Same wedding venue as my friend

chalitajohnson · January 2014

My boyfriend and I are were engaged this past Christmas and would like to get married this summer. I really do not want to spend a lot of money on a wedding and would much rather put it towards a bigger home. I found a venue that does both the ceremony, reception and provides catering for the date that we what for under $1000. I did not realize that my best friend got married at the same place five years ago. Is it really a nono to do it at the same location? I went back and looked at pictures and the place looks completely different. Her wedding day was a blur to me because I had other things going on. I know it was important to her and I do not want to offend her.

OliveOilsMom · January 2014

chalitajohnson said:

My boyfriend and I are were engaged this past Christmas and would like to get married this summer. I really do not want to spend a lot of money on a wedding and would much rather put it towards a bigger home. I found a venue that does both the ceremony, reception and provides catering for the date that we what for under $1000. I did not realize that my best friend got married at the same place five years ago. Is it really a nono to do it at the same location? I went back and looked at pictures and the place looks completely different. Her wedding day was a blur to me because I had other things going on. I know it was important to her and I do not want to offend her.

It was 5 years ago! Go ahead and book your venue! Your friend should be flattered that you are using her venue. Besides, with your touches, your wedding will have a different feel to it than hers.

Also, he's not your BF anymore, he's your FI! Congrats!

Belthil · January 2014

It's perfectly fine for you to use a place that someone you know has used, the timeline doesn't matter. If it's what you want and fits your needs then book it.

Your friend shouldn't be offended by this at all. She doesn't own the rights to the location because she got married there.

indianaalum · January 2014

Totally fine. Go for it. Sounds like a great deal!

cruffino · January 2014

no problem at all. enjoy!

climbingsingle · January 2014

I don't understand why this is a problem. Book the venue.

Cookie Pusher · January 2014

You're totally fine! I'm getting married at the same venue as dear friends of mine (who are going to be the officiant and bagpiper for my wedding). I did ask them before I booked how their experience at the venue was to gauge their reaction and they all but begged me to book the same place if I was interested in it. They were totally flattered and were excited because they'll get to experience a wedding at their venue without the stress they had on their big day.

phira · January 2014

It's totally fine, even if your friend's wedding had been more recent. Venues don't belong to one happy couple unless they actually BELONG to the couple. I like to remind people that your wedding will be entirely your own, but a lot of the elements will not be unique. Usually, I say that about wedding dresses, but this time, it's about the venue.

KickAssMOH · January 2014

Personally, I think it's fine. HOWEVER, your friend might have a problem with it. I wanted to book my wedding at the same venue as my best friend. It was really the best bang for the buck in downtown Boston, and over two years had gone by since her wedding...not to mention we only had ONE overlapping guest. She said hell no. She listed off the reasons, the main one being "it's just a special place for us and we don't want to share it with anyone else. We go to the restaurant there for our anniversary every year....if it was your anniversary spot too, that would be just weird."

I respected her opinion and moved on from it, booking my wedding at a venue right accross the harbor. If it was me, I'd be totally flattered, and would love to help my best friend work through her plans in order to make her wedding the best it could possibly be.

JustNicki · January 2014

I think you're good to go.

PrettyGirlLost · January 2014

KickAssMOH said:

Personally, I think it's fine. HOWEVER, your friend might have a problem with it. Too fucking bad for her! If she doesn't own the place, she has no say in who books it. I guarantee many other weddings took place there since her wedding 5 years ago, sheesh. Are grown ass adults really this childish and are other people really expected to enable their childish behavior? I wanted to book my wedding at the same venue as my best friend. It was really the best bang for the buck in downtown Boston, and over two years had gone by since her wedding...not to mention we only had ONE overlapping guest. She said hell no. She listed off the reasons, the main one being "it's just a special place for us and we don't want to share it with anyone else. We go to the restaurant there for our anniversary every year....if it was your anniversary spot too, that would be just weird." To answer my question above, yes and yes I guess What a selfish, shitty friend and shame on you for going along with her bullshit! No other brides have ever gotten married in that venue since your friend's wedding, or before her? Of course they have! So her anniversary spot isn't just her spot. . . not to mention the number of people who probably choose to go to the restaurant annually to celebrate dating and other anniversaries.
I respected her opinion and moved on from it, booking my wedding at a venue right accross the harbor. If it was me, I'd be totally flattered, and would love to help my best friend work through her plans in order to make her wedding the best it could possibly be.

I hope that the venue you booked was actually nicer than "your friend's venue" (quoted in sarcasm because she doesn't own it), and that your wedding was a hell of a lot nicer than hers. What a brat!

