, I come home most nights and have something to drink. I just think its sad people say they "NEED" it to dance or have a good time..or what have you... it doesn't make me superior..its just my opinion.
Girl, I have NO MOVES. Of course I need it to dance. At least this way I'm less ashamed of my lack of rhythm.

and I think its upsetting that you just can't own it. I own all my shit and I don't need anything to help me do it. I say dumb shit and sometimes I am a raging bitch..but I don't need to go "Oh well the alcohol/lack of sleep/etc etc etc made me do it" I go yep. I just said that or yep I am a raging bitch right now. Be confident enough in yourself to own your shit!

I agree with the point of the bolded. I don't need alcohol to make a complete fool of myself, I just go and do it. I went to the Hobbit three weeks after it opened last year in full costume. I looked like a crazy person, and I was sober as can be. I don't need alcohol to do crazy crazy things. I have been to weddings with open bars, didn't drink a drop, and showed off my horrid dance moves on the floor. Then I got annoyed by the obnoxiously drunk people who started crowding the floor and being rude and I left.

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