What do you think of "Family Style" wedding meals?

Angusaur · January 2014

I want a very laid back, country setting wedding. I plan to serve down-home southern dishes. I heard of this family style trend, and like it but wonder how I would feel as a guest. I've never been to a wedding where they actually did it, so not sure how I'd like it. I guess it really depends on if I'm sitting with people I really know and like.

I'm definitely not doing sit down dinner. It will be buffet, or family style. What are your thoughts?

Jen4948 · January 2014

I've never seen this at a wedding.

I'd prefer to be able to choose for myself what I'm going to eat without having to worry that there won't be enough for me, or enough for anyone else after I take some, so I'm not a fan of family-style. I think in your situation I'd go with a buffet option. I realize that this has some of the same issues, but I'd prefer to get mine and bring it to my seat.

Cookie Pusher · January 2014

I've seen this done at Chinese weddings and events (huge tables, lazy susans full of ridiculous amounts food, etc.), but that's about it. I personally wouldn't think anything of it, but that's because that's how I grew up. Others may not feel as comfortable. Then again, they might like being able to eat a little of everything without having to wait on a buffet line.

pbi9994 · January 2014

If it's a small wedding, family style can fit with your theme. Otherwise, it could get out of hand.

Personally, I love the idea, but some may not. I would definitely prefer family style to buffet (long buffet lines and cold food). You just need to make sure each table gets enough food so that no one is left wanting.

climbingsingle · January 2014

One of the venues I looked at offered family style meals. I personally really liked the idea.

Maggie0829 · January 2014

I like the idea of family style but the logistics could be an issue (will you have wait staff coming around and replenishing the food/taking away empty serving trays and bowls) I also find that depending on the number of people you have at a table and how much stuff you have on that table, adding serving trays and bowls will just completely clutter up the table.

garnetandgold60 · January 2014

Personally I think this is definitely a "know your crowd" issue. If you're having a relatively small wedding, and you know your guests would be cool with it, then it could be do-able.

However if you want to have a larger southern wedding (my GA-born cousin had 300+ people) then I don't think it would work...cold food, not enough, etc.

Stations, if possible, might be a suggestion. That way it's similar to family style (serve yourself), but without having to wait in a long line just to grab some more crab cakes!

Just my two cents, hope it helps!

Liatris2010 · January 2014

I would prefer family style to buffet. With family style there is no long line to wait on, you don't have to carry your plate across a slippery dance floor in heels, and instead of 100 people touching the serving ware, there are 10.

s-aries8990 · January 2014

I agree - it's situational. If you have a service staff that will be there to replenish trays when necessary (not just one tray per table and that's it), enough room on the table so it's not too crowded, and a not-super-formal wedding, I think it could totally work. I like the idea of that much more than a buffet.

Ven&Radio · January 2014

I'm not a fan of buffets and I think my main concerns apply to family-style as well. You never know who is going to sneeze/cough/etc on the food (at least a good buffet should have a sneeze guard) or who is going to drop the serving utensil into the food and have to fish it out with their (possibly unclean) hands. Furthermore, with family style, comes the concern of dividing up the food so everyone gets enough to eat. Aunt Martha shouldn't have to miss out on the mashed potatoes because I'm starving and got to them before her.

MobKaz · January 2014

My son and his bride had a tapas style dinner. I think at least a dozen food options were presented. For each course....appetizer, salad, entree.....there were at least 4 selections. In each course there was 1 or 2 vegetarian options.

This was done at a restaurant that specializes in serving in this way. The staff was beyond efficient in their service, clearing, and supplementing of foods. The guests knew ahead of time what to expect so they could make decisions as to what they might decline or accept. The guests absolutely loved the interactive experience.

I also would prefer family style to buffet in a heartbeat.

jdluvr06 · January 2014

I would prefer family style too but I also think it would depend on the size of your wedding on how well it work.

Inkdancer · January 2014

I also like the "stations" suggestion. Family style could definitely result in overcrowded tables and some logistical awkwardness. With stations, no one line gets excessively long and everyone still gets a bit of everything.

MandyMost · January 2014

I've been to 2 weddings this year that had family style food. Both were probably about 130 people, 8-10 people per table. I thought it worked great at both of them. There was room at the table for the dishes, and there was PLENTY of food. Things were replenished if they ran out, but things only ran out after people were having seconds.

I like it so much better than the buffet because 1) I can remain sitting and don't have to worry about carrying my plate around, or looking like a pig for going back for more, and 2) there's only 7-9 other people touching it instead of hundreds, and you can see each person doing it.

Angusaur · January 2014

I'm looking at around 110-130 guests. What about having the main entrees being stationed and side dishes family style?

Lindzxxo · January 2014

Angusaur said:

I'm looking at around 110-130 guests. What about having the main entrees being stationed and side dishes family style?

I would do either one or the other not both. You should have 10-13 tables which should be fine with family style as long as you make sure you have enough food

HeatherKat · January 2014

I'm from Northeast Wisconsin, home of the partially hosted bar and family style Broasted Chicken dinner. Seriously, probably 80+% of the weddings I've been to/bartended for have been family style, and it's pretty much expected around here. Because it's so common, servers are great about keeping food bowls hot and full. If it's not as common in your area, the logistics may not go quite as smoothly, but in general I've seen very few problems with family style, even for 250+ person weddings.

aurianna · January 2014

I was at a family style wedding once.

Everyone at the table seemed to like it well enough, however I did not, but I'm thinking it's due to my personal issues more than anything.

There were 10 of us at the table.
The only entree was salmon. There was a plate that had ten servings of it. Everyone just took one and I gave my husband mine.

There was a bowl of pad Thai for a side that you just scooped out what you wanted. But I don't do peanuts.

I think there was some bowl of veggie type things that you scooped.

