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Vent about my boss.

climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
in Chit Chat
He's so freaking frustrating sometimes, I have to fight the urge not to run out of here screaming. 

A little background: I've been here for about 6 years. I'm senior management and I report directly to the two owners. I work really hard. Most years, I don't even use all of my vacation time. FI thinks I'm a workaholic :-P I tend to disagree with that label. Anyway, I'm not out of the office very often. And even when I am, I'm constantly checking emails and am still working. 

I almost always try to schedule any appointments after work. I'm done at 4 most days, so it's easy. However, I had an appointment yesterday at 3. I couldn't schedule it for any later. It wasn't a big deal - it was a slow day and my assistant was here to cover. I told the owner in the morning that I had to leave early for an appointment. When I left at 2:45, I again stuck my head in his office and told him I had to leave for an appointment. He said, "Oh, ok. Is everything alright?' So I told him everything was fine - I just had an appointment that I had to get to a 3pm. 

When I came in this morning (30 minutes before I actually have to be here), the owner calls me into his office. 
Him: Is everything OK?
Me, confused: Yes. Why?
Him: Well, you had to leave early yesterday. 
Me: Oh. Yes, it was just an appointment I had to get to. 
Him: Is everything OK?

Seriously, what the fuck did he want me to say? "Yes, my gynecologist said everything looks great! Ovaries are right where they should be. No lumps in my tits!" Gah. He's done this shit before and it drives me up the god damn wall. That's ridiculous, right? It's not just me, right?
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Re: Vent about my boss.

  • tmclawchicktmclawchick member
    Fifth Anniversary 250 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    ClimbingBrideNY said:

     
    Seriously, what the fuck did he want me to say? "Yes, my gynecologist said everything looks great! Ovaries are right where they should be. No lumps in my tits!" Gah. He's done this shit before and it drives me up the god damn wall. That's ridiculous, right? It's not just me, right?


    /dead/

    I feel like he's probably doing it out of genuine concern, and just not realizing how irritating it is. I highly recommend you say the bolded next time lol

     

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  • hikebikebemerryhikebikebemerry member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    He many not want to be that really insensitive boss that seems like they just don't care; he could be thinking, "I have this awesome, super loyal employee who never leaves early; I hope that she's ok!".

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  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    stupid avatars - I must have you confused withe the other climbing-somebody bc I could have sworn you were a pastry chef or bakery.

    Sorry your boss sucks…whoever you are :-)
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    photokitty said:
    stupid avatars - I must have you confused withe the other climbing-somebody bc I could have sworn you were a pastry chef or bakery.

    Sorry your boss sucks…whoever you are :-)
    It's me!! I work at a pastry manufacturer :-) I work in the office though, not the factory. 
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  • smalfrie19smalfrie19 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I think he is just worried for you. Its "irregular" behavior in his eyes I think. Just take it in the perception he cares. Its a little weird, but if he keeps asking I would just say yeah it was just a routine appointment.
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I want to believe he's genuinely concerned. But I've worked for him for 6 years. I don't feel it's concern. He micromanages me constantly. I feel it's more, "I'm nosy, tell me what's going on." 
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  • JennyColadaJennyColada member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    As a manager myself, I've learned to ask as few questions as possible. It's none of my business what you do outside of work. I understand that he may have a concern, but one "is everything ok" is all he needs.

    Generally I even try to stop people when they give me lengthy answers. I just don't want them to feel pressured into telling me things that are inappropriate for me to know as their boss.
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  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    ClimbingBrideNY said:
    photokitty said:
    stupid avatars - I must have you confused withe the other climbing-somebody bc I could have sworn you were a pastry chef or bakery.

    Sorry your boss sucks…whoever you are :-)
    It's me!! I work at a pastry manufacturer :-) I work in the office though, not the factory. 
    Thank God, I haven't gone crazy…yet…today ;)
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Jennycolada said:
    As a manager myself, I've learned to ask as few questions as possible. It's none of my business what you do outside of work. I understand that he may have a concern, but one "is everything ok" is all he needs. Generally I even try to stop people when they give me lengthy answers. I just don't want them to feel pressured into telling me things that are inappropriate for me to know as their boss.
    Exactly. That's the way I treat my employees too. I have 4 people that report to me. If they need to take off or leave early, no questions asked. I don't need an explanation. 
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
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    Jennja22 said:
    hikebikebemerry said:
    ClimbingBrideNY said:
    I want to believe he's genuinely concerned. But I've worked for him for 6 years. I don't feel it's concern. He micromanages me constantly. I feel it's more, "I'm nosy, tell me what's going on." 
    I vote that you DO share. EVERYTHING.

    Boss: "Are you *sure* you're ok?"
    You: "Well, still have a few days to hear about the pap smear.  My gyno's hands were a little too cold for my liking, so that was uncomfortable. Apparently my cervix is right where it's supposed to be.  These really heavy periods I have been having are apparently totally normal.  How was your last trip to the gynecologist?"

    I think that would shut him up.
    YES.. do this!!!  And then add "He wants me to get a 2nd opinion on this weird mole, do you mind taking a look at it?  It isn't oozing as much puss anymore, so that's good."
    LMAO!!! 
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  • princessleia22princessleia22 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer

    My boss started questioning that I have been having some "appointments" every 6-8 weeks lately.  He wasn't upset about me leaving a bit early at all (I have very flexible schedule), just curious and concerned that everything is okay. At first I just said it was routine doctor appointment.  After more questioning I finally told him that I was getting laser hair removal so I don't need to shave my legs or underarms anymore (at least I left out mention of bikini area)... he looked a bit uncomfortable and I think it was more info than he expected or wanted, but he certainly doesn't ask questions anymore about where I'm going...ever. I can understand the concern since it was pretty regular, though, and it could mean that there was something more serious going on.  But, if there is something serious, I would let him know.

    But, with leaving early 1 time for a doctor appointment he shouldn't be questioning that much.  I would just tell him it was routine physical and leave it at that.  Unless he asks again... then give him the full run down that will ensure he never asks any questions again.

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  • Chipmunk415Chipmunk415 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    FWIW- If you tell him "I'm fine, it's just a medical appointment," and he keeps pushing, he is technically violating workforce privacy laws and probably a slew of HR policies. If he keeps trying to find out, that could be a technical (though minor) violation of HIPAA. Perhaps remind him of that with a smile and say "Now I don't want to get you in trouble, so we won't talk about it anymore!" That way, he shuts up and you're acting like his "buddy".
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Chipmunk415 said:
    FWIW- If you tell him "I'm fine, it's just a medical appointment," and he keeps pushing, he is technically violating workforce privacy laws and probably a slew of HR policies. If he keeps trying to find out, that could be a technical (though minor) violation of HIPAA. Perhaps remind him of that with a smile and say "Now I don't want to get you in trouble, so we won't talk about it anymore!" That way, he shuts up and you're acting like his "buddy".
    Good point! I assumed that pressing me about a doctor's appointment goes against privacy/HR policies. He has the tendency to by pretty inappropriate. 
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