Ceremony while guests seated at tables

kmmssg · January 2014

Has anyone attended a wedding where the guests were seated at the tables they would be at for the reception? Did you see/experience any problems with it?

DD's wedding and reception will happen in the same room. It is the club house of a country club. When you step out of that room, you are outside. There is no way to have the wedding, leave the area for a cocktail hour and then come back to a flipped room.

I would love to hear any feedback you have if you have attended a wedding where you sat at tables used for the reception. I am a logistics freak (all those years as a Supply Sergeant make me scrutinize everything). One of the things I keep thinking about is that some of the chairs will not be facing the couple for the ceremony. Should we flip them around prior to people arriving so they will be in the proper direction or let people do that themselves. I'm thinking we should have them already flipped so that people don't realize "Oh! the wedding is starting and I'm facing the wrong direction."

A few things to know:

Renting a tent so the ceremony can be outside is NOT a possibility.

There is no other venue for the wedding by itself. DD's ex decided over the last year that he didn't feel it was necessary to pay child support so that took a huge tole on any extra financial resources she had. On top of that, she got laid off with 4 other people from her job in NOV. No one saw that coming. The separate wedding venue was on her side of the budget list. I have increased my budget to help with some of the the other things on the list, but a separate wedding venue just isn't going to happen.

This country club is the kind of place where you rent the building, they have the tables and chairs in place for you, you bring in your own caterer, your own bartender, your own alcohol, your own worker bees. Fortunately my SIL is the varsity cheerleading coach at the HS where she teaches and I have (in the past) hired some of her cheerleaders to be my worker bees. The money goes directly into their cheerleading camp fund. The caterer handles all the food issues, but we are responsible for setup/teardown

Suggestions/ideas/feedback? I would be especially interested to hear if you attended a wedding like this as a guest and what your feedback is from that perspective. Thanks!

daria24 · January 2014

I attended a wedding in October that was set up this way. It was fine. Would it be my preference? No. The two things that I didn't like about it were:

1. It was very difficult to hear, because you are much further from the "altar"

2. It felt more like watching 'dinner theater' vs being "in the moment" at a ceremony.

That being said, given your limited options it will be fine. The chairs were set up normally around the tables, when the officiant took his place everyone adjusted so that they could see. Again, if there was an option to have a separate ceremony set up, that would be my preference, but in a pinch it will do to have people sit at their table.

AddieCake · January 2014

One of my cousins had to do this because of rain. I thought it was very cozy and kind of liked it. It was a small wedding, though.

misssunshine17 · January 2014

How many people at the wedding? Is there any way to have guests seated in chairs ceremony style on the dance floor?

The only wedding I attended this way, I was in the wedding, so I'm not much help.

Gizmo813 · January 2014

Friends of mine got married in a setting like this. I didn't have a problem with it. Some people moved their chairs so they could see better, but everything could be heard. (I think the DJ gave the officiant a microphone, though....but large churches may have sound systems too, so this is no different).

The most important thing is that friends and family share the moment with your daughter. So long as everybody has a chair, it shouldn't matter whether that chair is around a table or in a straight row.

YourDogDontKnowSit · January 2014

My sister ended up doing this at her wedding, not by choice but because there was a tropical storm coming through and the ceremony was meant to be outside. Like PPs have said, it wouldn't be my first choice, but her wedding was still beautiful and it worked out fine. She had 200+ guests.

What she did, and what I would recommend, was to have the chairs set normally around the tables. Some people will likely turn their chairs when the ceremony starts but adult guests should know better than to make a scene about it. Personally, I don't think it would look right, as a guest, to come into the reception room for the first time with all of the chairs out of whack.

