People say the darndest things....

pinkcow13 · January 2014

So we have come across a lot of rude comments or horrible suggestions from people, I just thought I would share them.

1. A coworker asked me if my parents were paying for the wedding. I was so surprised at the bluntness of the question that rather than bean dipping her rude self I blurted out "Well, we are not expecting money from our parents. If our parents decide they would like to contribute it would be appreciated." To which she replied "Well, you are their only daughter and child, so of course they have to help you!" Umm okay end of THAT conversation.

2. Cousin asked me why we were having a big wedding, we should just have it at a restaurant, if she could do it over that's what she would do, people just come for the free food and booze and talk behind your back. Meanwhile I did not tell her what kind of wedding we were having, just that it would be in May 2015....

3. FMIL asked why in the world would we provide open bar and that we should have a cash bar or an open bar for a couple of hours, then cash bar. FI gave her a look and said "We are NOT doing a cash bar. That's tacky" To which she replied, "Well, you're already paying for people to eat." End of THAT conversation.

4. My parents said we should have a PPD. This was back in July before we were engaged, we told them we planned on getting married, and I opened my big mouth and told them the kind of wedding I envisioned. To which they suggested we just go to City Hall, then have the "real wedding" in a few years after we buy a home. Great advice guys!!!

5. Friend invited herself to our wedding and said if we couldn't give her an actual invite, then she could come as one of the groomsmen's dates, and she would be fine with that....

So those are my gems! Anyone else have any gems to share??

Edit: Spelling

smalfrie19 · January 2014

My aunt told me I was selfish for having a sweetheart table because "people spend all the money to be in your wedding and have diner with you" ...I will eat for MAYBE 5 minutes before I have to go and do table visits...so nooo... not really..thanks for playing.

melbelleup · January 2014

oh fun!! The worst I've had so far is my cousin thinking she'd be a BM. Though, she only said this to my SIL who told me about it. And my mom begging me to have my cousin's daughter as a flower girl. To which my dad and I both shot down.

JCbride2015 · January 2014

Ooooh, fun thread! I have a few.

1. Fi and his mom both want a dollar dance. Regardless of the tacky factor, their version includes stuffing the bills in the bride's dress and/or pinning onto the dress. Hell to the no.

2. FPILs keep telling us to invite certain extended family members that neither Fi nor I has ever met, because "They probably won't attend, but they'll send you a really nice check."

3. My dad said there isn't much point in getting married except for government benefits, and we shouldn't have children because the world is such a terrible place.

4. One of Fi's female college friends is jonesing hard to be a BM. She keeps asking to be "flower girl." Like, repeatedly. And she put the word out through a mutual friend she wants to be a BM. I barely hang out with this girl and she really rubs me the wrong way-- no, you will not be in the WP.

5. Fi wants to do the entire garter business: going under my dress, throwing it, having whoever catches the garter put it on whoever catches the bouquet. Again, hell to the no.

cupcait927 · January 2014

My BFF immediately asked me what color she'd be wearing right after I told her I was engaged (she did manage to squeak a congratulations in there first). I explained to her that FI and I had decided we were not going to have a bridal party and she couldn't seem to comprehend that and immediately stopped talking to me (I think bc I was her MOH, she assumed she was going to be mine - she seems to have gotten over it now). My sister also freaked out when I said I wasn't going to have a bridal party and said that I "couldn't have a lame wedding!" - this was told to me the same day I got engaged. Good to know, dear sister.

FMIL has also suggested all sorts of etiquette-fail ideas (like small ceremony now, big party later type suggestions) and FI and I have had to very sweetly decline them and bean dip her. She means well and I love her dearly but just, no.

climbingsingle · January 2014

Oh man. These are bad!

FI's step-sister invited herself to my bachelorette party. She is 15 years older than me. I've hung out with her 3 times. She yelled loudly at me, " I need booze and naked men!" I didn't have the heart to tell her that there is a ban on naked men (by my choice) at my bach party. My MOH has been warned :-P

NavyBlue143 · January 2014

My mother wanted us to have an engagement party that we registered for, a bridal shower where we invited lots of people who weren't invited to the wedding, and an at home reception for all the people who weren't invited (all of her friends and coworkers) because "it's all about the money and gifts!" Ugh....

MrsDeRuyter87 · January 2014

We are not having a wedding party. We are having witnesses but that's it. Fi's sisters went out and bought matching dresses at a bridal shop in our wedding "colors" and insisted they walk with Fi and his parents down the aisle.

JCbride2015 · January 2014

MrsDeRuyter87 said:

We are not having a wedding party. We are having witnesses but that's it. Fi's sisters went out and bought matching dresses at a bridal shop in our wedding "colors" and insisted they walk with Fi and his parents down the aisle.

pinkcow13 · January 2014

Wow great stuff ladies! Imagine if we one of us took all these suggestions and threw the ultimate wedding?? lmao

JCBride2014 ckel24 ClimbingBrideNY - I also cracked up at "I need booze and naked men!" lol

smalfrie19 · January 2014

MrsDeRuyter87 said:

We are not having a wedding party. We are having witnesses but that's it. Fi's sisters went out and bought matching dresses at a bridal shop in our wedding "colors" and insisted they walk with Fi and his parents down the aisle.

