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Did not attend wedding but sent a gift.....should I have received a thank you card?

ValigoreValigore member
Third Anniversary First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I was unable to attend a wedding but I did send a gift of $50, which I think is a pretty good gift for not attending. It's been three months and I have not received a thank you card. I feel like I got a slap in the face and that my gift wasn't appreciated. What is etiquette or morally right? Am I overreacting, should I not be expecting anything? And do I say something or just let it go? -Stephany
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Re: Did not attend wedding but sent a gift.....should I have received a thank you card?

  • misshart00misshart00 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    You have every right to expect a thank you note. But you can't really ask about it without being rude yourself. Was it a check? Was it cashed?
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  • InkdancerInkdancer member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Every gift should get a thank you note. I'm sorry that your friends are rude.
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  • ValigoreValigore member
    Third Anniversary First Comment
    It was actually two $25 gift cards.
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  • misshart00misshart00 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    If you're ever talking to her, I think you can ask if they got them. But I wouldn't do anything beyond that.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    misshart00 said:
    If you're ever talking to her, I think you can ask if they got them. But I wouldn't do anything beyond that.
    This.  Unfortunately, while you should have gotten a thank-you note, you can't ask for one.
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  • AngusaurAngusaur member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    Yeah, you should most definitely expect a thank you. But, some people are just incredibly rude. My cousin, who I have a rocky on and off relationship with, included my and FI's name on an invite for my mother, father, and brother, although I am in my own household. We attended the wedding, gave a cash gift, and only my mother and father received a thank you note.

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  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Any gift given requires a thank you note. Your friend is in the wrong.
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  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    You should have gotten a thank-you note.
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  • JeeGooDowsterJeeGooDowster member
    Seventh Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    Yes, ANY gift should receive a Thank You Note...however, do you know anyone who attended the wedding?  Maybe Thank You Notes haven't been sent out to anybody yet.
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  • JeeGooDowsterJeeGooDowster member
    Seventh Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    carynNchan said:
    Yes, ANY gift should receive a Thank You Note...however, do you know anyone who attended the wedding?  Maybe Thank You Notes haven't been sent out to anybody yet.
    Either way - it's rude since it's the 3-month mark!  Maybe wait until the end of the month to start inquiring if they received it.
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  • ValigoreValigore member
    Third Anniversary First Comment
    Thank you for everyone that has replied it makes me feel better knowing I'm not they only one who thinks its rude.
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  • sarahuflsarahufl member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    You absolutely should get a TY note.
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  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Yes, you should.  But some people are just rude-- out of the three weddings I've attended in the past two years, only one sent a TY note.  And yes I gave a gift at all of them.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

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  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited January 2014
    Is this a trick question?
    image
    Yes, you should have received a thank you. $50, $5K or $5 all deserve a thank you note…especially when you sent the gift and no verbal thank you was given. Continue to be the bigger person - but I would totally ask if she received it and make sure it wasn't stolen or lost in the mail.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    You should get one, but I agree with a PP, if you know anyone else that went (or sent a gift), see if they got a thank you card yet. Maybe the couple is using one of their wedding photos to have custom thank you cards made up & that can take some time depending on how fast the photographer provides the photos back to the couple. Then they have to wait for them to be printed & shipped to them & still write them out. If they aren't super prompt about it, that could take some time.

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  • clarke10clarke10 member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    You absolutely should have received a thank-you note. I wouldn't bring it up though. That comes off as just as rude to me. 
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  • cowgirl8238cowgirl8238 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    You should have received a thank you note, however not everyone was raised proper and does them.  I would make an inquiry to them and just ask if they received the gift you sent and leave it at that.
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  • phiraphira member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    I would ask if they got the gift. It's NOT rude to ask: you're actually not sure if they got the gift cards.

    If they did and don't send a card, there's nothing you can or should do. But I think that, for peace of mind, you should ask if they got the gift.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
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  • dramamonkeydramamonkey member
    250 Love Its Third Anniversary 100 Comments First Answer
    phira said:
    I would ask if they got the gift. It's NOT rude to ask: you're actually not sure if they got the gift cards.

    If they did and don't send a card, there's nothing you can or should do. But I think that, for peace of mind, you should ask if they got the gift.
    THIS. 

    If it were me, I would TOTALLY want someone to ask me if I received their gift if they didn't get a Thank You note! 
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  • Aray82Aray82 member
    500 Comments 250 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Yes, a thank you should have been sent. I was unable to fly out for a close friend's wedding a couple years ago, and the only gift I could afford was a meat thermometer from her registry that was barely $20. I still got a thoughtful thank you note, which I really appreciated. Sadly, that is becoming more the exception than the given nowadays, it seems. However, as PPs have said, you also really can't say anything about it either.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Yes, you should have gotten a thank-you note.  As PPs have noted, you can call the recipients and find out if they got your gift, although you cannot tell them that they are rude for not thanking you for your gift.
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