YourDogDontKnowSit · January 2014

Oh, also she did have one row of chairs up front (like a typical aisle, five chairs or so on each side) for immediate family - parents, grandparents, etc. It gave more of an aisle feel and looked good for pictures.

photokitty · January 2014

I had a venue situation similar to yours. Here's what did...
All the tables were set and placed at the back of the room, then hung pipe and drape to hide them and set the chairs in aisle seating. After the ceremony everyone was asked to go outside for a large group photo. During that time the venue staff reset the room ~ moving tables and chairs since everything else was set. They said they needed a minimum of 10 minutes, but 15 to 20 was ideal. The group photo easily took 15 minutes to get everyone else there, get the photographer said, and smiles for a few normal and fun photos. Send everyone went back inside and started cocktail hour. I'd check and see if your venue can do something like this.

BMoreBride6 · January 2014

I think the amount of people makes a bit difference. For example, if we had down this at my wedding, some people wouldn't have seen a thing. But honestly, if it is all you have to work with, then it will work, and it will be wonderful regardless. Is it ideal? No...but sounds like you guys are bending wherever you can. Wishing the best!

kmmssg · January 2014

Thank you all for your feedback.

@photokitty - I wish we could do as you did but their is no staff to flip the room while everyone goes outside for a photo. I also worry that it could be raining and then there would be nowhere for our guests to go. I do love your idea though and wish we could do something like that. DD would love it.

I will ask the kids if they like the idea of having a row of chairs up front for parent's/gparents. I kind of like that idea!

Thanks again.

pinkshorts27 · January 2014

I've been to a wedding like that and it was fine.

wrigleyville · January 2014

I've been to a wedding like that. I really liked it. As @daria24 said, it can feel a bit like dinner theatre, but I liked that aspect.

The only thing I might suggest is that you keep the hors d'ouevres and such stashed until after the ceremony, if possible. They had everything set up for cocktail hour already, and some guests weren't sure if they could eat yet. Eventually, some people got plates, and then there was a lot of "eating" noise during the ceremony. It wasn't obnoxious, just forks on plates and normal noises like that, but it was fairly distracting.

kmmssg · January 2014

wrigleyville said:

I've been to a wedding like that. I really liked it. As @daria24 said, it can feel a bit like dinner theatre, but I liked that aspect.

The only thing I might suggest is that you keep the hors d'ouevres and such stashed until after the ceremony, if possible. They had everything set up for cocktail hour already, and some guests weren't sure if they could eat yet. Eventually, some people got plates, and then there was a lot of "eating" noise during the ceremony. It wasn't obnoxious, just forks on plates and normal noises like that, but it was fairly distracting.

Thanks. Those are the logistical things I am trying to make sure I cover.

phira · January 2014

I wouldn't have a problem with it at all, so long as I could hear the ceremony just fine.

Look, it's better than NOT having seats for everyone and then also NOT being able to hear the ceremony at all, which happened at a wedding I went to.

kmmssg · January 2014

phira said:

I wouldn't have a problem with it at all, so long as I could hear the ceremony just fine.

Look, it's better than NOT having seats for everyone and then also NOT being able to hear the ceremony at all, which happened at a wedding I went to.

Oh having a chair for every but is one of the Golden Commandments in our family is you want help paying for your wedding. Strangely enough, none of our girls would even DREAM of not having enough seating and comfortable space (and open bar) for their guests!

We have a very good DJ so I will be talking to him about whether or not he can assist with a sound system for the wedding. If not, we will add it to the rental list.

fionahalliwell · January 2014

My parents went to a wedding like this (same wedding where B & G included an insert asking for cash!), but there were, like, 700 people. Not exaggerating. It's a huge ballroom and kind of famous.

Their complaint was sound. Everyone had a chair, but they could barely hear what was going on, and a lot of it was in a foreign language. The smaller the guest list, the easier this is. Talk to the DJ about it and he'll probably have some ideas. My dad also does sound stuff, so if your DJ is lost, feel free to PM me and I'll put you in touch with him.

They also felt that some people didn't completely "get" that a wedding was going on and were too busy socializing, but I really think that was a by-product of having 700+ people who couldn't really hear what was going on.

kmmssg · January 2014

@fionahalliwell - thank you!

