Wedding Etiquette Forum

Rehearsal Dinner Guests

Hi ladies! Etiquette question for you-- who gets invited to the rehearsal dinner for a wedding that is in a resort/destination community with a guest list comprised of more than 75% out-of-towners? My mother says family and out-of-town guests must be included, while my fiance and I want just our wedding party and parents (as family and out-of-town guests would be more than 150 people). Help!

Re: Rehearsal Dinner Guests

  • PDKH said:
    Nope, your mom is wrong. While it's very polite to invite out-of-town guests to the rehearsal, the only people you absolutely must invite are those who attend the rehearsal and their S/O's.


    this. 

    but if you're having a destination wedding, are you holding some kind of welcome party? it's not required (and doesn't need to be expensive or formal), but seems to be common and a nice gesture. 
  • Traditionally, the RD was hosted by the groom's family and included all WP members, their spouses/SOs, and all OOT guests.

    But that was also, as Miss Manners points out, at a time when the groom's family was hosting and was looking for a way to showcase their personal taste and party-throwing ability.

    You need to invite anyone involved in the rehearsal (other than vendors -- your organist, if you're having one, could be excluded if you wanted, since he or she is a paid vendor) PLUS their SOs.

    Officiants are usually invited as a courtesy, with their spouse (if they have one). Also, sometimes honored guests (parents, grandparents) are invited, although sometimes they're involved in the rehearsal anyway with being seated specially or whatever.
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • You're fine including just parents and wedding party/SOs. Its unrealistic to host an RD for 150 for most people. 
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  • Our wedding is in Newport, RI (which, while not a Caribbean island, is a major summer tourist destination), and my fiance's parents are paying for the dinner. Money isn't an issue for them, so we don't have to worry about a budget. We will definitely invite our officiant and wedding party's SO's.
  • If your future in-laws are hosting, it's up to them if they want to invite OOT guests. But again, it's not required by any means.
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