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buddysmom80 · January 2014

MischievousMonkey said:

Hello! I'm not sure I'm in the right place and hope I'm not offending anyone. There are several plus size people in my wedding and several attending. My question is mainly surrounding one particular guest. I've known her since kindergarten. She is not plus sized, but morbidly obese. I worry about her health constantly. My question though is this. She once came to my house and sat in a good, strong chair. It broke under her weight. It was just the two of us and she was pretty embarrassed. I put it aside and reassured her it wasn't a big deal. My question is this. Our venue has gold chiavari chairs. I'm worried they won't be able to hold her and if it doesn't that she'll be embarrassed. I'm concerned about her feelings. Plus--and this is the selfish side of me--I'm worried if the chair breaks we'll be charged for the chair. We've carefully considered our budget for this wedding, and didn't factor in the cost of a chair. Perhaps I'm worrying over nothing, but I did want to perhaps be able to avoid her embarrassment while at the same time avoiding any additional charge for a mishap. Anyone have any suggestions? I don't want to give her a special chair as that would embarrass her, too. I hope someone has a brilliant suggestion! Thanks for any help!

I find this really offensive. Wow.

hyechica81 · January 2014

omg wow you are really worried about the chair ??? breaking if she has been to weddings before she will know what works for her. very offensive i am plus size but i dont need a special chair

MischievousMonkey · January 2014

Sorry. Didn't mean to offend. I'll delete. That was not my intention. I apologize.

JoanE2012 · January 2014

MischievousMonkey said:

Sorry. Didn't mean to offend. I'll delete. That was not my intention. I apologize.

You can't delete posts. Putting "deleted" in the title draws more people to it! You were quoted, so it was pointless.

I, too, am shocked. What are you gonna do, send her a bill if the chair breaks?

Barbiiieee · January 2014

I did a google search and it seems like wood chiavari chairs have an 1100lb weight limit and plastic is 500lbs.

Also, I would think as long as the chair was damaged through normal use like say, your friend sitting on it, you probably won't be charged. It would be bad customer service and chairs are NOT that much. What would they do? Ask your friend to come back and weigh her to prove she exceeded the weight capacity? No. Ask the venue the weight limit (although I doubt your friend exceeds it), and I she for some reason DOES exceed it rent different chairs.

kmmssg · January 2014

This would have gone so much better if you hadn't mentioned the cost of the chair.

DH has a good friend who is morbidly obese. Seriously morbidly obese - well in excess of 500 pounds. He has broken furniture more than once, we feel terribly for him. I do think you truly care for your friend and you are trying to look out for her - I just think you also got a moment of bridal brain going on there over the cost of the chair.

If DH's friend were being invited to DD's wedding this Summer I would be wracking my brain to make sure he wasn't put in a position where he would be embarrassed. I can tell you that the chairs at our venue would NOT support him. I really don't know how I would solve that problem without bringing in a special chair which would embarrass him greatly.

I guess you could start with the venue and ask the coordinator if they have ever had this situation before. I know this sounds far out but I wouldn't trust any employee of the venue to know the true weight restrictions of the chairs. I would try to find out the manufacturer of the chair and I would call them. I know it sounds nuts, but my DH does that stuff all the time...oh yeah, he is a little bit nuts sometimes, but getting the information straight from the horse's mouth is your best start. Good luck.

MobKaz · January 2014

kmmssg said:

This would have gone so much better if you hadn't mentioned the cost of the chair.

DH has a good friend who is morbidly obese. Seriously morbidly obese - well in excess of 500 pounds. He has broken furniture more than once, we feel terribly for him. I do think you truly care for your friend and you are trying to look out for her - I just think you also got a moment of bridal brain going on there over the cost of the chair.

If DH's friend were being invited to DD's wedding this Summer I would be wracking my brain to make sure he wasn't put in a position where he would be embarrassed. I can tell you that the chairs at our venue would NOT support him. I really don't know how I would solve that problem without bringing in a special chair which would embarrass him greatly.

I guess you could start with the venue and ask the coordinator if they have ever had this situation before. I know this sounds far out but I wouldn't trust any employee of the venue to know the true weight restrictions of the chairs. I would try to find out the manufacturer of the chair and I would call them. I know it sounds nuts, but my DH does that stuff all the time...oh yeah, he is a little bit nuts sometimes, but getting the information straight from the horse's mouth is your best start. Good luck.

I agree. I think the OP had the concern of her friend at heart and phrased that concern poorly.

I had an uncle in a similar situation. He would fret and worry every time he sat down. He worried about embarrassing himself and worried about causing damage to the property of others. In homes of relatives, everyone found at least one piece of furniture that would just fondly be known as "Uncle Frank's chair". It was always discreetly placed wherever the main hub of activity would be that day.

Perhaps you could speak with your venue about discreetly placing a sound chair where you plan on having your friend seated. Perhaps they will know of a discreet way to provide additional support to their existing chairs. Let your friend know that a chair for her comfort has been set for her.

@MischievousMonkey, I am sure your friend considers this worry often. I cannot imagine having a medical condition of any kind that would make me literally feel dread when outside the comfort of my home. I think you meant well and were trying to be proactive on her behalf.

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