312Emily · January 2014

Perhaps you could have the "altar" area at the center of the room so it's not so far for some guests? I feel like that would make it unique and like you meant for it to happen that way.

Inkdancer · January 2014

emilyellyse said:

Perhaps you could have the "altar" area at the center of the room so it's not so far for some guests? I feel like that would make it unique and like you meant for it to happen that way.

I was about to suggest exactly this! My first wedding venue choice was a castle great hall, and they do a lot of weddings with long tables around the edges of the room, and then the B&G do their ceremony in the middle. However, this room only holds 80 people max.

lc07 · January 2014

YourDogDontKnowSit said:

Oh, also she did have one row of chairs up front (like a typical aisle, five chairs or so on each side) for immediate family - parents, grandparents, etc. It gave more of an aisle feel and looked good for pictures.

I wouldn't like this as a guest. I would feel very second-class if the seating was so different for guests than it was for VIPs. And as a PP mentioned this would make it feel like dinner theater to me. Having VIPs at tables closer to the "altar" is better form, in my opinion.

OP, I would suggest not turning the chairs. My cousin was married in a setup like this and the chairs were set normally. Which was good because as people arrived and took their seats they chatted with the other people at their table before the ceremony began. Some of us were 20 minutes or 30 minutes early. It would have been awkward to sit and chat with the chairs set facing the "altar".

There were no logistical problems from what I could tell at my cousins wedding. I'm sorry planning has not gone to plan but I applaud you and your family for cutting back on a separate venue for the ceremony when it isn't necessary instead of cutting back on something that truly affects your guests' comfort.

The wedding will be great, I'm sure! I wish you all the best.

kmmssg · January 2014

emilyellyse said:

Perhaps you could have the "altar" area at the center of the room so it's not so far for some guests? I feel like that would make it unique and like you meant for it to happen that way.

I was actually rolling this idea around in my head!

kmmssg · January 2014

lc07 said:

YourDogDontKnowSit said:

Oh, also she did have one row of chairs up front (like a typical aisle, five chairs or so on each side) for immediate family - parents, grandparents, etc. It gave more of an aisle feel and looked good for pictures.
I wouldn't like this as a guest. I would feel very second-class if the seating was so different for guests than it was for VIPs. And as a PP mentioned this would make it feel like dinner theater to me. Having VIPs at tables closer to the "altar" is better form, in my opinion.

OP, I would suggest not turning the chairs. My cousin was married in a setup like this and the chairs were set normally. Which was good because as people arrived and took their seats they chatted with the other people at their table before the ceremony began. Some of us were 20 minutes or 30 minutes early. It would have been awkward to sit and chat with the chairs set facing the "altar".

There were no logistical problems from what I could tell at my cousins wedding. I'm sorry planning has not gone to plan but I applaud you and your family for cutting back on a separate venue for the ceremony when it isn't necessary instead of cutting back on something that truly affects your guests' comfort.

The wedding will be great, I'm sure! I wish you all the best.

@lc07 thanks! Our guests comfort is NEVER EVER negotiable! I agree with not turning the chairs. I haven't attended a wedding like this before and the logistics roll around a lot in my mind a lot. We have a highly experienced and well regarded wedding planner and I am sure she has dealt with before. She was amazing for my last DD's wedding. Again Ladies - thanks for the feedback!

indianaalum · January 2014

I went to one and I liked being at my seat so I could relax but I could not see the ceremony at all from my seat. not even remotely

Jen4948 · January 2014

kmmssg said:

emilyellyse said:

Perhaps you could have the "altar" area at the center of the room so it's not so far for some guests? I feel like that would make it unique and like you meant for it to happen that way.

I was actually rolling this idea around in my head!

I like this idea. If there will be a dance floor, the ceremony can take place on the dance floor.

lc07 · January 2014

Jen4948 said:

kmmssg said:

emilyellyse said:

Perhaps you could have the "altar" area at the center of the room so it's not so far for some guests? I feel like that would make it unique and like you meant for it to happen that way.

