Moms and Maids

Reality this a thing?

So I just got an email from a co-bridesmaid in my best friend's wedding. She started this (genuinely awesome) Google Doc that the six of us are contributing to for the bridal shower/bachelorette party. I love it, it's encouraging an exchange of ideas, it's great.


One of the action items is, "Dress code for bridesmaids? Dresses? All white? Ideas??"

Is this a real thing? Do I need to wear something that matches the other girls for the shower/b-party? Or do I have permission to snark all over this and respond, "CLOTHES, ma'am. Clothes."

Re: Reality this a thing?

  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I have never heard about bridesmaids coordinating their apparel for pre-wedding parties.
  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches the Northern Plains member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Oh man, I would snark so fast but I'm just a little too quick to do that ...
  • Snark. Snark a lot. Because awwww hell to the no the BM'S have to match for the shower or b-party.

    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers

    Snarrrrrrrrrk it.

  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I have not seen it personally among my daughter or her friends, but I have seen photos where there was clearly a dress code.  The most common one I have seen is the bridal party dressed all in black and the bride wears white.  I am guessing the point is to "highlight" the bride.  I have also seen the bridal party dress in the wedding "colors".  

    Who thinks of this stuff?
  • I know that the bride doesn't own the color white for the duration of her engagement, but I would side-eye a gaggle of BMs who all wore white to a shower they threw for the Bride.  I would gently (because I'm a wuss) say that it might put more attention on the BMs if we coordinated outfits and say that we should just dress how we normally would. Especially if you're already needing to match for the wedding day!
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  • hahaha. I don't think this is a thing. I think the other BM was just trying to be cute. Don't call her out too hard, but I also wouldn't agree to intentionally match. I've been to a bach party where we accidentally all matched b/c we wore LBDs (our choice b/c it made sense at the club we were going to) and the bride's sister bought us these pink sashes. The bride had a white one. I must say though, it did look really good, and none of us had to buy drinks the whole night...
  • Thanks all! I was like, "...I better make sure this isn't real before I get my panties in a bunch," lol.

    I kept the snark in my head and just said I wasn't a fan of trying to coordinate outfits (with a sad face, of course). I mean, if it's something I had in my closet anyway I might go along with it just to keep the peace, but if I have to buy something new...well, I simply can't afford to buy new outfits for this purpose. So we'll see where that goes.
  • I went to a bach party once that the bride requested we all wear black and she wore white. I "forgot" and wore a really pretty bright blue dress. Ooops!
    So, in that, can you just delete that action item?
  • I have seen pics of parties where there was a theme and it could look really cute or just weird.

    Like my FI's sister was a MoH to her best friend last year. She did a bridal shower with the theme of Paris, France. She let the ladies know of her idea and ran it by the BMs. They were all okay with it and then began to coordinate what to wear to match the theme. (they were going for paris, france in the 30s-40s. not very modern clothing) They didn't match (like exact color and dress) but they did try to go with the same era type look and they all looked so fantastic.

    I think if it's all agreed upon then go for it  but when it isn't discussed and you are told you have to wear a certain something without having any input I would not be too happy.
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  • Bubblegum5586Bubblegum5586 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    edited December 2013
    I have never seen it for a shower but have seen it many times for bachelorettes, but nothing ever too crazy. 

    My SIL we were told to try and wear something sparkly or sequins (not everyone participated but it was NBD). 

    For my best friend we asked if you could where some sort of Tie Dye (this turned out awesome! Everyone was so proud to show off their tie dying skills and everyone wore a style/outfit and colors that were unique to themselves... we had 18 girls participate - it was an overnight too!)

    and lastly for my own they told me to wear white and that everyone else was wearing black and white, it didn't seem like a big deal because most people have those colors. Come to find out the theme was a "white tiger theme" (my obsession as a child) and they decorated the hotel suite with my white tiger stuffed animals and everyone wore black cat ears and I wore white ones with a veil! Very cute and unique!

  • Here's a group shot
    B.jpg 101.7K

  • I see nothing wrong with having a theme for a bachelorette party, but they can't make a dress code mandatory.
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  • Here's a group shot
    That looks very cute!! =)
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  • jessirayjessiray member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited January 2014
    I've never seen (or have done) a "dress code" for bridesmaids for the bridal party. I've checked with the other girls to see what they were wearing, but we never had a like "we all wear blue dresses to the bridal shower" moment. I've seen coordinated bachelorette parties, which can be cute. If my sister's bachelorette party hadn't been canceled, we would have done black dresses with her in hot pink. She really likes that type of stuff, though. Personally, I could care less about coordination in my bridal party. @bubblegum, that is really cute!! Had to edit to say I would probably be a little snarky… especially if you knew the bride really didn't care about that stuff ;)
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