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Dress Anxiety

buddysmom80buddysmom80 member
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in Plus-Sized

Halp!

I always thought when I got engaged, I would be excited trying on dresses, looking at dresses, buying a dress, etc. Now that I'm in the actual planning stages, I'm DREADING shopping for a dress. I look at stuff online but I know nothing is going to look right on me. Usually when I do wear a dress, I wear black because it hides everything.

Did anyone else have this problem? FWIW I set up an appointment at a bridal salon in my state that caters to plus-size brides, and I scheduled it for a weeknight appointment so I'm not there during a time where there's tons of skinny minnies and myself. I'm going by myself too which could help me or not. I don't even know what looks good on me. I'm 6' tall, so I carry my weight everywhere.

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Re: Dress Anxiety

  • Ven&RadioVen&Radio member
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    It's perfectly normal to have dress anxiety!  I usually stick to dark colors in my everyday life and was pretty freaked out about wearing an ivory wedding dress.  You've already taken a great first step by finding a bridal shop that caters to plus sized women - so you know they'll have stuff you can try on that fits your body.  Have you looked through the sticky at the top of this page?  I see lots of beautiful happy brides in there of all different shapes and sizes -- it might help you to realize there are plenty of other women out there in your situation who were successful infinding their dress.  Good luck!
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  • buddysmom80buddysmom80 member
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    @ven&radio thanks! I'm glad to know I'm not alone and there are some GORGEOUS brides in that sticky! Hopefully I'll find the perfect dress on my first shopping trip!

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  • InkdancerInkdancer member
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    My mom was so anxious about her dress appointment that she almost walked out right in the middle. I had to make her stay and keep trying things. She ended up finding a dress that made her feel gorgeous, and I know you will too.

    Just remember this: your FI is marrying you as you are. Not as you might one day be, not as you used to be. You, right now, are perfect and beautiful to your FI, and that is all that matters.
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  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
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    buddysmom80 said:

    Halp!

    I always thought when I got engaged, I would be excited trying on dresses, looking at dresses, buying a dress, etc. Now that I'm in the actual planning stages, I'm DREADING shopping for a dress. I look at stuff online but I know nothing is going to look right on me. Usually when I do wear a dress, I wear black because it hides everything.

    Did anyone else have this problem? FWIW I set up an appointment at a bridal salon in my state that caters to plus-size brides, and I scheduled it for a weeknight appointment so I'm not there during a time where there's tons of skinny minnies and myself. I'm going by myself too which could help me or not. I don't even know what looks good on me. I'm 6' tall, so I carry my weight everywhere.

    Totally normal.  I dreaded the whole process.  I first went to a smaller boutique because it said they had plus sizes, but they only had a couple and I didn't like them.  Then I went to David's Bridal, but I thought everything looked awful.,...like I was wearing a nightgown.  I was getting very depressed with the whole process.  Then I found a store that had a large selection of plus size gowns and I found one that flattered me and I loved.  

    Don't let the process get you down.....there is a dress out there made for you!  If you're going to a store that caters to plus-size, I'm sure the consultants will be able to help you find something that flatters you.  Also, be open to trying on different things.  I always thought a dress with ruching would be best, but it turned out that looked horrible on me....it just added more bulk.   In the end, I found a dress that had material that came to a point with an applique at the smallest point of my waist.....it was a look that I found very flattering.  Here's a similar example of the waist I'm talking about.


    Good luck, and be sure to report back when you found your dress!
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  • buddysmom80buddysmom80 member
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    @joane2012 that dress is gorgeous!!!!! I'm hoping I can find something at this place, if not, my mom and I are going to go to RK Bridal on a weekday and see what they have. Last resort will be David's. I think the anxiety stems from the last time I was there for a BM dress and I felt so rushed and just kind of pushed aside since the bride was a size 2 and the other BM was a size 6 so it seemed "easy" for them to find a dress that looked good on the both of them. I totally could've spoke up, but I ended up going back on my own and ordering a dress from them that I saw online.

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  • silver0319silver0319 member
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    edited January 2014
    @buddysmom80, if RK is on your agenda, I would also suggest going to the store I bought my dress from. I purchased my dress at East West Bridals in Secaucus, NJ. I only tried on plus size dresses there and I think I tried on about a dozen. They carry the plus size lines of Bonny, Allure, and Mori Lee, and possibly others? I had a great experience, and an added bonus of shopping in NJ is that there's no sales tax on clothing.
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  • buddysmom80buddysmom80 member
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    @silver0319 thanks for the suggestion! I'll have to add them on my list!

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  • Dignity100Dignity100 member
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    I have started shopping for my dress - I'm still a little hesitant (not used to seeing myself in these style of dresses).  After you go to your first appointment, I think you'll feel better. 

    I've went to 3 stores so far - all but 1 I went alone (the one I went with somebody because I knew I would need help getting into dresses as they didn't have consultants).  I think going alone has been more helpful for me... but at the same time, I'm the most indecisive person in the world so it would be nice to have an honest opinion!


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  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
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    edited January 2014
    @buddysmom80 - That wasn't my dress, but the waist was similar and I LOVED it.  Mine was all satin, but had beading throughout (not a fan of the tulle).  

    You mention RK Bridals....assuming you are in NY/NJ area?  I got my dress at Park Ave Bridals in Verona, NJ.  They have a huge selection and a decent selection of plus sizes.....I traveled almost an hour after hearing about it on here on old threads.  At least go there before David's!  If you go, PM me and I'll tell you the consultant I worked with.  She had a knack for picking out great dresses and MY dress was the 2nd one she picked (and I only tried on 5). After my previous experiences at the other stores and getting down, I never dreamed I could walk out of a store so happy and in love with a dress.
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  • buddysmom80buddysmom80 member
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    @joane2012 I live in CT, but NJ isn't a far drive for me. I think my game plan right now is to try something local, if I can't find anything start heading out to NY/NJ area. The thing about CT that sucks is that if you spend over $1000 on an item of clothing you get hit with a higher sales tax (almost as high as Manhattan sales tax) so it would be my best interest to get the dress in NJ, I would just want to make a weekend out of it when the weather is nicer.

    Thanks so much! When we get closer to heading out to NJ I'll def PM you for the consultant's name!

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  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
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    Good luck!  Can't wait to hear about the amazing dress you find!
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  • pterodactylrockpterodactylrock member
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    not at all alone, I just about had a panic attack when I picked out a dress. Just give yourself plenty of time and only bring along the people you know will be loving and supportive.
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