Wedding Etiquette Forum

Open bar - someone still wants to bring a flask

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Re: Open bar - someone still wants to bring a flask

  • @syoun1nj, the venue actually doesn't allow drinks on the rocks because "it is the same thing". Yeah, the owner very obviously thought this through. I was impressed.
    So they don't serve any type of whiskey or vodka then?

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • @syoun1nj, the venue actually doesn't allow drinks on the rocks because "it is the same thing". Yeah, the owner very obviously thought this through. I was impressed.
    So they don't serve any type of whiskey or vodka then?
    Only if it is mixed with something.
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  • @syoun1nj, the venue actually doesn't allow drinks on the rocks because "it is the same thing". Yeah, the owner very obviously thought this through. I was impressed.
    So they don't serve any type of whiskey or vodka then?
    Only if it is mixed with something.
    Ew, you don't mix good Scotch and Bourbon!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • I just shed a tear for all the good Scotch they're ruining with this policy.
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    eyeroll
  • Inkdancer said:
    I just shed a tear for all the good Scotch they're ruining with this policy.
    I'm glad I am not the only one!!
    I was once told that scotch is like a man, if its under 18 don't f-ing touch it, and it is best enjoyed on its own.

  • I find policies like this a little stupid because people can get just as raging drunk off of beer and wine. Ever been in a frat house? Those poor bastards can't usually afford decent liquor yet they are smashed on cheap beer. . .I have never seen them playing Pong with 18 year old Maccallan, lol.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • Yeah, I'm raising my eyebrows a bit at that policy. I know my partner would be really irritated if he couldn't get a scotch neat at a wedding and had to mix it with something.
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  • I'm pretty laid back and just don't let stuff like this get to me.  More often than not people like her are just trying to get you all worked up and nervous but when the time comes they are all talk and no action.   Especially when mom, grandma and other older family are around.

    If she gets all smashed, so be it. My brother apparently did.  I didn't notice until the next when I saw how hung over he was.








    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • lyndausvi said:
    I'm pretty laid back and just don't let stuff like this get to me.  More often than not people like her are just trying to get you all worked up and nervous but when the time comes they are all talk and no action.   Especially when mom, grandma and other older family are around.

    If she gets all smashed, so be it. My brother apparently did.  I didn't notice until the next when I saw how hung over he was.


    Not only this, but a single flask is not going to destroy your wedding.  In fact, your sister probably won't even get caught with it unless she is totally obvious about it and or becomes absolutely shitfaced. . . which she probably will anyways based on what you have told us, regardless of whether or not she brings a flask.

    I am not necessarily condoning bringing the flask to your wedding, but speaking from experience as a bridal party member or as a guest of a ton of weddings, some of which guests or members of the bridal party may have been using flasks, no one ever got out of hand and thrown out, nor was their flask ever seen or confiscated.

    Craziest behavior I have seen at a wedding was FI's older brother's wedding and it occurred due to way too many overpriced Irish car bombs at the after party. . .

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • phira said:
    Yeah, I'm raising my eyebrows a bit at that policy. I know my partner would be really irritated if he couldn't get a scotch neat at a wedding and had to mix it with something.
    I'm marrying into an Irish family, all of the boys were boy scouts, and let's just say FI and his brothers are always prepared ;-)

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • lyndausvi said:
    I'm pretty laid back and just don't let stuff like this get to me.  More often than not people like her are just trying to get you all worked up and nervous but when the time comes they are all talk and no action.   Especially when mom, grandma and other older family are around.

    If she gets all smashed, so be it. My brother apparently did.  I didn't notice until the next when I saw how hung over he was.


    Not only this, but a single flask is not going to destroy your wedding.  In fact, your sister probably won't even get caught with it unless she is totally obvious about it and or becomes absolutely shitfaced. . . which she probably will anyways based on what you have told us, regardless of whether or not she brings a flask.

    I am not necessarily condoning bringing the flask to your wedding, but speaking from experience as a bridal party member or as a guest of a ton of weddings, some of which guests or members of the bridal party may have been using flasks, no one ever got out of hand and thrown out, nor was their flask ever seen or confiscated.

    Craziest behavior I have seen at a wedding was FI's older brother's wedding and it occurred due to way too many overpriced Irish car bombs at the after party. . .
    Craziest behavior I see are from people who don't get out much anymore but still think they can party like their old rock-star-selves.  They don't drink much and tolerance is down.   Pretty sure that is what happen to my brother.  He has 2 kids, wife, work, doesn't see us much, doesn't get out partying much.  Had the night free to let loose and boy did he ever.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • phira said:
    Yeah, I'm raising my eyebrows a bit at that policy. I know my partner would be really irritated if he couldn't get a scotch neat at a wedding and had to mix it with something.
    Hmm, well it's their policy and if I can have an open bar with food and hors d'oeuvre's at $50 per person I am really not going to complain about that. I am not breaking any etiquette rules and none of my guests will have to pull their wallets out. 
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  • phira said:
    Yeah, I'm raising my eyebrows a bit at that policy. I know my partner would be really irritated if he couldn't get a scotch neat at a wedding and had to mix it with something.
    Hmm, well it's their policy and if I can have an open bar with food and hors d'oeuvre's at $50 per person I am really not going to complain about that. I am not breaking any etiquette rules and none of my guests will have to pull their wallets out. 
    Yeah it is no reflection on you at all.  It's just a stupid policy, imo.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • phira said:
    Yeah, I'm raising my eyebrows a bit at that policy. I know my partner would be really irritated if he couldn't get a scotch neat at a wedding and had to mix it with something.
    Hmm, well it's their policy and if I can have an open bar with food and hors d'oeuvre's at $50 per person I am really not going to complain about that. I am not breaking any etiquette rules and none of my guests will have to pull their wallets out. 
    Oh, DEFINITELY not judging you for the policy. Our venue has very detailed and strict alcohol policies as well. We're not too psyched that my partner and his brothers can't bring and drink some beer before the ceremony, or that no one can bring flasks. We're thrilled to have the venue we have, and the pros greatly outweigh the cons.
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  • My mother in law brought beer into the venue despite the fact that we had an open bar because they didn't have "anything" she liked. I didn't know about it until the next day. It was fine.  
  • My mother in law brought beer into the venue despite the fact that we had an open bar because they didn't have "anything" she liked. I didn't know about it until the next day. It was fine.  
    Did your venue have anything in the contract that does not allow outside alcohol? I need to check my contract but I don't want to get in trouble if one of my guests decided to bring in outside alcohol and that practice is prohibited. The other thing is did your mother get "smashed?" That is how my sister sees weddings; as an opportunity to get smashed. It's significantly different from being discrete and sipping a beer.
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  • phira said:
    phira said:
    Yeah, I'm raising my eyebrows a bit at that policy. I know my partner would be really irritated if he couldn't get a scotch neat at a wedding and had to mix it with something.
    Hmm, well it's their policy and if I can have an open bar with food and hors d'oeuvre's at $50 per person I am really not going to complain about that. I am not breaking any etiquette rules and none of my guests will have to pull their wallets out. 
    Oh, DEFINITELY not judging you for the policy. Our venue has very detailed and strict alcohol policies as well. We're not too psyched that my partner and his brothers can't bring and drink some beer before the ceremony, or that no one can bring flasks. We're thrilled to have the venue we have, and the pros greatly outweigh the cons.
    Yeah, that is how I feel. The policy is a little weird but the pros most definitely outweigh the cons. Especially since that was the only con. They were willing to work within our budget, they make all foods from scratch, they do the setup and breakdown (so I don't have to do it myself or impose on anyone else), etc. So many positives :D
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