I was actually rolling this idea around in my head!

I like this idea. If there will be a dance floor, the ceremony can take place on the dance floor.

But then wouldn't some of the guests be seated at a horrible angle, like seeing the back of the officiant and no view of the bride and groom?

Jen4948 · January 2014

lc07 said:

Jen4948 said:

kmmssg said:

emilyellyse said:

Perhaps you could have the "altar" area at the center of the room so it's not so far for some guests? I feel like that would make it unique and like you meant for it to happen that way.

I was actually rolling this idea around in my head!

I like this idea. If there will be a dance floor, the ceremony can take place on the dance floor.

But then wouldn't some of the guests be seated at a horrible angle, like seeing the back of the officiant and no view of the bride and groom?

That would be the case if the ceremony is in the middle of the room, too. But they would have a view of the couple.

I think that ultimately, there will be someone who can't be seen well by someone. Even in a traditional setting, that's often the case.

tammym1001 · January 2014

We are doing our wedding like this. It was our back up plan as well since our original plan fell through. We are only have about 35 people at our wedding though so I'm not anticipating any problems with people not being able to hear or see. I'm going to have it set up where the aisle will go down through the center of the tables and then the ceremony will be at the front center of the tables so hopefully everyone can see.

lc07 · January 2014

lc07 said:

Jen4948 said:

kmmssg said:

emilyellyse said:

Perhaps you could have the "altar" area at the center of the room so it's not so far for some guests? I feel like that would make it unique and like you meant for it to happen that way.

I was actually rolling this idea around in my head!

I like this idea. If there will be a dance floor, the ceremony can take place on the dance floor.

But then wouldn't some of the guests be seated at a horrible angle, like seeing the back of the officiant and no view of the bride and groom?

That would be the case if the ceremony is in the middle of the room, too. But they would have a view of the couple.

I think that ultimately, there will be someone who can't be seen well by someone. Even in a traditional setting, that's often the case.

****stuck in the box***

I was referring to a ceremony on the dance floor in the middle of the reception. And many guests would have very bad views from there. When my cousin had her ceremony inside the reception room, the "altar" was against a wall and the tables were lined up in the space that a normal chair set up would occupy, only a larger area because the tables were a part of it.

In a traditional setting no one is ever seated behind the "altar". Nor are they seated directly to the side with a direct view of the back of the groomsmen's head. Also, in a traditional setup if you arrive at a reasonable time before the ceremony you can choose where you sit with the exception of the first few rows which may be reserved. The difference in this case is that the OP would be assigning people ceremony locations. And if the ceremony takes place in the center of the room, this puts the OP in a bad position of assigning her guests to pretty "bad" tables for viewing the ceremony.

FurtureMrsWhitehead · January 2014

Is it possible to divide the room w drapes or something so that you'll be able to close of one part and then tie it open for the reception?

kmmssg · January 2014

FurtureMrsWhitehead said:

Is it possible to divide the room w drapes or something so that you'll be able to close of one part and then tie it open for the reception?

No, unfortunately not, but thank you for the suggestion.

ashleyep · January 2014

lc07 said:

YourDogDontKnowSit said:

Oh, also she did have one row of chairs up front (like a typical aisle, five chairs or so on each side) for immediate family - parents, grandparents, etc. It gave more of an aisle feel and looked good for pictures.

I wouldn't like this as a guest. I would feel very second-class if the seating was so different for guests than it was for VIPs. And as a PP mentioned this would make it feel like dinner theater to me. Having VIPs at tables closer to the "altar" is better form, in my opinion.

A lot of weddings reserve the front row or two for parents and grandparents anyway. I don't think it's that big of a deal in this case either - especially if they're walking down the aisle. As long as you keep your VIPs limited, I think it's okay. You might have to do this if your ceremony isn't going to be where your head table would be. You'll want your parents right up front, and their table might not be depending on the room arrangement.

Ceremony while guests seated at tables

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