NER: Wildest Thing Witnessed at a Wedding?

KatWAG · January 2014

Went to a wedding that had a 4 hour gap. H was a groomsmen and I was invited along for everything, which was really nice. So I got to witness all this.

They got married at 1pm, then it took us an hour to travel to the reception. We got to the Country Club around 3pm. It was really hot and we were all sitting outside enjoying a couple cocktails waiting for the real cocktail hour to start. Well, one BM got a little carried awaywith the heat, lack of food and drinks. She was almost blacked out by 5pm when the real cocktail hour started. She was so drunk she put a gaint hole in her floor length gown. She then stuck her hand threw the hole to hold her dress up. Before the wedding was set to be introduced she was slumped in a chair with her head between her legs. When the WP was introduced, H had to basically drag her into the dining room, she also fell backwards into another GM, almost knocking him over.

She obviously was in no shape to eat her dinner. She sat there are complained about how bad the food at the rehearsal dinner was and that was why she couldnt eat. Her parents stopped by the head table (which she was seated at) and told us that we better take care of her. Umm, no.

Ultimately her parents had to take her home before dinner was over since she passed out at the table and then started vomitting on her way out.

Somehow, the Bride and her are still friends.

tigersgirlgv · January 2014

While not as wild as some of these stories, at my sister's wedding people started taking the decorative sashes tied around the chair covers off and wearing them: scarves, sashes, belts. One lady had about ten on at once. It was weird. Plus we were worried that people were going to wear them home and my parents would have to pay for them! Luckily that didn't happen

erinlin25 · January 2014

OMG-- my friend got married about 4 years ago and it was a beautiful ceremony, lovely cocktail hour and reception. Then it is time for the toasts, which the MOH, BM and FOB did great... then crazy drunk aunt of the groom decides she wants to "give a toast/aka speech." No joke it lasted a good 20+ minutes and at one point she mentioned grooms ex girlfriend who the family all wished he would have married... then she debriefed us on the graphic memory of her witnessing groom being born... and at one point (bride and her now MIL have the same name) there was a comment made how "sex must be awkward when you are calling out your mother's name"... yes, no joke, this all happened + many other inappropriate comments. and nobody knew how to stop it. The bride cried in the bathroom after that, and the FOB was PISSED. Lets just say those in laws do not get along well, and the bride refuses to go to any family events with that aunt in attendance.

Chipmunk415 · January 2014

This all happened at the same wedding- my brother's. I swear I am not making this up.

We were introduced to my SIL's boss (the owner) and two coworkers. SIL's restaurant (she's their wedding and event coordinator) provided all the food and drink at cost as their gift to her. Boss is a very very nice, very out gentleman, complimenting my attire and taste in men :-). We will call him James. At the end of the evening, Brother had arranged for buses to take everyone from venue back to downtown Chicago, right in front of the hotels with room blocks, so we wouldn't have to worry about a cab, etc. James gets on the bus, two glasses in one hand, an open bottle of champagne in the other, with an unopened bottle under his arm, literally sashaying up the aisle and shouting "I'VE GOT THE BUBBLAAAAYY!" Funniest. entrance. ever. Bus driver lets James know he left a bottle on the sidewalk outside. James tells driver to keep the bottle for himself after his shift.

James' date did try to hit on my FI, but stopped when he realized he was hitting on the Groom's future brother in law.

This last one may sound snarky, but, it has to be told...

Brother caved and invited his landlady at our Dad's insistence. See, landlady is also a high school acquaintance of my Dad's (they also briefly dated in high school). Landlady, for lack of a better term, is BSC. To get an idea of her BSC level- Her husband, a nice, quiet hippie, needed a kidney transplant several years ago due to diabetes. SHE TURNED DOWN THE KIDNEY AND PANCREAS on his first match, under the delusion that the doctors might not have tested it properly for diseases. Anyways, she and hubs appear at the wedding. Mind you, this is a cocktail/evening attire, no holds barred, Chicago wedding. Hubs is in a tan suit and tie. Fine. BSC landlady shows up in a shapeless, threadbare dress in a shade that can only be described as poop brown. Over the dress, she has on this wine colored cardigan, with leopard print edging on the wrists, collar, and edges down the front and at the bottom. Neither look like they've been washed in 3 years. This woman is almost 70, and looks about 80. Her hair color matches the cardigan, and clashes wonderfully with the bright blue eyeshadow she's wearing. She is wearing boater shoes, the ones popular in recent years with fraternities and sororities, though hers are very ratty. To crown the look, she's wearing a floppy, light colored straw hat, with a black ribbon and a broach on it with a fleur de lis and "il de France" embroidered on it. She looked, sadly, like a bag lady. This woman has plenty of appropriate attire, including items she wore to her daughter's wedding and other events (and it all fits, her size hasn't changed in 20 years). She proceeds to bug me all evening about coming down for my wedding (NOT HAPPENING) and then goes apeshit when she can't remember where she set down her purse, sending the coordinator scrambling to find it. FI didn't believe all the stories my Dad and I have about this woman, until he met her at Brother's wedding. NOW HE BELIEVES.

NER: Wildest Thing Witnessed at a Wedding?

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