KickAssMOH · January 2014

I totally agree, but sometimes it's just not worth the fight. This was my lifelong best friend, I was her MOH and she was one of my BMs. She felt so strongly about this that I saw it as a possible friendship ending move. Maybe I'm just old and lazy but I definitely pick my battles very carefully nowadays. And, of COURSE my wedding was better...because it didn't have a cash bar like hers

PrettyGirlLost · January 2014

KickAssMOH said:

I totally agree, but sometimes it's just not worth the fight. This was my lifelong best friend, I was her MOH and she was one of my BMs. She felt so strongly about this that I saw it as a possible friendship ending move. Maybe I'm just old and lazy but I definitely pick my battles very carefully nowadays. And, of COURSE my wedding was better...because it didn't have a cash bar like hers

dramamonkey · January 2014

Heck no. It was 5 years ago. Most people who attended both won't remember, and your friend may be an invaluable resource for "lessons learned" from her wedding. Plus in 5 years, a lot might have changed at the venue.

I have the same anniversary as one of my best friends- we were BMs in each other's weddings. They were exactly one year apart (granted, different venues). It's not how we planned it, it just worked out that way (limited dates, budget, etc). We had the same photographer too (I turned her on to the photographer), but totally different experiences.

You will make your wedding different from hers just by the fact that it is YOU and YOUR FIANCE'S wedding. Not her and her husbands.

HisGirlFriday13 · January 2014

I pick my battles, too, but saving money would absolutely be a battle I would fight for.

I gather this is a really good friend of yours, but I hope she's a better friend in other wways than just the snippet we got here, because she sounds like a first-class bitch.

Wow. Just...wow.

Maggie0829 · January 2014

@KickAssMOH -are you still friends with that girl? She sounds like a crazy bitch. It is special to her and her H? Hell I am sure that venue is special to the hundreds of other couples married there every year as well. She was horrible to tell you you could t have your wedding there. And what is worse is that you actually listened to her.

MuppetOverlord · January 2014

I wouldn't even be remotely concerned about what my friends think about me using the same venue. In fact, I used the same venue as one of my bridesmaids. She thought it was cool. If she didn't, I still would've had it there because it would've been a ridiculously petty thing for her to complain about.

dramamonkey · January 2014

KickAssMOH said:

Personally, I think it's fine. HOWEVER, your friend might have a problem with it. I wanted to book my wedding at the same venue as my best friend. It was really the best bang for the buck in downtown Boston, and over two years had gone by since her wedding...not to mention we only had ONE overlapping guest. She said hell no. She listed off the reasons, the main one being "it's just a special place for us and we don't want to share it with anyone else. We go to the restaurant there for our anniversary every year....if it was your anniversary spot too, that would be just weird."
I respected her opinion and moved on from it, booking my wedding at a venue right accross the harbor. If it was me, I'd be totally flattered, and would love to help my best friend work through her plans in order to make her wedding the best it could possibly be.

Stuck in box:
This is something to think about.
My dear friend who shares an anniversary with DH and I wasn't too thrilled about us getting married on the same date a year later. There were just a few "jokes" here and there. BUT she didn't outright mention her displeasure it to DH or I directly (I heard about it 2nd hand from my MOH).

kgd7357 · January 2014

My hometown only has three nice wedding venues nearby. If you got married at one and didn't have a friend that got married at the same place it would be unlikely. No need to worry, and people get over this kind of thing even if they are put off at first.

PrettyGirlLost · January 2014

dramamonkey said:

KickAssMOH said:

Personally, I think it's fine. HOWEVER, your friend might have a problem with it. I wanted to book my wedding at the same venue as my best friend. It was really the best bang for the buck in downtown Boston, and over two years had gone by since her wedding...not to mention we only had ONE overlapping guest. She said hell no. She listed off the reasons, the main one being "it's just a special place for us and we don't want to share it with anyone else. We go to the restaurant there for our anniversary every year....if it was your anniversary spot too, that would be just weird."
I respected her opinion and moved on from it, booking my wedding at a venue right accross the harbor. If it was me, I'd be totally flattered, and would love to help my best friend work through her plans in order to make her wedding the best it could possibly be.

Stuck in box:
This is something to think about.
My dear friend who shares an anniversary with DH and I wasn't too thrilled about us getting married on the same date a year later. Another case of the Too Fucking Bads. Admittedly, this is a little stickier than just having the same venue, BUT there are tens of thousands of people with the exact same wedding anniversary date. . . there are only 365 days in a year and only about 100 are a Friday or a Saturday. Look at how many people share the same wedding date on the TK month boards ;-) There were just a few "jokes" here and there. BUT she didn't outright mention her displeasure it to DH or I directly (I heard about it 2nd hand from my MOH).

melbelleup · January 2014

chalitajohnson said:

My boyfriend and I are were engaged this past Christmas and would like to get married this summer. I really do not want to spend a lot of money on a wedding and would much rather put it towards a bigger home. I found a venue that does both the ceremony, reception and provides catering for the date that we what for under $1000. I did not realize that my best friend got married at the same place five years ago. Is it really a nono to do it at the same location? I went back and looked at pictures and the place looks completely different. Her wedding day was a blur to me because I had other things going on. I know it was important to her and I do not want to offend her.

