yep, this happened (nwr)

whitjoy · January 2014

Sitting at work today, when I get an e-mail from my MOH's sister about a baby shower she is hosting (my MOH is pregnant). The shower is scheduled to take place 3 weeks before my wedding, which is totally fine because I do not anticipate having much left to get done, plus I'm pretty excited about the baby because my MOH is also my FSIL. Anyways...the e-mail lists when and where the shower will be (at the mommy-to-be's house) and has a sign-up sheet for food items to bring...ok...no problem, I can totally bring food, just didn't know I was co-hosting. Here's the kicker...there is also a list of "to do's" (with its own corresponding sign-up) of things that need to be "made" for the nursery. A few of which include pillows, sheets, furniture, wall décor, etc. Sigh. Guess I have to be ok with this because it's family. Wish I had the heads up though.

themuffinman16 · January 2014

She wants people to design her nursery? What if you are not Amish and don't know how to make a quilt?

themuffinman16 · January 2014

I, personally, would not make anything. If you want to make some food, it would be a small effort to this shower. I would not make sheets, wall decor, or furniture for the new baby. I guarantee you won't be the only one.

MrsDeRuyter87 · January 2014

dmyrick78 said:

She wants people to design her nursery? What if you are not Amish and don't know how to make a quilt?

OMG THAT MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD!

Jen4948 · January 2014

You didn't get the email. It got caught in the spam filter.

HisGirlFriday13 · January 2014

If by "wall decor" you mean "a framed inspiration print I can buy from etsy for $15," sure, I'm all over that.

Otherwise...forget it.

Jen4948 · January 2014

meganpaigenolen said:

Jen4948 said:

You didn't get the email. It got caught in the spam filter.

Oh lord. What if she's one of those people with that weird add on where you can see if someone has read your message or not? Judging from the post, I wouldn't put it past her.

It's actually possible to indicate on those add-ons that you don't want to send a response.

phira · January 2014

dmyrick78 said:

She wants people to design her nursery? What if you are not Amish and don't know how to make a quilt?

I JUST DON'T KNOW

Inkdancer · January 2014

I would tell her that I could do one or the other. Not both. I'm a crafty person and I love making things so I'd be happy to make something for my nephew, but not when I'm also cooking and planning my own wedding!

Amyzen83 · January 2014

For wall decor, I'd buy some butcher paper and get some finger paints and let my cats and dog go town in the back yard. What it's an abstract wall mural!

EverAfer · January 2014

Oh gosh...is that what they're showering the mother-to-be with?

Or were you supposed to bring food, make something, and bring a gift?

I can't help you, if I was close enough to the "host", I might just pull her aside and shake her for a few minutes.

Chipmunk415 · January 2014

dmyrick78 said:

She wants people to design her nursery? What if you are not Amish and don't know how to make a quilt?

I'll admit, slightly hurt by this one- my mom makes beautiful, stunning quilts. We are not Amish, though my Grandma now lives in a Mennonite run facility in Lancaster, PA (she was not Amish either). Recently, Mom made FI a wallhanging (he loves her bright colored wall hangings and we have several displayed in our home), and got the flannel, black and white with touches of red and beige KING SIZE bed quilt that he really wanted done in time for Christmas (it's a very masculine winter quilt, nice contrast to my king sized double wedding ring summer quilt with deep jewel tones). She'd also previously made him a flannel lap quilt in Marine Corps and ASU colors with pops of blue, black, and white, that fits him from neck to feet, for his birthday. The look on his face at all three of these items, combined with the face splitting grin once he had wrapped himself in the quilts, was great.

Enough thread jacking. OP-go buy sheets and pillowcases, cut off the tags, call it "made". Or, just buy stuff and leave as is. She can decorate her own darn nursery.

chibiyui · January 2014

I give every baby born in my family and friends circle a hand-crocheted stuffed animal.

That I buy off Etsy cause I don't have time for that shit.

thisismynickname2 · January 2014

If you can't afford to do something so basic as get furniture for your nursery, you can't afford the baby.

whitjoy · January 2014

Today I received another email from moh's sister. MOH's sister will be assigning "duties" to us. We aren't showering the new mommy with things for her nursery, she has a registry, but based on the email chain I'm not sure my MOH knows her sister is sending us tasks. It seems like the sister asked my MOH what she wanted for her nursery and is now delegating those things to us...IN ADDITION to bringing food and getting a gift off the registry.

Jen4948 · January 2014

whitjoy said:

Today I received another email from moh's sister. MOH's sister will be assigning "duties" to us. We aren't showering the new mommy with things for her nursery, she has a registry, but based on the email chain I'm not sure my MOH knows her sister is sending us tasks. It seems like the sister asked my MOH what she wanted for her nursery and is now delegating those things to us...IN ADDITION to bringing food and getting a gift off the registry.

Did you already decline the invitation?

arrippa · January 2014

whitjoy said:

Today I received another email from moh's sister. MOH's sister will be assigning "duties" to us. We aren't showering the new mommy with things for her nursery, she has a registry, but based on the email chain I'm not sure my MOH knows her sister is sending us tasks. It seems like the sister asked my MOH what she wanted for her nursery and is now delegating those things to us...IN ADDITION to bringing food and getting a gift off the registry.