This would NOT fly with me... I would put my foot down with them walking down the aisle

cupcait927 · January 2014

MrsDeRuyter87 said:

We are not having a wedding party. We are having witnesses but that's it. Fi's sisters went out and bought matching dresses at a bridal shop in our wedding "colors" and insisted they walk with Fi and his parents down the aisle.

We're not having a wedding party either. Once all of this was made known to my closest friends, one of them suggested that I let the girls that would've been in the bridal party (if I had one) know my colors (I have to have colors?) and then they can all get dresses in similar colors (if they choose to) so that when they're in pictures, it'll look pseudo-wedding party like. I just shook my head at that because it sounds bizarre. I don't care what they wear, just that they are there to celebrate with me!

jdluvr06 · January 2014

After I told my great grandmother that FI was going to take my last name she said and I quote "I can't imagine ever getting married to a man when I didn't think enough of him to take his last name". I laughed and rolled my eyes at her. What can you do? She is 94 (well almost 94. Her bday is on Thurs) and set in her ways. Also my mom and various other relatives have said people will not know I'm the bride because I'm not wearing white. Lol. Edited for auto correct fail

climbingsingle · January 2014

ckel24 said:

MrsDeRuyter87 said:

We are not having a wedding party. We are having witnesses but that's it. Fi's sisters went out and bought matching dresses at a bridal shop in our wedding "colors" and insisted they walk with Fi and his parents down the aisle.

We're not having a wedding party either. Once all of this was made known to my closest friends, one of them suggested that I let the girls that would've been in the bridal party (if I had one) know my colors (I have to have colors?) and then they can all get dresses in similar colors (if they choose to) so that when they're in pictures, it'll look pseudo-wedding party like. I just shook my head at that party because it sounds bizarre. I don't care what they wear, just that they are there to celebrate with me!

I had a similar situation! We're not having a BP, just a MOH and a BM. When I told a close friend of mine, she also suggested gathering all my close friends and wearing the same color dress. I told her hellfuckno.

cupcait927 · January 2014

ClimbingBrideNY said:

ckel24 said:

MrsDeRuyter87 said:

We are not having a wedding party. We are having witnesses but that's it. Fi's sisters went out and bought matching dresses at a bridal shop in our wedding "colors" and insisted they walk with Fi and his parents down the aisle.

We're not having a wedding party either. Once all of this was made known to my closest friends, one of them suggested that I let the girls that would've been in the bridal party (if I had one) know my colors (I have to have colors?) and then they can all get dresses in similar colors (if they choose to) so that when they're in pictures, it'll look pseudo-wedding party like. I just shook my head at that party because it sounds bizarre. I don't care what they wear, just that they are there to celebrate with me!

I had a similar situation! We're not having a BP, just a MOH and a BM. When I told a close friend of mine, she also suggested gathering all my close friends and wearing the same color dress. I told her hellfuckno.

I just don't understand that line of thinking! If I wanted that "look", I'd have a bridal party! It's not that I don't love my friends dearly but if I had all the girls that I'm close with in the BP, then I'd have 10 people standing up there with me and that's too much for me. I'd rather them just come as guests and enjoy themselves. FI and I are having our sisters (we each have one) be our witnesses and that's it. I've been in a BP once and never again. I don't understand the hype of being in a bridal party. I'd be happy just to go as a guest and celebrate with the new couple!

MrsDeRuyter87 · January 2014

Yeah I informed my Fi he needed to contact his sisters and tell them to return their dresses out of blatant disrespect (the worst part is that they are the reason we aren't having a WP). As far as I know the youngest one was scared to find out her brother was mad at her and went back to the bridal shop and got a different dress.

Emmy1493 · January 2014

Well, this one is not too bad, but one of my BM's was asking about my wedding colors so I told her. The blue is a very light soft blue and goes by many different names at different places/websites. So I showed her the blue once, and then again at a different time. She was like "That's not at all the same blue...yada yada."

Then her mom called and asked about my colors and she replied in a snarky but jokingly tone, "I don't know she keeps changing the colors." No. No I do not...and if i DID that is my own damned business. Jeeze.

bmydesigner · January 2014

My mom told me that I should focus on inviting more of her work-friends / old family friends that I don't know instead of my friends because they will provide nice gifts. Ugh.

manateehugger · January 2014

FI's family, who joke around all the time, likes to jokingly tell me, "It's not too late to run you know!" Which was funny the first time and I rolled with it, but his brother and uncle keep saying it. I want to be like, "Uhh yeah, but I sort of like him, so no?"

