I feel like I have learned A LOT about proper etiquette especially relating to weddings from research on the Internet. And this forum has helped me to learn a lot about different people's views on what proper etiquette is. It has helped me to learn popular opinions and unpopular opinions, and I feel like I have mostly been able to check sources that I think are reliable (I like Emily Post) to get the 'final' answer when there are discrepancies.
I know I can't be the only frustrated person who finds that knowing 'proper etiquette' can actually be quite frustrating when nobody else around you follows it or even knows about it. And politely informing people about what proper etiquette is usually doesn't work- it either leads to the person feeling strongly that they know better because of weddings they've been to before or what people they know have said- or even dismissing you immediately with "Oh I could care less about all that proper etiquette wedding stuff. It's so stupid. I'm going to do things the way that I want to do things..." And when they ask me to site my source and all I have is 'the internet' or 'the knot etiquette forum' most people I know are not concerned about that. It's fine with me, I am not judgmental of other people following or not following etiquette that I believe to be right. But sometimes, I wish that I didn't know as much as I did because it frustrates me when I go out of my way to follow it and nobody around me notices or returns it back my way. Which has made me wonder more than once- what is the point of following etiquette strongly supported on internet etiquette forums when it goes against the 'etiquette norm' in my area, my circle of friends, my generation?
Sometimes I have felt like going out of my way to follow proper etiquette when I got married was pointless when nobody around me recognized it. And when I'm a bridesmaid for others they don't follow any etiquette at all and I don't want to get annoyed or frustrated or judgmental. Sometimes I feel like it actually would be easier to be polite if I didn't know all the etiquette rules! Well, I don't really know all of them. Just more than most of my friends and family are interested to know. It doesn't seem to matter to others, and I've even felt silly admitting that I was researching etiquette.
It's like if a tree falls in a forest and nobody is around to hear it kind of thing. If I didn't know that it was rude to have my husband sit at a different table when I'm your bridesmaid, would it occur to me to be annoyed? I think I actually may have preferred to be blissfully unaware!