What?

climbingsingle · January 2014

Making sheets and pillows? Are you effing kidding me?

cowgirl8238 · January 2014

whitjoy said:

Today I received another email from moh's sister. MOH's sister will be assigning "duties" to us. We aren't showering the new mommy with things for her nursery, she has a registry, but based on the email chain I'm not sure my MOH knows her sister is sending us tasks. It seems like the sister asked my MOH what she wanted for her nursery and is now delegating those things to us...IN ADDITION to bringing food and getting a gift off the registry.

Is that a joke?? If you haven't declined yet you most certainly should. Then send along something and call it a day.

HisGirlFriday13 · January 2014

Wait, I am so confused. You're being delegated tasks ON TOP OF having to provide food and buy a gift off a registry? What the what now?

Also, if I attend a baby shower, my gift is always a hand-crocheted baby blanket, that I make myself. (But I only do those for good friends, who are also the only people whose baby showers I'm willing to attend.)

But if I got an e-mail like this, that friend would be getting a store-bought something, store-bought food, and serious side-eyeing.

HaileyDancingbear · January 2014

Buy something from Target or Walmart and cut the tags off. Also grab some food from the supermarket, take it out of the packaging, and put it in a tupperware container you own. See if they have the nerve to call you out on it not being homemade.

I'm usually the kind of person that would bring homemade food and a very thoughtful gift (As in something I think would be useful, wether or not that meant it was handmade) and I enjoy being generous, but when people make ridiculous demands, my desire to be generous dies. If I'm going to do something nice and put a lot of effort into making you happy, it should be out of the kindness of my heart, not because you're demanding it of me. Being a jerk isn't how you get me to be nice.

Amyzen83 · January 2014

I don't think the MOH realizes her sister is scaring all of her friends away from this party

jdluvr06 · January 2014

Does your MOH actually know that her sister is doing this?

Amyzen83 · January 2014

Lol! Twin thoughts! I'd be so mortified if I found out someone was doing this for events being hosted for me

Kauris · January 2014

It's terribly unfortunate that your MOH might be punished for her sister's terrible etiquette.

whitjoy · January 2014

@kasmith yes, that's why I Lean towards just letting it go.

jdluvr06 · January 2014

Amyzen83 said:

Lol! Twin thoughts! I'd be so mortified if I found out someone was doing this for events being hosted for me

Lol! I would be too. Not only that but if the sister is the problem and the MOH knows nothing about it then I would still get her a really nice gift because it isn't the mother to bes fault the that the person who is throwing her shower is being horrible.

EverAfer · January 2014

whitjoy said:
Today I received another email from moh's sister. MOH's sister will be assigning "duties" to us. We aren't showering the new mommy with things for her nursery, she has a registry, but based on the email chain I'm not sure my MOH knows her sister is sending us tasks. It seems like the sister asked my MOH what she wanted for her nursery and is now delegating those things to us...IN ADDITION to bringing food and getting a gift off the registry.

Assuming your MOH doesn't know this, I would just get her whatever gift you would originally give her, whether it's off the registry or something else. It wouldn't be fair to blame the MOH if she didn't know.

I would probably call the MOH's sister and inform her that I am bringing a gift, and a gift only. If she objects and or insist, decline on the grounds that while you love your MOH, a gift is of your choice, not a demand. And as a shower guest, I do not want to make food, decor, and do tasks. (I could if asked nicely for one of those things, but NO, not this.) If I attended something like this, I'd so side-eye it, that I'd lose some respect for both the sister and MOH. So then I'd rather not be there.

She's having a baby, she's not a charity case.

If someone did this to my friends and family on behalf of me, I would probably go BS!

themuffinman16 · January 2014

My mother makes quilts as well. I joke with her all the time. I did not mean to offend.

short+sassy · January 2014

I'm really not understanding the whole "homemade" thing. That just sounds weird. I'd reply back with whatever dish I was bringing and an apology that due to my medical condition, "craft-deficiencitis", I inherited from my mother, I am unable to sew and glue cutesy stuff together.

It reminds me of a coworker's wife who invited me to their Superbowl party a few years ago. She initially didn't ask so ettiquetee good there, but I sent her an e-mail asking if I could bring anything. She replies back with a recipe for homemade lemonade AND a recipe for potato salad and asked if I could make those and bring them. I think my mouth dropped open, lol. Ummm, no. I replied back and apologized that I would not be able to make either of those recipes, but I would love to contribute and would bring a tortellini pasta salad. Like, do you seriously expect me to spend my Sat. afternoon squeezing lemons and cutting a sack full of potatoes into small pieces? Lol.

Pepper6 · January 2014

Okay, so I'm pregnant and there's no way I want a bunch of people making random stuff for our nursery. I would seriously give your MOH a heads up about this...if my sister was planning my shower and started telling people to make stuff for the nursery that I won't use, I'd definitely want to know about it.

yep, this happened (nwr)

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