Delicate Situation

Re: Delicate Situation

• MyNameIsNot member

  

  January 2014

  Have alcohol or don't.  No need to warn FBIL of the decision ahead of time.  

  
  

  If you find out he sneaks something in, alert the appropriate manager at the venue.  They will dump it or have him remove it from the venue.  In many places, sneaking alcohol into an establishment without a liquor license is not only causes insurance and other problems, but is illegal.  

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• Jen4948 member

  

  January 2014

  MyNameIsNot said:

  Have alcohol or don't.  No need to warn FBIL of the decision ahead of time.  

  
  

  If you find out he sneaks something in, alert the appropriate manager at the venue.  They will dump it or have him remove it from the venue.  In many places, sneaking alcohol into an establishment without a liquor license is not only causes insurance and other problems, but is illegal.  

  This.  Also, have security on hand, if the venue doesn't have its own, that will escort FBIL and FI's uncle if they try to smuggle in alcohol.
  

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• ElcaB member

  

  January 2014

  firebabe6519 said:

  Our venue doesn't allow outside alcohol. Which is fine by us. FI and I would prefer to have a dry reception as it is. We have a number of guests who are not-quite-reformed alcoholics, and we would prefer not to put them in that situation or risk dealing with trashed guests. However FBIL and FI's uncle insist that they need alcohol at a wedding or what's the point in going. FBIL even insisted that if we do not provide liquor he will be bringing his own stash to imbibe. FBIL and I aren't exactly on the best of terms, but he and FI are very close. I don't want to stir up any trouble. FI doesn't take this seriously. He thinks as long as his brother keeps it under wraps it not a problem. I don't want to be the bad guy / bridezilla, but I don't feel that it is fair to allow FBIL to sneak in his own liquor but not to serve it to other guests. Not to mention the host of potential problems that could arise from flouting the venue's policy.

  A few questions: 

  1. Are FBIL & Fi's uncle contributing financially? If they are, it's okay for them to have a say in your beverage choices. A say, not the deciding factor. 
     
  2. Are FBIL & FI's uncle alcoholics? If you need alcohol and cannot see the point in going to a wedding, which is you know, to celebrate a marriage, then maybe they should investigate rehab facilities and spend the wedding weekend there instead. 

  FBIL is an adult and is responsible for his choices. If he sneaks alcohol in, then he can deal with the consequences of them being confiscated by management or getting kicked out of the venue. This is not your problem! I wouldn't give it another thought. Continue planning the wedding you want, with or without alcohol. 

  

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• firebabe6519 member

  

  January 2014

  We are paying for everything. They aren't alcoholics. His family just typically has alcohol at any event and doesn't think our reasoning is a good enough reason to not have it.

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• rose0068 member

  

  January 2014

  The way I see it, you're paying for everything. It's your and your FI's day. You gave the FBIL and Uncle a heads up that you will not be serving it. They're adults, if they sneak it in, let a security or management figure know. From what I'm told from former brides is that what your guests do - break - sneak - etc. falls back on YOU. So if you don't want any issues after the wedding, I'd just let someone know when it's happening so no further 'damage' is done. I don't think it will cause a stir up between the FI and his FBIL and Uncle. For all they know, someone could have 'anonymously' reported the sneaking of alcohol in.

   Just can't wait til July 11th, 2015!

  

  
  

  

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• doeydo member

  

  January 2014

  firebabe6519 said:

  Our venue doesn't allow outside alcohol. Which is fine by us. FI and I would prefer to have a dry reception as it is. We have a number of guests who are not-quite-reformed alcoholics, and we would prefer not to put them in that situation or risk dealing with trashed guests. However FBIL and FI's uncle insist that they need alcohol at a wedding or what's the point in going. FBIL even insisted that if we do not provide liquor he will be bringing his own stash to imbibe. FBIL and I aren't exactly on the best of terms, but he and FI are very close. I don't want to stir up any trouble. FI doesn't take this seriously. He thinks as long as his brother keeps it under wraps it not a problem. I don't want to be the bad guy / bridezilla, but I don't feel that it is fair to allow FBIL to sneak in his own liquor but not to serve it to other guests. Not to mention the host of potential problems that could arise from flouting the venue's policy.

  The point of going is to see the couple get married, not to get drunk.  SMH
  Anywho, if they want to be idiots and smuggle in their own flasks, then they can get kicked out.  

  
  

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• nicole4793 member

  

  January 2014

  If they're only going for alcohol, they're going for all the wrong reasons! Ideally, it should be all about you and your fiancé. It's really thoughtful that you're considering doing a dry reception. Stick with what you feel is right.

  
  

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