And then there was a plate with 12 potato thingies. Everyone took one.

But being as the only entrees at this wedding were seafood and something full of peanuts (and the apps had all been sushi...), I was really hungry so I took an extra potato thingie... and I felt really guilty and piggish for it since there weren't enough for everyone to have two.

Personally I would have been much happier if we all had these things just on our plate. Then I would have traded my husband his potato for my salmon, his veggies for my pad thai, we each would have gotten to eat almost the exact amount that we did with family style, and I wouldn't have felt awkward about it.

However at this one no one was going around replenishing. Maybe if it were at least somewhat clear that there was more, no one would feel like a pariah for taking the last of something on the table.

It can be done for sure, but it might need some strategy.

ETA:
Based on what other posters are saying, it looks like the wedding I went to is not the norm and that they just didn't do Family Style in the ideal way. Now I kind of want to go to one after all the nice posts about them.

missmo14 · January 2014

We are having our reception dinner family style. The only options at my venue were buffet or family style. I loathe buffets. Just my personal opinion, so we opted for the latter.

RebeccaB88 · January 2014

I think it would be OK as long as there was plenty of food and it was replenished quickly. Quickly as in immediately, no waiting 15 minutes with half the table with hot food and half with nothing. Personally, I'd still rather have a buffet. Passing bowls and platters around (especially with small children at the table) sounds just too messy and informal.

RebeccaB88 · January 2014

I think it would be OK as long as there was plenty of food and it was replenished quickly. Quickly as in immediately, no waiting 15 minutes with half the table with hot food and half with nothing. Personally, I'd still rather have a buffet. Passing bowls and platters around (especially with small children at the table) sounds just too messy and informal.

sarahsmiles326 · January 2014

I went to two work banquets where this was done. I didn't like it at all. If you're a passive/shy person, you're not going to get to eat very much. I ended up with the last chicken wing, the half a piece of bread, etc. & then had to wait for it to be refilled. I'd prefer a buffet. Also, if parents can't control their kids, its gets out of hand pretty quicky. I don't want to eat food anyone else has touched and put back. It happens.

lyndausvi · January 2014

If done properly I like family style, definitely over standard buffets. By done properly I mean, not a crowded table (referring to the amount of people and junk on the table), hot food, not super heavy plates and quick to replenish empty plates.

16maybeless · January 2014

I actually really like family style, as long as there is enough food and most importantly enough space on the table to place the food dishes. The only thing that could be annoying is serving any long pasta noodles that would require two utensils. There are more logistics to consider, but I think it could be fun for a small, close-knit wedding.

kirby400 · January 2014

I'm hoping to family style since I don't like buffet either. I prefer the family style since you're "breaking bread" together, building a family. It could help people start talking and also make the atmosphere less formal (which is what we're going for).

jessicabessica · January 2014

I have been to one family style wedding, and it worked really well. We were seated at long rectangular tables, but the centerpieces kind of divided the tables into two sections with 6 guests each, and each section got plates of food. Everything was replenished quickly by waitstaff, and there were many options (fish, stuffed pasta, side starch, and a veggie or two).

daria24 · January 2014

I've been to one family style reception and it worked well. As long as they replenish. It was also easy because I was sitting with me immediate family, so we know what each other likes, my dad knows to eat all the tomatoes on the salad because no one else will, etc. I've been to too many buffets where the food is congealed, the best items are picked clean, and the sauce is dripped everywhere. I would so much rather have family style.

NeverTooManyShoes · January 2014

My FI and I went to a wedding last year that was family style. We were a little worried at first but there was plenty of food and the wait staff were super efficient. There was a mix of vegetarian and meat dishes and no nuts or seafood so everyone was able to eat at least half of the dishes which was really good.

csuave · January 2014

I have been to two family style receptions and I liked them. The food was plentiful and delicious at both.

I went to one buffet wedding where a salad was done family style first at each table. This was nice because you still had something to eat while waiting for a turn at the buffet and you didn't have to worry about carrying salad back with you in addition to everything else. Similarly at a stations wedding the salad and soup courses were served (not family style) first and that paced people so everyone didn't get up at the same time to go to stations.

saacjw · January 2014

We had 130 people (I think exactly when all was said and done) and did a family style and it worked out really nicely. Everyone was able to eat at the same time, opposed to buffets where you have to wait in line or at the table. It's one of the things I hate most about buffets, I have no patience. We had no problems with food running out and anything that looked even remotely close was refilled almost immediately. Like anything, it depends on where you are and who's in charge. We also kept a good mix of food, taking into consideration that I have a number of vegetarian friends and people with allergies. I think we had three entrees (two meat, one veg) and two sides, plus salad and rolls.

Make sure your reception has the space on the tables, ours did and the woman who ran everything made sure to say to limit the number of people at a table for family style.

clg1213 · January 2014

I went to one FS wedding and really enjoyed it (mid-day meal, rented grounds of a historic home). I liked that I got the ability to choose without the lines. The staff was excellent at staying on top of things and made sure we got more of anything the table wanted (even well someone said we'd def need more of the meat way in advance of the actual need...felt awk to me to ask before it was clear people were going to finish the meat we had, but they didn't seem phased at all). I also liked that I was able to get seconds of some things without having to go back to the buffet just for another serving of asparagus! Ours will be stationed...there are several categories (all brunch) and FS wouldn't make sense. There are four egg dishes and it would end up with a lot of waste if you gave each table 2 full quiche, 1 strata, and 1 frittata.

What do you think of "Family Style" wedding meals?

Re: What do you think of "Family Style" wedding meals?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

What do you think of "Family Style" wedding meals?

Re: What do you think of &quot;Family Style&quot; wedding meals?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Re: What do you think of "Family Style" wedding meals?