FI's grandmother says yellow is an inappropriate wedding color and to have a rehearsal dinner at FI's parents' huge house (with deck and pool) is "hoosier."

jdluvr06 · January 2014

@PDKH what is FI's grandmother's reasoning behind thinking yellow isn't an appropriate wedding color?

pumpkinsandturkeys · January 2014

Ditto on being told who we should and shouldn't invite, including family members I haven't seen in over 10 years and FI's extended family who live halfway around the world. We were also told that we shouldn't invite our one friend's drunk/druggie gf but it would be sacrilege not to allow certain other people to have dates.

We had to keep explaining to people that we're only having 30 - 35 people, and they are all family or basically family. As unpopular of a decision as it is, we don't have to invite anyone we don't want to -- estranged extended family and weird-ass dates who probably won't be around 6 months from now included. Everyone who is coming are people we are ridiculously close to and love, and they all know each other. Done.

pinkcow13 · January 2014

@PDKH - I'm curious too about the yellow. We still have some time for the wedding but I know I can only imagine the people we will be told to invite and not to invite as the time gets near.

kaos16 · January 2014

A very close family member of DH informed us that we should only invite people who will give enough of a gift to cover their plate. I wanted to dropkick her in the throat. She mentioned it multiple times before the wedding. . . . don't invite so and so, they won't give enough of a gift. Have you though of inviting Mr and Mrs X, they have a lot of money and will certainly cover their plate.

After the wedding she was prying to find out exactly what everyone gave us, how big the checks were, the value of physical gifts. . . .just to complain if it wasn't enough in her opinion. I locked down that series of conversations very quickly, DH didn't see the issue with letting her know. . . .he does now, lol.

MrsDeRuyter87 · January 2014

kaos16 said:

A very close family member of DH informed us that we should only invite people who will give enough of a gift to cover their plate. I wanted to dropkick her in the throat. She mentioned it multiple times before the wedding. . . . don't invite so and so, they won't give enough of a gift. Have you though of inviting Mr and Mrs X, they have a lot of money and will certainly cover their plate.

After the wedding she was prying to find out exactly what everyone gave us, how big the checks were, the value of physical gifts. . . .just to complain if it wasn't enough in her opinion. I locked down that series of conversations very quickly, DH didn't see the issue with letting her know. . . .he does now, lol.

Wow that is awful. What a busy body!

firebabe6519 · January 2014

I have a few...

1) Stepmother insisting she won't attend our wedding unless we change the date to accommodate her.

2) My grandmother demands to do our wedding cake. Even though we will be serving pie since FI and I do not like cake. But according to her, it is a wedding and therefore must have cake! She will be baking and bringing one regardless of our wishes.

3) My parents brought a friend's son who had recently completed med school to our wedding planning brunch and as good as invited him to my wedding. Apparently the wedding isn't enough of a hint that FI and I will not be breaking up.

Sometimes you just have to wonder what people were thinking when they say or do things...

blabla89 · January 2014

Ugh, yikes.

Not sure if this counts but a month or so before my coworkers $30k wedding, I overheard her complaining about the $100 fee for a marriage license. Yup.

HisGirlFriday13 · January 2014

DH's grandmother told me, repeatedly, that she didn't like our flower choice. I finally said, "If you don't like it, I won't give you a corsage." That shut her up.

ElcaB · January 2014

Upon hearing of my engagement, a co-worker I've known for one year who I exchange pleasantries with at work, who has FIVE high-school age children, said, "We can't wait to be there!" She then continued to talk about how one of her daughters (who I had met twice at work functions) said she wanted to be a bridesmaid...and she was dead serious.

EverAfer · January 2014

1) Being told that we could elope like one of our friends who had an awesome inexpensive wedding. They "eloped", told everyone about it, gave everyone the info if they wanted to attend and after the ceremony, everyone took them out. I wanted to scream, that's not an elopement. It's a destination wedding in which your guests hosted you.

2) Being told about how excited the flower girls were...I had no plans for flower girls/ring bearers.

3) people just saying random stupid shit

4) People just offering unsolicited advice -no boxed gifts, you should make your money back, I want to see this at wedding, of course you must have flowers, what do you mean I can't bring my husband and 2 kids-aren't they special to you too?

manateehugger · January 2014

@pinkcow13 and @jdluvr06 I have no idea! Lol she said it was "garish." I don't know, I think she really just doesn't like our colors and was trying to convince me to change them. She's just really really particular and "always right."

She made FMIL miserable during FI's parents' wedding process. She offered FFIL money to leave FMIL at the altar on their wedding day.

pumpkinsandturkeys · January 2014

@PDKH Wow. I don't even know what to say. I can't imagine saying to my future kids, "Hey, completely humiliate the person you love more than anything because I'm not really a fan, k? K. Oh, and I'll give you some cash to do it."

People say the darndest things....

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