There's nothing that says you can't get married at the same place as a friend. Originally my brother and I were going to have our receptions at the same place, until I found out it was accidentally booked on my date and she misread the books. Our weddings are 3 weeks apart, but I ended up with a different place because of the date being booked.

phira · January 2014

@KickAssMOH I've gotta ask what the original venue was. We could NOT find anything in our price range in downtown Boston and I'd love to know what this place was! (Not that "best bang for your buck" means "inexpensive," but I'd still love to know!)

KickAssMOH · January 2014

Hyatt Harborside. It's got amazing views of downtown and is often overlooked due to its close proximity to the airport. Turns out, you can't hear or see the planes because they come and go from the other direction. They have a nice grassy area right on the water for outdoor ceremonies and the function room has a giant wall of windows with a view. I had planned a few work events there prior to reccomending it to my friend, and the food is amaaaaazing, as well as their onsite coordination. Also, getting married at a chain hotel comes with the perks of "event planner points". I ultimately picked a marriott property in downtown, and used my points for a free honeymoon to Paris/Italy. wootwoot!

phira · January 2014

@KickAssMOH Both sound pretty good! We looked at one hotel--Crowne Plaza in Newton. The main reason they're affordable is that the (beautiful) ballroom is over the Pike. We checked it out anyway and WOW could you hear every car that went under the building.

It's good to know that the Hyatt doesn't get airport noise. It's too late for us for our wedding venue, but it's never a bad idea to keep that in mind.

delujm0 · January 2014

If i was in this position, i would LOVE for one of my friends to use my venue after us - i've never been to a wedding there before, and i would really like to attend one as a guest!

I would also love some of my friends to use our vendors, because i love them all and would like to see more of their work! My BM who i mentioned earlier is using our baker for her cake, and i couldn't be happier - now i get to eat that cake TWICE in a two week period! I had no problem with her using the same vendor - our cakes will be completely different, and the few overlapping guests we'd have are pretty unlikely to recognize that different flavors of cake are from the same place. Plus, my cake design is loosely based on my dress, which looks nothing like hers, so i very seriously doubt that they will look anything alike.

syoun1nj · January 2014

I loved our venue so much I TELL people to look at it. We had a wonderful and stress-free experience which I think is great for brides. Plus I thought it was a steal for the DC area (using area loosely here, it is in the way far out VA burbs)!

misssunshine17 · January 2014

kgd7357 said:

My hometown only has three nice wedding venues nearby. If you got married at one and didn't have a friend that got married at the same place it would be unlikely. No need to worry, and people get over this kind of thing even if they are put off at first.

I'm in this boat, too. I raved about mine and told everyone to look at it. I tell people how great my vendors were all the time!

indianaalum · January 2014

delujm0 said:

If i was in this position, i would LOVE for one of my friends to use my venue after us - i've never been to a wedding there before, and i would really like to attend one as a guest!

I would also love some of my friends to use our vendors, because i love them all and would like to see more of their work! My BM who i mentioned earlier is using our baker for her cake, and i couldn't be happier - now i get to eat that cake TWICE in a two week period! I had no problem with her using the same vendor - our cakes will be completely different, and the few overlapping guests we'd have are pretty unlikely to recognize that different flavors of cake are from the same place. Plus, my cake design is loosely based on my dress, which looks nothing like hers, so i very seriously doubt that they will look anything alike.

I was thinking the same thing and realized "omg, what if I learned the food served to the guests was cold" or sometihng like that. I would forever worry if that was true for our guests! LMAO

tabathafaye · January 2014

I see no problem with it at all. Our wedding is the same venue as my fiance's brother, in the same year! They will be married there in May, and we will be in October.

Since they booked first, I did talk to them and made sure it would be ok.

NeverTooManyShoes · January 2014

I'd love for a friend to get married at the place our wedding will be. It would be lovely to go back to the venue of our special day to share a friend's special day. I would be happy that someone I care about loved my wedding venue as much as I do! ETA: whoops, that was a really long sentence!

rmccag · March 2014

If you're concerned mention it to her. But, I don't think most people would have a problem with it. When I started planning mine, my best friend/bridesmaid gave me all the pricing info she had on the place she got married and also recommended it to another friend of hers because she was so happy with the services there.

Same wedding venue as my friend

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